


Theory and Practice

by CrescentMoonRising



Series: Theory and Practice [1]
Category: Loki - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Tom Hiddleston- Fandom
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Erotica, F/M, NSFW, New York City, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychology, S.H.I.E.L.D - Freeform, Smut, Therapy, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-16
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-02-17 14:23:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 60,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2312753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrescentMoonRising/pseuds/CrescentMoonRising
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dr. Alexandra Tierney, S.H.I.E.L.D’s top psychiatrist, is charged with a mission that places herself and the world in the balance.  She must work with Loki to find the key to stopping the newest alien assault on Earth.</p><p>She has never faced an a patient, or an enemy, who will challenge her like this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The first chapter will introduce our heroine and her mission. Comments/suggestions are always welcome and appreciated!

A blast of cool air caressed her face as the steel elevator doors opened onto her floor.  Workers moved back and forth into their offices and secretaries began to assemble, as the area sprung to life.  In any other building, this setting could be the backdrop for a myriad of companies or firms within Manhattan.

However, as most things are— this building was not what it appeared.  The S.H.I.E.LD site at West 57th street never broadcast the multitude of government intricacies that it held deep within its walls.

And like most of the building, Alexandra Tierney’s office didn’t announce what happened behind the closed doors.  She was part of what was affectionately, (or not), known as “shrink row”.  Most of the people coming into her office would rather not be advertising their presence.

Stopping at her office at the end of the floor, she scanned the printout handed to her by her secretary.  She noted the names of the patients for her morning. She thanked Marisa, who was already transcribing her personal notes from the day before.  She was forever  grateful that she had the good luck to have her as an assistant. 

Alexandra moved into her personal office, removing her coat and scarf and opening her briefcase for her notes. While her computer began to start, she walked over to the windows. She opened the blinds to their fullest extent.  For the briefest of moments, she enjoyed the bright sunlight as it spread across the skyline. There was a distinct chill hanging in the air for late March in the city, and she was glad to be inside.

Watching her screen come to life, she was about to type in her passwords when the intercom went off.

“Dr. Tierney?”

She pressed the red button to respond back, knowing Marissa must have a good reason for the interruption. She usually spent the first part of her morning to mentally prepare for her patients. As senior member on staff, she had the ability to choose who she took on—and most times she found herself with some of the most traumatized Agents in every division.

“Yes, Marisa?”

“Um…” there was a pause—a hesitation in her voice that Alexandra usually never heard from her assistant. 

“Agent Hill is on the line for you.”

It was Alexandra’s turn to pause, accompanied by a large intake of air.  She couldn’t imagine why the second highest S.H.I.E.L.D. agent was calling her. She looked down at the flashing light on her phone keyboard. Realizing it wasn’t going to go away, she picked up the receiver.

“Hello?”

A brusque voice responded, “Agent Tierney.”

Alexandra closed her eyes, only for a moment.   _I’m not an agent anymore.  Haven’t been for quite some time._   Pushing forward, she responded, “Yes. What can I do for you Agent Hill?”

“Your presence is required upstairs. Immediately.  You’ll be finished in time for your 10:00 appointment.”

Not even flinching at Hill’s knowledge of her schedule, she acquiesced there was no escaping this request.

“I understand.  I will be there shortly.”  A thought passed as to exactly how far upstairs she was travelling this morning.

Hill chimed in, “There will be an agent outside to escort you.  Thank you.”  Her voice was punctuated by a click, telling Alexandra that their conversation was unceremoniously over. _Mind reading must be part of the new security system in our offices_ , she mused.

Straightening out her skirt and jacket, she walked back to the outer office.  As expected, there was a nondescript agent awaiting her presence.  Alexandra wordlessly shrugged her shoulders and gave a comforting smile towards her assistant.  She silently hoped it would calm Marisa enough to keep her from dissolving into panic. The poor girl had turned white in the past five minutes.

Thoughts raced through her mind as to the nature of the summons.  She couldn’t imagine it concerned any of her patients. She began to run through the names of those she had been working with—and those in the past.

She slowed as they closed in on the elevators, until she noticed the Agent continue towards a singular car at the opposite side of the hall. The nondescript doors didn’t have button to press. There was simply a pad with a holographic reader.  The agent placed his keycard up and the doors immediately opened. 

 _I guess it’s time to throw “normal” out of the window for today._   She wordlessly turned and followed the agent into the private elevator.  The doors closed, no buttons were pressed—yet, the cab began to ascend.  She tapped her heels into the floor, enjoying the hollow noises they made in the confined space.  Noting the near statue-like position of the agent next to her, she began to devise ways that might distract his attention.  She quickly deduced that sweeping his legs from behind and landing him on his ass would be first on her list.

Luckily for the anonymous agent, the doors opened to what appeared to be another office.  Only this one encompassed the entire width of the building.  The windows spanned the ceiling to the floor, demonstrating that the only other building that was taller than their current position was Stark Tower in the distance.  She could see clear across the river into New Jersey.

She continued forward towards the large table impersonating as a desk.  Agent Hill stood adjacent to the individual seated in the oversized chair. Closing in on the pair, her breath picked up its pace.  She’d met with Agent Hill on several occasions when she was working with high level clients and assignments of a classified nature.  The individual in the chair, however, was only a whisper for most agents within SHIELD’s headquarters. 

The man with the eye patch never looked up from the myriad of files across the desk. Computer screens and a tablet flashed non-stop imagery around the Director.  “Doctor Tierney. Your work precedes itself. I can see why you’re one of our top psychiatrists.”

She should have taken his words as a compliment, but it was clearly  an opening for his ultimate goal. She decided to play along.

“Thank you sir.”

She quickly glanced over the files, scanning for the names on them.  She realized most of them were low level agents she’d seen for months.  Then, she saw the tablet with Agent Barton’s face on it.  Her jaw clenched, and her stomach dropped instantly.   _What did Clint do now?  He’s already on thin ice around here._

Director Fury twisted his finger on the screen, Barton’s history cascaded down the side of the tablet.  “Agent Barton was one of your clients after the Battle of New York, correct?”

A knowing grin flashed across her face, “You know I can’t divulge that information.  He’s my patient.”

This caught the Director’s attention.  He slid a paper across the desk.  She saw what was the equivalent of a disclosure agreement that was probably signed when Barton was barely eighteen.  S.H.I.E.L.D wasn’t above playing fast and loose with moral guidelines, especially if it got them what they wanted. 

Agent Hill cleared her throat, bringing Alexandra back to the conversation. “Yes, I worked extensively with Agent Barton during his recovery after the defense of the city.”

“So you’re aware of the circumstances of his kidnapping?”

“Not entirely”, she sighed. Making a connection with Barton was a tenuous and delicate matter. He’d refused, with no exception, to discuss the brainwashing.

However, Alexandra found some grainy footage on the server files from the former S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters before it collapsed. It showed what most people knew- an alien force came through to open a portal for the rest of his army to attack the planet.  Everyone who worked in the agency had some knowledge of the circumstances behind the massive siege a year ago. For Alexandra, that knowledge was of little concern to her.  She tried not to focus on who had hurt Barton; rather, working with him to move forward from it.

“Well, Doctor, you may have more knowledge than you thought.” Fury continued, frowning, “We have a classified mission of the highest levels that requires your expertise.” He flipped the tablet around, displaying a split screen.

On one side was what could only be defined as tall, dark and handsome: a gentleman with long black hair graced by an impeccably tailored suit.  He was walking—no—gliding, along a staircase; cane in hand, flowing scarf around his neck. 

On the opposite, was another man—but man was too light of a word to describe him.   Clothed in extensive armor with glints of gold and green accents, he was ready to enter battle.  Like a tiger in a cage, he methodically paced within the circular cell.  Even with the distance of the camera, she could see his eyes flashing with an anticipation that bordered on rage.

The green cloak and black hair finally made the connection in her mind to that grainy footage from a year ago. Her mouth dropped open, but no sound came out. Alexandra’s eyes focused on the three staring straight back at her.  She inhaled sharply in an attempt to compose herself. 

Crossing her arms in front of her chest, she could barely speak.  She sputtered, “I’m sorry sir.  A mission?”

An eyebrow rose as he sat back in his enormous chair.  “Yes. This is the war criminal we now know as Loki.  He was the catalyst that brought the alien forces to our planet.”  He sighed, a precursor for his next statement. “We have reason to believe there will be another impending attack on our planet. We need you to garner whatever information he has been learned and experienced while in collusion with those creatures.”   

The air hung in the office like a choking fog.  Alexandra shook her head, trying to shake off her shock.  For a moment, she was sure she misheard him.  The words tumbled out of her mouth, “I…I’m not an interrogator.  Wouldn’t this be better suited for Romanoff or…”

Fury cut her off quickly with a wave of his hand, “That route would be ineffective.  We believe that a different approach is fitting at this time.” He shuffled through some of the files, “You were one of the most prolific and successful profilers in the agency.  With your knowledge and skills, you have the best chance of making headway in…”

It was Alexandra’s turn to cut off Fury.  Her voice hit a fevered pitch, “Sir, with all due respect, I do not work in the field anymore.  This idea, I just don’t understand how this would pertain to me.  And there is no guarantee that this would even work. It’s impossible to believe I could even get close to the information you would need in time.”  Her throat began to feel like it was closing. 

Fury’s voice grew, “This isn’t the field, per se.  You’ve worked with difficult and traumatized patients before.  In fact, I’d say it was your specialty. This should be no different.”

She shook her head rapidly, “Not anything like this. I’m sorry, but I am not the person you need.”

Agent Hill interrupted her murmuring, “Agent Tierney.”

She slammed her hands onto the table.  Leaning forward she snapped towards Hill, “ _Doctor_ Tierney.”

Fury began to slowly rise from his chair.  At full height he was a good half a foot taller than her, but in conjunction with his dark cloak and scowl, he gave the impression of being eight feet tall.  “Doctor, correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe you are still an agent with us, whether you care to recognize that facet or not.  You may have worked in this building for years, but your career was founded on your proficiency in the field.” He leaned forward to match her glare, their faces close together. “And as the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D, I’m making this an order.”

She backed off the desk, realizing her place.  Agent Hill moved behind Fury, motioning towards a set of doors at the back of the office that began to open.  “You’ll have three days before your first meeting.  All the case files and data will be sent to your office within the hour along with codes to access the Level 6 servers.  Your current patients will be placed with other staff for the time being.”  Even with one eye, his glare shot straight through her. “Am I making myself clear, doctor?”

She nodded silently, unable to formulate any coherent thought.  He followed Agent Hill towards the doors, his voice carrying through the space, “I’m glad we understand each other.  If you need anything, you will contact Agent Hill.  Thank you, Doctor.” 

Alexandra’s blank stare followed the two agents as they left the office.  As the door slammed, the reverberation echoed around her.  She realized how incredibly alone she had become in the expansive space.  Her eyes became drawn to the loop of video on the tablet from the circular cell. For a brief moment, the man on the screen looked directly into the camera, and a chill ran straight down her spine. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Two finds Alexandra mentally struggling with the weight of her mission, as the day has come for her first meeting with Loki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I send my undying love and gratitude to kitsunemiyuki25, who is the world’s most patient BETA and generally kicks total ass. Comments, suggestions and general love are all appreciated and welcome!

_There is no stopping it. There is only…the war._

Alexandra snapped the screen closed and crushed her fingers against her eyes.  She approximated that she had been watching footage since the previous night.  As the light began to graze through the alabaster coated shades in her bedroom, she deduced it was now closing in on seven in the morning. 

She let out a long groan, realizing she hadn’t made a dent in the hundreds of hours of footage that was on her laptop. She had viewed multiple videos from New Mexico, Germany and New York.  Every single one detailed the carnage Loki brought along with the Chitauri.  S.H.I.E.L.D also sent four drives that held hundreds of documents and debriefing sessions with the Agents involved in the battle.  She knew more about the three days leading up to and into the invasion than she’d ever dreamed— or wanted.  

She realized two things after absorbing all the information.  The first was her newfound sympathy for Agent Barton.  When he had described that he continually felt that his brain was not attached to his body anymore, she believed it to be a euphemism.  She had no idea that he was being quite literal. She could even understand some of the actions he had taken in the last year.  Some of them could be excused.  Some.

The second was that Alexandra’s anxiety was at a critical point as she realized the clock was ticking down.  After days being locked in her apartment; she feared she was nowhere near prepared enough for what was to come. The isolation she felt was enhanced by the tightening of her muscles around the base of her neck and shoulders. 

She attempted to decompress by reminding herself that this mission had reduced her to a well-trained babysitter than an agent on a mission. For however long this monstrosity was going to be placed upon her, she would be lucky to discover any helpful information from Loki. This first session would be a delicately choreographed dance to determine their respective weaknesses.

She had more questions than answers at this point.  The only certainty was her return to the building that evening. She shoved the laptop back into its casing; roughly pushing the papers around her on the bed.  As much as she would enjoy the look on Fury and Hill’s faces if she told them exactly how she felt about them, she could not lose her job.  She had been part of the Human Services division for as long as she could remember. She was named head of the Manhattan section four years ago. Alexandra hated to admit it, but private practice would be mind-numbingly mundane at this point in her life. 

She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and grimaced.  Her eyes reflected the effects of her marathon sessions in front of a computer.  Their azure coloring was greener than blue, and the lines around them were more pronounced.  She was exhausted but knew sleep would not come at all until late that night.

 She halted in her pacing and looked around the chaos of her bedroom.  She had been inside for almost forty-eight hours, sans a quick run to a corner store for overpriced milk.  A hand ran through her caramel colored layers and decided she needed to get out and put fresh air in her lungs. 

 She rummaged through the pile of clean clothes, adjacent to the dirty ones, and found socks, track pants and a worn sweatshirt from her alma mater, Hunter College.  She exited her building on West 85th and headed on down to 81st.  She slowed down enough to cross from the Natural Museum of History before entering the park, but picked up her pace as the road opened to her. 

Initially she thought she would just hit the lake and turn back, but her nerves were beginning to drive her.  She felt her adrenaline flood through her veins and pushed herself into a larger loop, heading for the boat basin.

She tried to drown out the fears that had crept into her mind.  While her eyes focused on people passing her on the road, the visions from the files intruded through her attempts at peace.  Alexandra flashed back to the images of Loki turning Barton and Selvig into blue eyed zombies. She heard the screams from the onlookers during Loki’s attack on the helpless doctor in Germany. She felt the seething rage that was barely contained in his attempt at intimidation to Agent Romanoff. 

 She was so engrossed in her mental replay that she did not realize her name was being called until her arm was tapped.

 ”Alex!” the man running next to her grinned. 

 She finally recognized the man as one of her fellow psychiatrists, albeit he was dressed much differently than she was accustomed.  She slowed to a stop, yanking out her earbuds.  She attempted to catch her breath as she acknowledged her co-worker. 

 “David, funny seeing you here— how are you?”

He circled to her right, bouncing his legs to keep them from cramping. Even with the warm sweats they were both wearing, New York was still in a wintry spell.  A chill laced through the air, and the burgeoning sun hadn’t diminished the sub-frigid temperatures.  

“I’m good, good! Have to admit, I’ve been worried about you.  Haven’t seen you around and I heard that Marisa was on vacation.” 

He flicked the sweat from his forehead, smoothing out his light brown hair towards his back. “Is everything alright?” he asked, his eyes softening. 

She sighed before diving into the prepared speech that was bestowed upon her along with the classified files. 

“Oh..yes.  I was asked to work on some of the research facility data that’s been coming through on group mentality.  They needed someone to facilitate one of their studies and ensure that everything was being properly validated.”  She couldn’t stop her hands from interlacing her fingers, picking at her nails. 

He was nodding along with her, his large hands resting on his narrow hips. His labored breaths drifted towards her into steam, intermingling with her own.

He was taller than her, but not by much.  She remembered when he began in the division right after the attack on New York.  S.H.I.E.L.D had brought in several new staff members to help with the influx of agents requiring assistance in the aftermath. He had always seemed pleasant enough, consistently engaging others with a genial nature.  He had fit in quite well with the other therapists, and had the secretaries’ seal of approval.

 She appreciated the distraction.  Alexandra continued, secure in her belief that the story was plausible enough.

 “Anyway, I’ve been meaning to thank you for taking a couple of my patients for the time being.  Anything I should be aware of right now?” 

 She began to jog towards the marina area, hoping that she could move him off of asking further questions .  Although she had been told there was little talk in regards to her whereabouts, she was certain that her colleague’s curiosities had been picked up on her sudden leave.

 David managed to keep up with her quick pace, albeit he was struggling for air as he spoke, “Oh, no issues whatsoever.  You can be assured; they are all in safe and good hands with me.  I have appointments lined up for the following week for everyone and they are all taking the changeover in stride.”

 His voice drifted away from hers, prattling about his schedule.  A frightening thought flashed though Alexandra’s mind,  _if we are all still here in a week_.  She had been so focused on her own anger and personal fears; she selfishly lost sight of what was important.  She physically shuddered, causing David’s face to flash in concern. 

He finally stopped chattering to gasp, “Are you alright? Alex, you’re as white as a ghost!”

She tried to brush off the giveaway with a shake of her hand, but he had immediately snapped to attention.

“Come on, you need to take a breather! Sit down over here,” he commanded, grabbing her arm.

He directed her to a park bench overlooking the practically empty marina. She decided that the fastest way to get him off her case would be to laugh it off.

“I guess I’ve been looking at computer screens for too long.” She forced a smile across her face, and laughed, “It’s probably part of the experiment: how long we can go without light and human interaction before a breakdown.”

She laughed again, eyeing him slightly.  Her tactic appeared to work, and he laughed right along with her. 

“Well, remember who we work for, Alex.  We’re all S.H.I.E.L.D’s minions, doing our national duty.”

 He smiled brightly in her direction, leaning slightly towards her.

As she relaxed slightly, he dropped his voice, in a mock whisper, “I’ve been hearing that something big is going on.  Rumor is—something is going to shake up the entire S.H.I.E.L.D infrastructure to the core.” He paused for effect, waving his hands, “possibly something alien.”

 Every hair on her head and arms shot up as her stomach dropped.  She stood and looked at her phone, pretending to check the time.

 “Ohmygosh, I’m so late! I have to get home and return to my hamster wheel.” She grinned towards him, albeit her body turned away as quickly as possible. “Thank you again for your help— and the company.” 

He bowed slightly towards her,

“Always a pleasure Alex, I’m glad I could be of service to you today.” As she moved away, he called out, “I hope I’ll see you around the office soon!” 

 She waved at him and began to take off in a full on run.  The dread was creeping through her pores and causing her to profusely sweat and simultaneously shiver at the same time.

She had completed the circle and slowed to a sprint towards Central Park West, when her phone rang with an unidentified number on the ID.  She answered, knowing it could only be a handful of people at this hour.

She was becoming irritated with the frequency of the voice she heard on the other end.

“Doctor Tierney, it’s Agent Hill.  We expect you at six-thirty this evening.  You will enter through the back security gates and there will be agents available to escort you down to the cell where…”

Alexandra jumped into the conversation, “Cell?  This is news to me, Hill.  Please remind me when I ever agreed that I’d be doing this anywhere but my office?”

Maria Hill scoffed loudly into the phone.  “Have you watched any of the footage?  You realize you are dealing with someone who is not hinged properly.  Your safety needs to be maintained throughout the mission.”

It was Alexandra’s turn to demonstrate her incredulity, “And that’s going to be resolved by keeping us in a dimly lit room with two chairs?  We’ll be in one of S.H.I.E.L.D’s temperature-controlled black holes that are monitored by more cameras than a newsroom? Furthermore, those videos you sent demonstrate that he can inflict impressive damage from inside one of your “cells” already.” 

Moving towards the street, she held the phone closer to her mouth as to increase her volume without attracting attention. 

“You want me to get this information from him through some type of misguided therapy? Fine.  But you have to play by some of my rules, one being: meetings are in my office.  You can figure out how to keep me safe from in there.”

Hill was silent for a moment, and Alexandra held her breath waiting for the response.

“Your office. Six-thirty, tonight.  I sincerely wish you luck.” 

The double beep indicated that the call was closed. 

“Thanks to you, as well,” Alexandra mumbled as she paced herself back into a run towards her apartment.

*****

The doors opened to a handful of agents awaiting her arrival.  She pushed past them, ignoring their stares. Alexandra gazed at the sun through the hallway windows, which was just beginning its descent into the sky alongside her.  The offices were long deserted for the evening, sans the large one at the end.  The silence in the hallway felt strange and unnatural.

 She wasn’t surprised to find the two more agents standing outside of her office, figuring this was the added security Hill sent down.  However, as she got closer, she heard noises coming from inside.  Furious, she rushed in to see who was disrupting her space. 

 Alexandra’s cheeks flushed red as found one agent replacing a board in the ceiling. She couldn’t see properly, but she inferred he was placing a multitude of cameras to monitor the sessions.  The second agent was installing something into her floor, right in front of the couch.  She dropped her bag and coat onto the desk, whirling around toward the intruders.

 “What the hell is going on?”

 The camera agent packed up his gear and spoke without looking at her, “Extra precautions, ma’am.  We’ll be done in a minute.” 

 The whirring of the drill hit its mark, effectively drowning out the last of his words. The agent on the floor nodded towards his colleague, standing to attention.  Alexandra examined what he had fixed into the floor.  It was a large loop, fastened by two steel screws.  She looked up to search the agent’s faces for any type of explanation, but was met with their backs as they left silently.

 She fixed her chair, and grabbed her bag.  Although she normally used high tech gadgets for her notes, today she made the decision to work with tradition.  She pulled out a lined notepad and pen. Placing them on the desk, she checked the time once more.  It was six forty-five. 

Hanging up her coat, she realized her hands were shaking and could feel her heart crashing against her chest.  Alexandra paced back and forth, closing her eyes.  _Breathe_.  _Remember your goal, and get yourself together.  He’ll sense your fear and use it to his advantage._   _Breathe_.

Her pulse began to steady, but the thumping refused to subside from her ears.  She halted in her footsteps upon the realization that she wasn’t hearing the sound of her heart.  The rhythmic sound was of multiple footsteps, growing louder as they closed in on her door. 

Within that marching drumbeat was the unmistakable clink of heavy chains as they rapped soundly against one another.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter three is Loki and Alexandra’s first encounter—and it begins to roll from here! Alexandra is put to the test by Loki and his delightful charms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter also becomes NSFW at the end- enjoy! Comments and questions are always welcome! A HUGE thank you to persephone622 and her advice in working with a difficult god. As always, my love to kitsunemiyuki25 who is beyond amazing as a BETA and friend.

Alexandra involuntarily backed away from the door as it swung open, revealing a small army poised to enter.  One agent entered first, a small black box in his hands.  However, the package of greatest importance was directly behind him. 

She stepped aside to let the nearly dozen agents enter, with their trustee in the middle.  Alexandra watched with a hint of awe as he glided through the pack, the chains clattering in a chorus around him.  Alexandra lost count to the amount of links that attached to various parts on his body.  Each agent moved towards him to remove their chains, sans two agents who remained at his sides with their guns drawn.The unidentified Agent of the day walked towards Alexandra and handed her the box.

 “Dr. Tierney, this will alert us to any issues you may have with the prisoner.  Press the button and it will incapacitate him and signal our response.” 

 She opened the box to find a small silver pen with a red button at the top.  Her professional duty told her she should be paying attention to the agent as he rattled off his required information.  She heard bits about the timing of the device, and her needed proximity to the prisoner. However, Alexandra could not keep her eyes off her newest charge. 

Loki towered over the agents around him by at least a foot, if not more.  His long black hair cascaded down his shoulders, framed by gold and green accents on his clothing.  Underneath what appeared to be remnants of armor was a black tunic, which fell down below his waist.  His long legs were sheathed in leather pants, fashioned with gold buckles down the sides.  They were holsters for weapons he would never receive. 

 It was his eyes that had truly captured Alexandra’s attention.  They shone like two large African Jade stones, without any life to them. Loki searched around the room, taking in every minute detail. 

One of the agents moved forwards to grab the chain attached to Loki’s cuffed hands. He roughly pulled him, causing Loki to stumble forward.  The agent fastened the metal chain into the steel loop installed in the floor.  Loki’s mouth slowly upturned into a smirk, never losing his composure as he was manhandled around the office.

 “Dr. Tierney?” the main agent sputtered.  His frustration spilled over from her lack of focus to his directions. She tossed the box onto her desk and faced the agents in front of her. 

“Yes, I heard what you said.  The button is my failsafe and there are a thousand of you out there for my protection.  I’m a big girl, so if you’ll excuse me, everyone needs to get out.”  She pointed towards the door, one hand resting on her hip. 

 The multitude of suit-clad gentlemen filed out of the office, some shaking their heads in disbelief at Alexandra’s attitude.  She waited until the procession ended, with her door slamming closed, before she turned around.  She wasn’t expecting Loki’s attention to be focused on her with a glare mixed with anger and disgust. 

The two did not move for a moment, as the dance was about to begin. Alexandra shivered, wondering if it was one of S.H.I.E.L.D’s tricks. The room felt 10 degrees colder and was dropping. 

 He followed her movements as she crossed the room towards him. She straightened her shoulders and stopped in front of her usual position for a session: a high backed Victorian chair.  She waved her arm at him and towards the couch before seating herself.  She decided beforehand to allow him the feeling of control as to their commencement.

 As she expected, he continued to stand, his attention now turned to the framed papers on the slate wall behind her desk.  He, strained his fingers on his bound hands to glide across her steel desk. As he eyed her charcoal tinted couch, he bared his teeth before speaking. 

“I see that your agency has upgraded their containment chambers.  This is one of the nicer arrangements I have encountered for interrogation.” He strode in front of her, his gaze now focused on the windows overlooking midtown Manhattan.

 “Who said that this was an interrogation?” Alexandra coolly replied. 

 She sat back in her chair, feigning her relaxation.“I’m here to work with you.”

 Loki snapped his head towards her.  “Work? Interesting.  This is a new tactic for Fury’s little minions?  We’re going to be helping each other?” 

 He licked his lips regarding her once more.  “Please do continue, Agent Tierney.  I’m intrigued as to our lovely little arrangement.”

 He paused to sit in the middle of the couch, the frame straining under his weight.  Loki’s bound hands rested between his legs, appearing too comfortable for Alexandra’s taste. 

 A smile grew across her face, the emotions never reaching her eyes.  “Oh, no.  It’s not Agent.  You may call me Doctor Tierney, Loki.”

 His head tilted to the side, brow furrowing at her statement.  He opened his mouth to speak, but she jumped in before he had the chance .

 “I am a Psychologist.  I am a Doctor who helps others who are struggling within themselves.  I believe I can be of help to you, Loki.”

 The barely restrained façade finally cracked and vitriol poured forth from Loki like a sprung fountain. 

 “Struggling within themselves?  You mortals, with your ridiculous weaknesses and pitiful insecurities. A doctor within Midgard’s already ridiculous excuse for science.  How droll; giving crutches to support other’s weaknesses.”  He spit his words at her, “You are a pitiful race and deserve enslavement in another’s domain.” 

 He punctuated his tirade by resting back in the cushions, a look of pure detestation mixed with superiority splashed across his face.

 Alexandra never changed her stature, now satisfied that she had broken his first veneer. 

 “So, you believe mortals to be weak; without a purpose?  Is that why you attempted to enslave us?”

 Loki fell back into the couch while crossing his legs, “I would have brought this decrepit realm to a standard of dignity within the universe.  This race could become somewhat closer to the future within Asgard.”

 Alexandra shifted in her chair, leaning towards him, “And that would be your purpose?  Rule Earth as some all-powerful god, to make us, as you call it, ‘worthy?’”

 “My dear, I was born to be a king.” 

 Alexandra had to hold herself back from scoffing at his words.  Loki looked on inquisitively as she wrote a few words on the page before her next statement.

 Without looking up, she spoke in a calm but firm voice, “I believed it was your brother who was the one in line for a crown.”

 Thankfully, Alexandra had the experience of handling explosive outbursts from her patients and in her profiling experiences.  However, she couldn’t help her skin crawling at Loki’s large frame springing from the couch and his voice resonating throughout the office.

 “That fool is unworthy!  He is a pathetic, weak specimen of an Asgardian with a soft mind.  He deserves to be rotting on whatever realm he has currently decided requires his assistance.” He paced back and forth in the three foot radius that his chains would allow him. 

 “I learned many things in my time here, my dear Doctor.  One being that humans are a race that could be removed from the annals of time and forgotten completely.  It was all too easy to take the few measly weaklings that I had in my grasp to bring forth the needed armies to create my war.  It was my planning— my superior intellect— that brought me to the pinnacle of rule.” 

 He stopped, now peering down his nose at her.  She tried to remain motionless, but her breath quickened under his gaze.  He appeared almost manic, his eyes finally showing life within them. 

 “It is no matter.  I will return to Asgard and deposited in my cell where I will continue to await my destiny.  My only hope is that I can see just a morsel of the chaos that this realm will endure.  This time, every one of you will fall down to the commands of the Chitauri.”

 Alexandra tapped her fingers against her legs, knowing he was dangling the morsel with no intention of giving her more.  She decided on a different line of questioning.

 “You believe you’ll return to Asgard?  Wouldn’t it be interesting to have you remain here until your old friends arrive—as you’ve said. I believe they’d love to get their hands on you again, considering you failed last time.” 

 He chuckled under his breath, a smile on his face mimicking a lion baring his teeth. 

 “Do you believe that I would fall to their capture once again?  Do you not realize that every action I have completed is predestined to bring my greatness to light?”

 Alexandra sighed deeply, realizing her beliefs before their meeting were true.  His egocentric behavior was a foil to an anti-social personality.  He would stop at nothing to achieve his own misguided beliefs of greatness.  If not, he’d dance and cheer while worlds burned around him. If she was ever going to break him down into telling her any worthwhile information, it was going to be a miracle.

 Her attention flicked to the sun setting through the large paneled windows. It was another contributor to the frigid temperature of the room, and Alexandra swore she saw her breath in front of her. She looked upwards to find Loki’s frame engulfing her entire body as he stood mere feet in front of her.  She sat back in the chair; never breaking the eye contact he was so fond of maintaining.

 “Have you met any of the mortals I was so enthralled to manipulate during my stay here?” he asked. 

 He bent over to match her line of sight, his breaths leveled and composed. Alexandra couldn’t help herself and her mouth twitched from fear.  Loki’s face exploded into a jubilant smile accompanied by mirthless laughter.

 “You have!  Ah, I am so excited to know that my time has not been for naught!  Tell me, my dear, did they describe the feelings of complete incapacitation as I removed their functioning through their circulatory system?” He paused before continuing, “Did they whimper about how their actions were not their own?  How even trained pawns of your pathetic agency turned into my own personal slaves?”

 Alexandra couldn’t move as she watched Loki straining against the shackles, lights flashing from inside the cuffs.  He snapped at them in fury, noting their ability to hinder him not only from movement, but most likely from his magical powers as well. 

 He twisted his hands half-heartedly, while murmuring, “I wonder, my dear Doctor, what it would be like to have you within those powers.” 

 He inhaled and methodically bent towards her, practically leaning on his toes.  His eyes turned to slits and Alexandra swore she could feel cool air flowing from his mouth. 

 His eyes roamed up and down her body as the hint of a tongue flashed across his lips, “It would be most enjoyable to discover what delights you are capable while under another’s control.”

 Her ears rang with the raging of her heartbeat within them.  Alexandra snapped up from her chair and leaned into Loki, their faces now within inches of each other.  She was grinding her teeth and about to release them into profanity when the door swung open. The head agent walked through and stood at attention, unaffected by the two parties in the process of a stare-down.

 “Time’s up.  Let’s go.”  The cavalry marched into the office, restraining Loki once again into the labyrinth of chains on his body. 

 Alexandra and Loki never took their eyes off one another. Neither one relinquished their perceived control in the situation. The guards finally pulled Loki away, eliciting a humorless laugh. 

 He gleefully called to her, “Dr. Tierney, I look forward to our next conversation with great anticipation.” He laughed again, loud enough to echo over the sounds of the guard’s footsteps and the rattling of chains. 

 One of the agents gazed at Alexandra, who was still staring at the back of Loki’s head as he left the office.  He opened his mouth slightly, as if considering some form of comfort towards her.  She looked as if she would combust from the anger and dread peaking inside her. He thought better of his actions, and decided to leave her, closing the door behind him. 

Alexandra became cognizant of how badly her body was shaking.  She felt unnaturally weak and out of breath.  Lightheaded, she collapsed into her chair—glancing around at the room. She half expected to see the furniture broken and tossed about.  Her body ached as if she had just been through ten rounds in a losing bout. 

 She did not remember how she left the building, but she was walking against the tall buildings on Amsterdam, instinctively navigating herself home. Alexandra wanted nothing more than barricade herself within the four walls of her bedroom.  She longed to be blissfully unaware of the world; which was apparently crashing around her. 

 As she walked into her apartment, the rooms were lit from the lights of the buildings around hers.  She stood at her living room windows staring out towards the skyline.  Her emotions began to seep in the wake of her interactions with Loki.  She contemplated whether she wanted to cry or scream against the cool glass. 

 Alexandra decided against both actions.  She instead opted to open one of the bottles of red wine under her sink, letting it breathe while she sat under a steaming hot shower. She longed for some type of relief as exhaustion crept over her body, rendering her mind useless.

 *****  

_She mumbled incoherently as she felt the pressure of hands over her body, fingers softly kneading her breasts.  Warm breath caressed her neck, coinciding with the heat from a tongue gliding down her collarbone.  She breathed sharply at the touch, arching her back to press her body into the one hovering above hers._

_Soon her neck was being suckled sharply and a loud moan escaped her lips in response to the sensation.  Her fingers tangled into long strands of hair, pulling tightly against them.  She could feel a laugh bubbling from a mouth, right before it captured one of her breasts roughly.  Alexandra gasped and pulled harder on the mass of hair into her body._

_Hands descended from her arms to her sides.  One remained at her waist, attempting to keep her body still as she writhed from pleasure.  The other slowly snaked down her stomach, pausing slightly on her leg to caress her inner thigh.  Fingers slid towards her folds, gently stroking the wetness before thrusting inside her—eliciting a gasp and shriek from Alexandra._

_The fingers began to move in and out, while he massaged her clit with his thumb.  Her eyes fluttered shut, feeling the heat rising from her core.  She was thrusting her hips in tandem with his movements and she began to moan louder as his pace quickened. She could feel her orgasm approaching and she grasped the arms around her, desperate for his lips upon hers._

_She pulled him upward, only to hear a melodious voice order in a whisper, “Come for me, my darling.”_

_Alexandra’s looked up to find Loki’s dark Jade eyes staring back at her. Panicked, she attempted to remove herself from underneath him, but her body betrayed her as she hit her climax._

 Alexandra gasped for air with a start as she flew upright.  Her hands grasped around the bed and her body, trying to wash the sensations of Loki’s hands on her.  She found no trace of him, just her lone self in a long t-shirt and soft terrycloth robe.

 She turned around, seeing the half empty bottle of Merlot and wine glass on her nightstand.  Aside from the sounds of the ever-present Manhattan traffic beneath her window, the room was silent.

 She fell backward onto her pillows and stared blankly at the ceiling.  Counting the blades on her fan, she noted the cracks around the corners. Alexandra sighed; realizing her own mind was now betraying her.  Loki had invaded the little remnants of peace that had remained in her life.   


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is their second session, and Alexandra discovers where Loki’s madness has originated. With that small piece of knowledge, she attempts to use it to her advantage against him. Not violent, but emotional at points.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As is tradition, I humbly thank kitsunemiyuki25, who has the patience of a saint when it comes to working with me. Eternally grateful to you, my dear!

Alexandra’s head was beginning to right itself from the fantastic headache caused from a lack of sleep and excessive drinking.  Wrapping herself in a robe, she padded from the bathroom, deciding that it was probably time to turn her phone back on again.

Within moments of it lighting up, the phone  _pinged_  with new messages. She knew that her abrupt departure the night before created an issue. Higher ups wanted her detained and debriefed. Or chastised. She was in no mood to deal with any of them.

She looked through the list and saw the same numbers popping up.  She highlighted the last voicemail, and Agent Hill’s voice piped through the speaker.

“Dr. Tierney, while you may be actively avoiding this agency; may I remind you that you have a mission to complete.  Another session is scheduled for tonight at six-thirty.  Same conditions. To ensure your timely arrival, I will provide transportation from your home.”

Alexandra shook her head at the click on the line. There were too many questions, and not enough answers anywhere within sight.  Now, here she was, dragged back into the mess all over again.

While she was frustrated by the issues of working with Loki, she was more disconcerted by her dream the night before.  That just added another level to her already full list of concerns regarding the mission.

At no point did she want to believe that she found a psychopathic mass murderer attractive.  Alexandra was willing to chalk up her vision as a visceral response to the previous day’s events.  It was time to move on.

With a deep sigh, she sank into her couch and surveyed the chaos in front of her. She never removed the myriad of files and papers that were transferred to her at the beginning of this mission.  She knew they could become necessary at some point, and frankly, she lost track of the time.  Going against every fiber in her body, she allowed her living room to retain the mess.

Now she looked at it all and wondered if there was anything she had missed in her first go-around.  Sure, she had hours of video and reams of documents.  However, what  she needed more than anything was to find the break in Loki’s persona.

The sun was up and already spreading itself across upper Manhattan.  Alexandra noted she had completely lost track of time during her days.  Everything had begun to meld into one preparation for a session. 

Rubbing her face and realizing she needed some coffee, she walked over to her kitchen and turned on the machine.  As she stood by the counter, waiting for the blue lights to blink, she ran over the previous session in her mind.

What caused the first break?  It was obvious that it was his response to her questioning his brother’s place as king. His prior statement now was burrowing into Alexandra’s brain. 

_I was born to be a king._

What would make him believe that? He never said, he should have been king.  He was  _born_ to be a king.  

Leaving the cup on the counter, Alexandra went back into the living room and pulled up the files on Thor.  She reviewed over his statements during the battle.  There were lengthy transcripts from the moment Thor set foot into the helicarrier and was unceremoniously dropped from the sky by his brother.  She scanned through several lines of text before she saw the word Loki.  She expanded the page on her tablet:

Thor, to Banner: Have care how you speak. Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard.  And he is my brother.

Romanoff: He killed 80 people in two days.

Thor: He’s adopted.

Alexandra sat back in her chair, dumbfounded.  Again, more questions flew through her mind.  However, one piece of this gargantuan puzzle had been fitted. While Loki was Thor’s brother, they were not blood related.  While this information wouldn’t mean much in normal circumstances—when the rights to rule are in play—this was monumental.

She took a deep breath and steadied herself as she recalled the previous day’s session.  She knew his ultimate goal, his misguided views. It was simple to extract those reactions from him, but what was the underlying belief behind them? One thing was certain: Loki’s statements were calculated at every turn. Not one word should ever be considered meaningless.

As she concentrated on the word “born”, she heard the machine click into readiness from the kitchen. In an instant, the structure of their upcoming session finally appeared in front of her.  

She ripped apart the backlogs and pulled up all information on Thor and what S.H.I.E.L.D knew about his immediate family.

For the first time in almost an entire week, she had a game plan. 

*******

Alexandra stood from her chair as the procession entered her office once again.  This time, she decided on a clean white button down and a pencil length gray skirt.  While her heels always were high, she went with the tallest in her arsenal.  Anything she could do to close the distance in their heights would give her that much of an advantage.  

As the guards separated, he strode into the office—the large grin already having taken over his face and features.  The glee with which he viewed Alexandra reminded her of a cat finding a mouse immobilized in a trap. The fun was just beginning.

“Doctor! Oh, I was so unsettled last night with thoughts that we would never meet again after our last conversation.  It thrills me to see that my concerns were without merit.”

His eyes gleamed with a sickening appearance of excitement. 

Alexandra kept the smile on her face as she maintained eye contact.  Stretching out her hand, the agent to her left placed the box in her hands.  She transferred it and in one motion, threw it onto the desk.  She remained motionless, waiting for the agents to take their cue from her.  

Once the transfer of chains was in place, the agents noted the stance of both doctor and patient.  Within moments, the room emptied.

Alexandra followed her own protocol and waved towards the couch before seating herself. Loki remained standing and studied her face. Suddenly, mock concern crossed over him, and he drew back from her—a gasp escaping his lips.

“Oh, my dear, Doctor.  Was it as difficult a night for you as well? I can see the lines have deepened somewhat across your features.  Was it in your thoughts that we may never chance to see each other again? A deep concern over the possible loss of our banter?”

He seated himself, and cocked an eyebrow at her.  “Or was it the thought of my descriptions of powerlessness that created such a burning desire that wouldn’t escape your mind?”

Alexandra attempted to hold the flush from her face. She prayed it was coming off as anger rather than recognition. 

“You can continue this as much as you like Loki. Whether you spend your time trying to reign me into one of your tricks, or ranting about your perceived slights in every realm of the universe, it doesn’t matter.  You see, I am here to work with you—whether either of us likes it or not.

She sat back into the chair and folded her hands in her lap.  “So, you see how it just makes sense for us to make some attempt for this to work in both our directions.”

He rolled his eyes dramatically and rose from the couch.  He muttered under his breath, “I’d rather be inflicted with Fury’s atrocities than be subjected to this.”

Alexandra fired back, “Fine, but do me the favor of answering one question for me.  Just one. You said yesterday that you were “born” to be a king.  Please, elaborate.”  

He stopped moving and confusion filled his face, “What?”

“Elaborate? It means to add more detail to —“

He cut her off, screaming, “ _I know what it means_!”

Unaffected by his newest outburst, she sighed. “Then? Go on…”

The usual look of disdain returned and he began. 

“I was the rightful ruler of Asgard. That idiot Thor acts just as he is apt and is banished from our realm to this decomposing star.  When Odin fell into the Odinsleep, the throne passed on to me. Therefore, I am the rightful ruler of Asgard, the one who should be king.  Instead of locked away in some dungeon.”

She waited a moment and stood up from her chair, striding towards the windows. She leaned against the glass, gliding her fingertips down the cool panels. His eyes widened a bit at her, licking his lips as she moved.  For a second, she checked the radius she had mentally drawn, knowing she was out of arms reach.  

“That part I understand. I can attempt to believe that you would be owed a throne in some capacity.” She stopped and regarded him, now catching his wandering eyes and smiling in return.  

“No, Loki, you said: “born”.  However, according to what we know, Thor was the one who was almost coronated, the one primed as a ruler.”

He remained quiet, his features hardening as she spoke.  The intimidation tactics ceased for a moment and she saw his anger replaced by something else. Was it fear?

“You wouldn’t exaggerate lineage,” she continued. She finally looked at his eyes, the ones that would not remain in one place for more than a second during their last session.  He had a laser focus on something outside of the windows.  When nothing escaped his lips, she decided to go ahead with her assumptions from earlier.

“I have to believe that your family was welcoming to you. The simple truth that Thor defends you, after countless atrocities, says something to me. I’ve read the transcripts. He only wanted your safe passage back to Asgard so you could be sheltered there-held accountable for your actions. Never once did he show a want to have you hurt or tortured. In fact, he refused to touch you when asked.

"So, that leaves me with your parents. Now, I’m going on a hunch. Thor cares too deeply, too strongly to ever believe that you weren’t his brother.  So, that tells me he had a parent who raised him to care and to love. 

"That was your mother. And you were in that household as well, so I know she most likely doted on you. Maybe favored you.”

The first flinch came across Loki’s face.  He bared his teeth as they ground against each other.

“Frigga and Odin. It was your mother who gave you boys the ability to care and love each other.  The ability to protect each other, even when the other was in the wrong? When you sent the Destroyer to level that town, your brother apologized. Because he believed that somewhere in your mind it was his fault that you were so insane with hurt.

"So, you were brought up believing you were part of a family.  Your mother wouldn’t have separated you and made you feel left out-that’s why you two cared for each other so much.

"And then something happened. Something changed you in such a way that you wanted everything- and nothing would stop you.”  

She waited. It was barely perceptible, but his breaths were coming faster.  Instinctually, the psychologist stepped aside and the profiler took over. 

“So, it had to be Odin.”

“Enough.” She only saw his mouth move but an inch, but she heard him say the word, albeit it was a whisper.

Crossing her arms, she inhaled again.  The psychologist knew she was inflicting pain; the profiler knew this was the path. 

“The files describe his wars, the lines that he’s crossed.  Being in charge of all the realms makes your hands dirty. He was the one that told you your true origins, didn’t he? But it wasn’t as he had planned. Maybe he never planned at all to tell you.”

“Enough.” The word repeated louder this time by Loki, the chains rattling against his legs.  

She turned, now facing the windows.  She could see the sun setting in the distance—flanked by the bridges and the lights adorning them. 

“No, you didn’t have the nice family discussion about how you weren’t born in the family, but they will love you as if you were. They never said this would not be an issue.  No, you found out in a cruel and unusual way because it sparked your anger to blaze across several galaxies.”  

He was beginning to vibrate and for the briefest of moments, Alexandra felt something. She had seen that look hundreds of times in her office and knew what it meant. However, with the information she read, plus all the data— she had to push him at this level. Closing her eyes, she said what she had assumed—what every fiber of her thirty-something body told her.

“He was the one that took you, not for love-but for a price.”

“ _ENOUGH_!” He roared so that the walls shook and Alexandra swore that the floor moved. He raced up to her, just barely able to grab at her neck. His attempt was too close for Alexandra’s taste. She slunk backward from the force of his movement, nearly toppling over in her heels.

A stray tear flew down his eye and his teeth flashed as if he was entering battle.  “How dare you try to assume you know anything about me and who I am? Allow the information to sink into your meager brain material: I am a King, you pathetic creature! Have you not realized you are only placed on this realm to be utilized for other’s uses?” 

She could not help but flinch at his words. He was picking up on her subtleties, and she had to reverse it—fast.  Sliding back to the edge of the radius, they were now mere feet from each other. She leaned into him as she continued.

"No, Loki, you know I’m right. This is what you’ve known all along but refused to accept it!  The throne, the need to rule, it wasn’t just a belief: it was a truth! But the problem was, when you found out that you have an actual claim to a throne-you found out there was none to be had! No place to call your kingdom, no realm.  So, you went out and got yourself an army and decided to pick one our for yourself. 

"The one your chose just so happened to be the realm your brother appears to enjoy the most.”

Loki howled against the chains, attempting to rip the chains from the floor. Once again, the lights flashed inside the cuffs, preventing his magic.  

He stopped fighting, and he leveled his voice, close to a monotone, “You think you are so smart, my dear Doctor? You, who have determined who I am and how I operate? Well, let me enlighten you some more. I grew up with Thor and our lives were intertwined by being told we were both kings. Only one would be the King of Asgard.”

He scoffed and shook his head around, black hair cascading from his neck like a pendulum. 

“As if I couldn’t tell who would be the next in line.  The golden child: the strong, powerful brute that could follow in his father’s pillaging footsteps. 

"Asgard deserves a King who can do more than barrel himself through the universe and be it’s saviour in the end.  They deserve a king who can use rational judgement, and make necessary sacrifices.”

Alexandra moved away from him and sat down in her chair.  She hunched forward while rubbing her hands against her legs. 

“You’re not getting the point that you have no coherent way of rule? Plus, if I am mistaken—now that you’ve lost that army, you still owe them for their services—correct?”

He turned away from her, coattails flapping around him. 

“Believe me, my dear Doctor, when—and I mean when—the Chitauri return to Midgard, I will not be within your ranks.  In fact, I will be standing above you all as this realm disintegrates into madness.”

He held up the chains, now allowing Alexandra to clearly see the runes inscribed within the links of the cuffs. 

“However, I’ve decided that these chains will find their way around your pretty little neck when I escape. You can spend plenty of time— ages, in fact—determining if you were correct in your assumptions about exactly who I am.”  

Instead of backing down, she smiled sweetly in his direction. “Something tells me, it may just be the other way around.”

His haunting jade eyes flashed red once more, but instead of continuing with her he turned to the door and bellowed, “Guards!”

The head Agent came in, very confused as to the sound of Loki’s voice.  As he entered, Loki growled, “I am done with this woman.”

Resting comfortably in her chair, Alexandra shrugged slightly, and waved towards the doors.  The cavalry followed through to reposition Loki for transport. 

While she knew he was still upset, she couldn’t help but give him something to think about as they ended their second session. 

She called out to him, “Loki, please do have a good night’s sleep tonight. My only wish is for you to be completely rested for our chats. Maybe you should find a way to release some of that extra energy you have within you.”

Loki’s murderous glare remained on Alexandra’s body until the room was empty. As the door slammed shut, Alexandra allowed herself to collapse completely in her chair.  

She rested against the soft fabric, allowing her muscles the briefest of reprieves from the tension she had held in.  Allowing her hands to run through her caramel colored hair, she again found herself exhausted by the forty-five minutes they spent together.  

Without warning, the door opened again. This time a woman entered the office.  Resting her head in one hand, Alexandra waved weakly at her superior with the other.

“Agent Hill.”

“Doctor Tierney.”

*****************************

“Please tell me that we aren’t spending all this time and all these resources to determine a war-criminal’s ‘daddy issues’!”

Fury was seated behind his desk with Agent Hill to his right.  Again, the screens were flashing pictures and files that she couldn’t see.  Their lights only illuminated the director’s face- and the exasperated frown that covered it. However, she wasn’t backing down this time. Without regard for her own position within S.H.I.E.L.D, she flew back at Fury.

“You gave me this mission. I have no idea of the timeline, only that I have to crack him as quickly as possible. He is an anti-social personality who has only rule on his mind. You do realize that its one of the most disobliging of the personality disorders? It takes months, years even, to change their behavior and way of thinking—if you’re lucky to reach them at all. I had to start somewhere!”

She knew once again she was pushing heavy limits by the way she was speaking to the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D, but Alexandra knew she was onto something. There was a glimmer now, where she originally believed was none. Fury and Hill had gone silent, watching their Head of Human Services as she stated her case.

Lowering her tone, she stepped back from the desk. They were in another frigid office, but her cheeks were pink from the high she felt.

“The reasoning behind Loki’s actions stems from his upbringing with the belief that he could rule. He has a thought process that needs to be addressed. If I can crack that, there’s a slim chance of success here.  

“So, if you want to degrade the research I did, along with ignoring that I broke a tiny hole in his fortified walls tonight, then please—let’s make this about ‘daddy issues.”

Breathing heavily, she crossed her ams.  She felt prepared enough for the onslaught Fury was about to unleash.

Instead she was met with a chuckle; garnering confused stares from Alexandra and Hill. He wiggled a finger at her, a semblance of a smile crossing his mouth.  

“I knew you were good. We’ve seen it in your files; your reputation remains intact. Glad to have you finally on board, Doctor Tierney.” 

With that, Alexandra took her cue and grabbed her coat and briefcase.  She headed for the door as Fury called to her again.

“Consider this your new time-slot Doctor. We anticipate no issues with reaching you again, correct?”

She shook her head as she faced the two of them. The elevator doors closed immediately and began its descent. Alexandra closed her eyes and prayed for a night of peace. One without the visions of Loki which continued to trouble her mind.  

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexandra is coerced into telling Loki about how she became a S.H.I.E.L.D agent. In return, Loki gives Alexandra insight into the extent of how damaged he has become following his actions in New York. She attempts to help him see a coherent future, with dangerous results.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: This chapter has descriptions of a PTSD attack and violence. (As always, my love to kitsunemiyuki25 who deals with my ramblings and horrific grammar with a smile).

Alexandra went to sleep feeling better than she had in days. The peace was not to continue, as her mind betrayed her once again.  This time, however, she was not haunted by visions of Loki as her lover.  Tonight she was visited by another level of fear.  

She recognized the screams as explosions ricocheted around her. She could feel the heat from the fires that blazed around the group, unable to see through the choking black smoke. Faint echoes of her own wails of pain from being restrained, the sickening metallic smell of blood as it filled the air. Yelling and cursing, she saw their masked faces coming towards her, grabbing her from the chaos.  Even in her dreams, her heart raced as she felt her arms and legs immobilized, anticipating the horrors to come. 

The vision suddenly changed from the memories that haunted her to a horrific landscape of Manhattan under siege.  She couldn’t discern whether these were memories of the prior year’s attack or something new and worse.  Buildings shattered into tiny pieces as they were rocked with explosions. She could feel her hands on a concrete surface.  While she could see she was on the rooftop of a building, exactly where continued to be unknown to her.

A look at her hands caused her to gasp-blood ran down her arms from open wounds on her body.  Tiny droplets cascaded from her fingers and fell into pools at her feet. She anticipated the pain, the familiar searing heat from her injuries. She felt her mouth open again to scream, but no sounds escaped her lips.  It was then she recognized the frightening pressure around her neck; the distinct feeling of long, thin fingers tightening against her windpipe.  

Her head was forcibly tilted back and she looked into those familiar jade green eyes.  She could see his lust reflected towards her, his ecstatic glee in his wishes fulfilled.

With a growl Loki hissed in her ear, “Now, you belong to me”.  

Alexandra woke with a start, coughing violently.  His ghostly fingers still laced around her throat, cutting off her air supply. She reached over to her nightstand and  _clicked_  on her phone.  _Shit. Half past two in the morning?!_ She slammed her face into the pillow.

She stumbled out of bed towards her usual seat in the living room surrounded by her files.  She picked up the tablet that stored the digital cache of transcripts and videos of the previous attack and its aftermath. Curious to the extent of her security access, she went into the streams for the prisoner holds.  It was easy enough to find which ones held the less profile detainees.  She soon found the unmarked levels. They were locked with the highest levels of security.

_So… He must be in one of the fortified cells… Subterranean levels…_ she assumed, her nerves tingling with voyeuristic excitement. Then, she shook her head, doubting she would have been given that high of a level of clearance.

Clicking the link, her mouth dropped when the picture opened up. She squinted at the screen, finding a demure-looking room.  If Alexandra had not known better, she would have assumed she was looking at the interior of a hotel. There were comfortable furnishings, a large bed, and books on the floors. The difference being there were no windows whatsoever.  

Within the dimmed lights of the cell, she could make out a figure on the bed. He was lying face up to the ceiling, hands behind his head, hair splayed around his fingers. Loki was not in his faded armor; rather, he wore plain green slacks and a light green tunic. She could make out his lean features, now without the heavy armor.  His muscular shoulders and thighs were visible through his clothing. The camera angle projected the majority of the room from its corner position. Noting the complete silence, she was about to close the window, believing he was asleep.

It was then that his head methodically turned towards the camera, his eyes staring directly at the lens.  She gasped and drew her hand back from the computer, feeling as if she were caught in the act.  For a moment, she froze, unable to move under the glare from her screen.  

_There’s no way he knows.  It’s impossible._  She could not be certain from the angle and the clarity of the video, but she swore she could see a small smirk form on his mouth. Heart pounding, a small jolt went up the back of her neck. Alexandra closed the page, and turned off the tablet.

_It’s been a while since I’ve been so preoccupied by my client_ , she thought, her memories wandering back to Clint Barton. He was her first client directly involved with the attacks on New York. Agent Barton was considered one of the highest profile agents at that time, given specifically to Alexandra due to the nature of his kidnapping and the aftermath. 

_I remember those sessions well. Days I nearly threw him out of my office for his outright refusal to help himself._  She remembered at the start of their sessions, she tried desperately to muster any care for Clint. Now, all she had was sympathy for the man who was mentally rearranged by Loki. Clint had pushed her to her limits as a psychologist, or so she had believed.  

_Do no harm._  Resting her head against her hands she heard the words of her mentor as she ranted in frustration over Clint’s obstinate behaviors. _Put yourself aside, you will never know the extent of the chaos that reigns in your client’s mind._

Realizing how wrong she was about Clint, she focused again on Loki.  _Did I go too far last time,_ she sighed. Guilt filled her chest, thinking of how she treated him in the last session. Alexandra felt the emptiness, missing her mentor’s advice. She mentally made a note to call him to get his thoughts on this situation. 

Yawning, Alexandra grabbed a pillow and laid her head against the arm rest. Her curiosity piqued once again, but she refrained from opening the tablet. As her eyes closed, she resigned herself to the fact that they would be in each other’s presence soon enough.

**************************************

Loki refused to make any eye contact with Alexandra as he walked into the office, their third visit now beginning on a very cool front.

Alexandra decided on appearing more relaxed this time, a long cream sweater gracing her arms over gray tweed pants. She kept to her high heels, giving her an additional three inches to her height. Her blond hair swept down over her shoulders, brushing over the middle of her back.

He waited until the chains were in place before he turned away from her, his attention on the skyline outside of her windows.  Once they were alone, Alexandra waited a moment, anticipating his banter to begin.  He remained silent; his breathing was barely perceptible from his stance. 

Alexandra sighed, guilt coming back into her mind once more.  “How are you today, Loki?”

He did not move for a moment, only his head tilting towards the sound of her voice. When he did turn and look at her, his eyebrows were knit together and his mouth was slightly open. She couldn’t help herself at his expression. 

"Why do my questions confuse you? Does it surprise you that I’d care as to how you’re doing?"

He pursed his lips into a tight smile, the persona returning back into his form. “Care,” he monotoned, “I’m sure you do, my dear doctor.” 

The chains  _chimed_  around him as he sat down on the couch. For a fleeting second, she felt the heat creep across her cheeks, but she shook it off.

“We discussed some difficult things yesterday. Your family, your life—”

He cut her off, crossing his lean leg over the other. “Yes, we did have that discussion yesterday. I believe that it is time we balance some of these conversations.”

Alexandra’s head tilted to the side, uneasy at his words. She pushed forward from it, allowing him the leeway.  “All right. Go on.”

“I know so little about you, my dear Doctor Tierney. I see these lovely hangings on your wall, which must tell me something about your education. Obviously, you work for Lord Fury. However, I do not know much more than that.”

For a moment, she could not think.  _This is a dangerous road to travel,_  she mused. Alexandra remained quiet, trying to keep her eyes on him, but her breathing became shallow.

Loki continued, a lilt in his voice, “I think if I am expected to give you the information you require, I should receive some in return. Seems appropriate that you would agree to such a minuscule request.” 

His face never changed, but Alexandra could see the light in his eyes sparkling wildly. 

“Quid pro quo, doctor. Yes or no?” He uncrossed his legs and bent forward, focused directly on her face, cold and unflinching.

Alexandra sighed.   _You knew this would happen sooner or later. To give him something-anything-is treacherous,_  she feared.  _Outright refuse him, and this mission goes down the drain._  Alexandra waved her hand towards him, now crossing her own legs in response. She had no choice but to tread across this minefield.

“Go ahead, Loki.”

The grin returned as he sat back and mirrored her stance.  “Wonderful!” He clapped his hands to begin his inquisition, “However did you get involved with these heathens in the first place?”

Looking towards her degrees she folded her hands in her lap, “After I graduated college here in the city, I was accepted into medical school. It was expensive and as much as I tried, I couldn’t afford the schooling. 

“Right before I was about to drop out, I received a phone call from a recruiter from S.H.I.E.L.D.  I was recommended to them by my mentor and they saw me being a part their resources team in the future. Apparently, they liked what they saw because they supported me through my entire schooling and residency.”

He did not change anything about his visage or stance on the couch.  His silence was a subtle prompt to have Alexandra continue. She played with her fingers, trying to hold the shaking back from sight.

“I went to work here right away. I started in resources as part of mission research teams, then was promoted up to here.”  

He sat up, ready to pounce, “Oh, no my dear Doctor. There must be so much more in that story. I can only assume you have many colorful tales of your work outside these majestic headquarters. Your keen ability to analyze a situation must have been helpful in the dark crevices of this realm.”

_Fuck,_ Alexandra cursed inwardly. They were similar in picking up nuances to exploit in each other.

She plastered a smile across her face, willing to continue along with his expedition. “Yes, I have many colorful stories.  I’ve been part of many missions all over the world.”

“Similar to Agent Romanoff?”

She shook her head, “No, not in the capacity of her expertise. Agent Romanoff leads missions and goes undercover. I’m utilized after she gets that information - I know how to…” She trailed off for a moment to choose her words carefully.

“I find ways to further a mission with new information.”

The look of glee crossed his face once more. “Oh, I can imagine you did so much more than that.  But, that sounds incredibly thrilling, Doctor Tierney.  What would have made you give up the life of excitement and intrigue for this mundane existence within these four walls? What could have turned you against the world outside?” 

_Nope. We’re done now._   Her eyes narrowed on him, hitting her limit. “That’s a story for another evening, Loki. It’s now my turn.”

The grin left his face and he slunk back into the cushions, Alexandra effectively having doused his fun.

“Tell me a happy moment from your childhood.”

Without looking at her, confusion crossed his face. It became quiet in the office, to the point Alexandra could distinctly hear the air conditioning flowing through the vents.  She anticipated the explosion, the anger at her questioning his previous life. She was floored when he settled more into the couch and spoke in a low voice.

“My… “ he started and then stopped, as if the next word hit him a knife in his throat. “Frigga was my teacher in magic for many years. There were times when Thor would be off hunting, sparring, learning the finer qualities of being a brute force. It took years before they let me go along on those expeditions, so I would remain behind.

“I don’t remember how she realized that I had the ability, but when she did she was relentless in my studies. She never questioned my interest in her magical capabilities. She saw my potential and encouraged me, helped me to thrive and find confidence in myself.

“She had an ornate private library, and we would sit on her fur covered floor and practice and repeat some of the basic spells. I never imagined the things she could teach me; that she would allow me to learn.  

“At times, she knew Odin wouldn’t approve, but she continued anyway. Her belief was in my mind.  She told me I had the potential for amazing possibilities, if I could find the courage to believe in myself.”  

Silence encompassed them again. Tentatively, Alexandra asked, “So, she was your first teacher, she fostered that love of magic in you?  Even when she knew it might backfire on her?”

For the first time, a genuine smile crossed his face. “And it did, literally. More often than she would have liked.”

Alexandra responded with own true smile. She could feel him soften for that brief moment, the discussion of his mother, remembering times that he felt safe and secure. She could understand his anger towards them all, now knowing the truth.

“Loki, she is your mother.”

His eyes snapped back to attention on her, the warmth gone as quickly as it had arrived.   He enunciated every word,“She was not my mother.”

Alexandra could feel herself ache for him, for his situation.  To be in so much pain that Loki regarded the woman who had raised him as nothing less than her biological son, degraded down to nothing. Surprising herself, she leaned into him on the couch, her face reflecting his pain that always brewed underneath his surface.

“She loved you. Tell me that you do not see that? It didn’t matter to her whether you were her actual flesh and blood—in her mind you were! She loved you just as much your brother, and in some ways more than him.”

He swallowed tightly and got up from the couch. “I have no time to ruminate over the past. I must look to the future-my future.” 

“Realize the opportunity you have here Loki. If you help us, if you can give us some hope, that would be relayed to them-to her.  You could have a future in Asgard…”

He cut her off, “What future? A future where I am in chains, thrown into another delightful dungeon? Believe me, my dear doctor, Odin will ensure that his biggest mistake will be disposed of and forgotten quickly.” 

“We can help you, Loki.”

Hollow laughter escaped his lips, shaking his head. “You are so ridiculously inept, caused by your need to believe in some kind of goodness in this world.  Do you not understand what I have brought forth here? What my name means across the nine realms? 

“There is only one goal, and it is rule. Over Midgard, Asgard and the rest. I will rule. I have no other choice now, it is the only answer.”  

Alexandra stood up, moving towards him, stopping between the large couch and her desk. Momentarily, she only saw a hurt child standing in a corner. His wide eyes showed her he believed there was no home for him anywhere.

“Loki, there is a chance, a chance for your absolution. Maybe some protection here. with us. If you just realized…”

Sorrow filled his eyes, “I am a disgrace, my dear doctor. There is no absolution.”

For a moment, Alexandra was lost. She did not realize the depth of his pain. She recognized the sympathy she had for him, for his situation. It was Clint all over again: a person stripped of their identity, dragged through hell, now with no place to call their home.

Dipping her head, she moved towards the windows, closing her eyes.  “Loki…” she trailed off.

Without warning, she was slammed against the desk; the force of the impact knocking the wind out of her lungs.  As she gasped for air, she saw his eyes inches from hers, his hot breath drifting over her cheeks.

He entranced her into moving too close, giving him a perfect opportunity to attack. Now she was trapped by the sheer weight of his body against hers, his arms pinning her throat against the cold steel. His legs pressed hers down, pain shooting through her knees.

“As I was saying, doctor. There is no chance for my redemption.”

Alexandra felt the fear washing over her, her eyes rolling backwards. The familiar darkness started to take over, echoes of her screams filling her ears. For a moment, she wasn’t in Manhattan, she was now in that dark room in the desert. She groaned in agony as her stomach lurched, threatening to choke her.

“ _No, not now… please, not now_ ,” she moaned.

 Using every fiber of her being, she removed herself from the visions that threatened to swallow her once again. She opened her eyes and found Loki’s again.  His anger had dissipated with a look of confusion and concern across his face. 

She snapped back to the present, knowing she had no time before Loki continued his plan against her.  She leaned upwards and pressed her mouth against his, feeling his shock as he tilted backwards.

He did not respond immediately, and Alexandra pushed forward on him. She opened her mouth more, caressing his lips with her tongue and sighing against him.  That prompted him to move his bound hands to the edges of her waist and he lifted her up to his chest. 

Loki flicked his tongue into Alexandra’s mouth and she felt a grunt vibrate through his body. As one of her hands rested against his arm, the other grazed the top of the desk.

With a flick of her wrist, she opened the black box, which was in the same position she had ensured on every session. Grasping the pen, she pulled away from Loki, his eyes beginning to open with a sly smile across his mouth.

Using every ounce of strength she had, she pushed him away from her.  Confused for that split second, he rocked onto his heels and stumbled back on his feet.  She immediately pressed the button on the pen.

Loki slammed down to the floor as an electrical wave ran through the chains into his body.  While the jolt was only milliseconds in length, Alexandra could only imagine the strength of the voltage that just shot through his system. She backed away from him as the calvary of agents rushed into the room.

Guns were drawn against Loki as several agents quickly placed gloves on their hands. In a clockwork fashion, they refastened the chains on him, while others stood in position holding his limp body upright. 

Loki finally opened his eyes, trying to refocus them on Alexandra. Swaying on his feet, he soon recognized what had happened.  A knowing glance shot between them, as he bared his teeth in a smile. 

“Ah, my dear Doctor Tierney. We are so much more alike than I previously believed.”

Alexandra snapped towards the head agent, “I’m done, get him out of here.” They began to put Loki in order, and Alexandra grabbed her coat and bag.  She wasn’t about to wait; she needed to escape the office as soon as possible. 

She sprinted for the elevators and pressed the buttons to make them close. Resting her head against the wall, she felt how hot her skin was in contrast to the frigid interior.  Alexandra could feel the standard post-episodic headache that was beginning to collect itself in back of her head. The nausea had finally settled back down in her stomach, but she continued to feel uneasy on her feet.

As the doors slid open, Alexandra was met by two light blue eyes in front of her. She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at her luck of him being there.

“Alex! Are you okay?” David’s smile immediately left his face upon seeing her. She could only imagine what kind of a sight she was presenting.

Without regard for any decorum, she practically collapsed into his arms. “I am so glad you’re here. Can…can we go and get a drink somewhere?”

Clearly confused, but without any hesitation, David grabbed Alexandra from the elevator.  He placed his arms around her back and held her up while they walked towards the glass doors onto the busy Manhattan street.  

“There’s a place a few blocks down.  Let’s get you out of here.”

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No warnings this time around. Alexandra is reeling from Loki’s attack, but readies herself for another round with her demi-god patient.

Alexandra looked at herself in the fluorescent lights of the women’s room. “ _Fuck_ ,” she exclaimed as the pain rushed over her body and flooded her senses. Her hair was matted around her neck, coated in a thin veneer of sweat. From the harsh, stabbing pain in her head, her pupils shrunk as she watched herself in the bright reflection of the mirror.

Her lips were dry, the bile still burning her throat from when she emptied her stomach. She felt around in her bag, crossing over various lip glosses and coins, struggling to find the smooth round bottle of pain meds. The shockwaves ran down her head, trailing heat like a comet across her body.

She found the bottle, but realized her hands were shaking so violently, she couldn’t get her fingers in the opening. Slamming it against the sink, Alexandra knew she was on the verge of breaking down.

Lack of sleep, the stress of the sessions and now a full on episode, it was all too much for her. She gripped the sides of the sink, a tear finally streaking across her face. Looking at the reflection, she could see small red marks forming from where Loki had grabbed her neck.

She thrust her fist into the mirror watching as the shards of glass flew like crystal raindrops around her. With a hard shudder, she shook her head violently, clearing out her imagination.

With a weary sigh she realized,  _David. David’s still out there._

Grabbing a paper towel from the steel dispenser, she thew cold water on it and cleaned off her face. Her dampened hair started to curl at the ends, and she flipped it in front of her neck, covering the bruises as best she could.

She finally emerged from the bathroom, looking around the bar for her companion. A wave of a hand indicated his location.

Saturday night in New York City was the height of excitement, usually bringing a myriad of people to saturate the island from top to bottom. The bar that David found was facing Columbus Square, one of the newer establishments within the hotels in the area. The place had a living room-esque feel. It was covered in large couches and chairs while live music played in one of the adjoining rooms.

Alexandra walked through the crowd, the young and gorgeous patrons filling up empty spaces. Although her head would have enjoyed a place quieter than this, she was grateful for the crush of people to insulate her from curious eyes.

She headed to the small table and chairs where David was seated. There were two drinks already in front of them. Concern still reflected across his face, his mouth drawn to a line. He silently searched Alexandra’s weary eyes.

Although quiet, she heard his voice through the din of the crowds. “Guess it was a good thing I left my tablet in the office, huh?” a light laugh under his breath. Alexandra dipped her head and nodded. There was no denying she was grateful that she had someone to lean on at that moment. She hadn’t had something like that in years.

She reached out for the drink in front of her. He tentatively spoke, “It’s a gin and tonic. You look like the kind of woman who’d drink those. Or just need that level of alcohol right now.”

She laughed, her voice finally returning, the first time in a long time. “You would be correct. On both points.”

Taking a long inhale of the woodsy liquid, she reveled in it’s burn as it trailed down her throat. She could feel his eyes on her, searching Alexandra’s face. He was being extremely patient, while others would have been jumping to have her explanation.

She could imagine him in his office, his clients feeling at complete and total ease around him.

She knew he needed to hear something-anything to calm his silent questioning. Like the good little agent she was becoming again, the story formed as she spoke. “So, as you can see, the research has taken a bit of a turn.

“One of the research directors was found to be working with another agency to sell inside information. Seems there are vast companies who are always interested in S.H.I.E.L.D’s secrets, no matter how big or small. I am not sure exactly to what end, but he was caught by some higher ups. They asked me to assist on the interrogations.”

She paused while taking another drink, “Obviously, our discussion with him didn’t go well.”

His face did not change. Alexandra recognized he was actively keeping himself open so she would feel comfortable in releasing more information to him. She continued with weaving her story, making sure to pepper in details to add to the plausibility.

“Newbie agent must have forgotten to fasten his cuffs to the table properly. When the director, well, former director, didn’t like my questions, he became agitated. He broke loose and came across at me. Seems he thought I was the weakest one in the room.”

Her voice dropped as her eyes became firm, “He was wrong about that.”

_Well, at least there’s some truth in the story._

He nodded, his light brown hair shuffling a bit. They sat close to each other, not touching, but almost. The people around displayed little attention to the couple around the small table. The music became livelier and patrons beginning to sway in time with the music.

David looked at Alexandra and he put his hand on top of hers.“It must have been so frightening for you. I’m so sorry this happened.” He paused, allowing a moment to breathe, “I can only imagine how you’re feeling right now. You are safe here, with me.”

She looked at his hand, feeling the warmth, the comfort, he was giving her.  _There should be a jolt of pleasure… of intimacy with this… shouldn’t there?_  She expected the feeling of weight of his hand on hers.  _Instead… there is nothing._

She looked across at him and realized that a casual viewer would have taken them for a burgeoning relationship. This could have been a first or second date. She could enjoy hearing about his adventures outside of the office. They could be joking with each other about the secretaries and their nuances that drove everyone crazy.

Alexandra had let that part of her life disintegrate a long time ago. Superficial relationships, friendships, were easy. Small interactions, ones that gave her little stress or complaint.

_I am the epitome of damaged goods if there was ever a textbook definition._  She ran her fingers down the sides of the glass, the sweat from the ice trickling onto the table.  _I have no usefulness: broken parts in various places. All those years of therapy and self-reflection to realize I’m a lost cause._

_Who would want to manage my need for isolation, the lack of any warmth in my body for another person to enjoy? Guys have no patience for being woken up in the middle of the night from a blood curdling scream. It’s easier to be alone._

_I’ve become a wonderful Agent for S.H.I.E.L.D, but a person without a soul._

She snapped out of her reverie, moving her hands away from his she finished off her drink. A genuine smile crossed her lips, but she could not raise her head to look at him.

“Thank you for this, being here. I don’t know how it happened, but you definitely were a welcome sight when those doors opened.”

“Must have been fate tonight.” His eyes were soft and kind, but he kept his distance from her.

Taking a long look around at the people in the bar, she could feel the fogginess of the alcohol starting to kick in through her system. It was numbing the pain in her neck and head, and she welcomed it with open arms. It also signaled to Alexandra that she needed to leave.

“What do I owe you for the drink? I know what these places charge, it must be close to fifteen dollars?”

He scoffed, placing his hands on his legs, “Are you serious? Alex, it’s totally on me.”

He paused a moment, dipping his head to hers. “I know it’s probably not protocol or appropriate right now, but I would love to do this again with you. Maybe under more hospitable circumstances?”

She nodded slowly, thinking that it  _would_  be nice.

“Definitely, David. Let’s do something after I finish with this project, okay?” She never lifted her face to his as several different scenarios about why it couldn’t happen ran through her head.

“Sure, that sounds great.” He smiled that genuine smile again, making her feel at ease once more. As Alexandra began to get up, David stopped her, “Wait, I’ll walk with you. You shouldn’t have to go home alone.”

She placed her hands in front of her wringing them tightly, “That’s okay, really. I’m going to take a cab.”

Walking out of the club, she waved to him as she entered the yellow taxi. She barely stopped herself from dropping her head onto the pungent seating in the back. “Take me to 57th and 8th Avenue.”

The driver turned to look back at her, his face scrunched tightly. Her eyes snapped to him, ordering, “I know it’s around the corner, just drive.”

*****************************************

The light was hitting right against Alexandra’s face as she turned on the couch. Scrunching her face, she moved her coat from behind her head to block the light. Every muscle in her body was screaming from her position on the uncomfortable cushions. Inhaling deeply, she sat up to look around her office.

_Sad that I chose to have my muscles knocked out of alignment than go back home._

She looked up to the ceiling, spying the multitude of spy cameras that spied down on her. Part of her wanted nothing more than to wave upwards and ask the agents how their morning was so far.

Hanging her head in her hands, she tried to massage away the tension that coiled around her temples and radiated down her neck. The room was unusually warm, prompting Alexandra to laugh under her breath. No session, no need to freeze out her occupant.

She watched in front of her as the sun streamed through the slats on the windows. Within the beams of light, small particles floated around, dancing from the circulating air. She placed her hand inside the stream, watching as the light cascaded around her fingers. She was mesmerized by the patterns; it was a rare moment of peace. Alexandra realized how long it had been since she’d been without the sting of chaos reigning supreme in her life.

Almost seven full days of barely any sleep, terrifying dreams, and flashbacks to the nightmares of her past. This while concurrently working with a psychotic demi-god who seemed intent on reveling in the inferno around his feet.

_All in a week’s work._

Combined, these events made the uncomfortable furniture of her office seem the more appropriate sanctuary the previous night. Stretching out her legs, she inhaled deeply, listening to the joints in her back and shoulders  _crack_  and  _snap_  from their years of intense exertion.

Without warning, her office door opened. Alexandra was not surprised when Agent Hill walked into the office. She was, however, taken aback from the large cup of coffee in her hand. Without a word, she strode to Alexandra, placing the paper cup in front of her face.

“I suppose it’s in my file for what I drink from Starbucks?” she asked, reaching for the cup.

“Do you really want me to answer that question, Doctor Tierney?” she coolly replied before sitting in Alexandra’s chair.

Alexandra sighed, shaking her head. Her curls fell in front of her face, eyes still heavy from the events of the past twenty-four hours.

Frustration bubbled to the surface, spurred by her cumulative lack of sleep. “Let me guess, I broke protocol again? They need me in for the debrief on how I let Loki get the jump on me and attacked me in my own office?”

“Maybe I’m here to check up on you, considering what happened last night?” Hill asked in a quiet tone, surprising Alexandra. There wasn’t a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

Silence filled the room as the two women looked at each other. In another life, they could have been friendly. The started in the agency around the same time, they were approximately the same ages. However, Hill’s rise to working with Fury was pretty clear early on in her career. Alexandra made her name in the profiling unit. The two were knowledgable of the other, but this was the most they had interacted in the years they’d been with S.H.I.E.L.D.

“It’s appreciated, but unnecessary. I’ll be fine,” Alexandra lied, her voice and body feeling heavy and weighted with exhaustion.

Agent Hill sat forward in her chair. “It wasn’t your fault. You were doing what was asked of you, required for this mission. You’ve been asked to change someone who has absolutely no intention of changing.”

Alexandra took a long swig of her coffee and played with the cup in her hands. “Didn’t stop you and Fury from assigning him to me. It’ll be another failure. Only this time, the casualties will be much, much worse.”

Hill let out a long sigh. She stood up and walked towards the door. Before leaving, she turned back to Alexandra.

“You have support here, with me. Whatever you need, whenever you need it. Understand that you’re not alone in all of this.”

Alexandra nodded as Agent Hill began to leave. Just before she left, Alexandra called her back to the office.

“There is one thing that would be useful right now,” she said tentatively.

***********************************

The steel doors shut behind her with a  _clang_ , reinforced by metal brackets that looked about three inches deep. The frigid chill snaked over her body as she walked down the silent hallway. A shiver prompted her to run her arms up and down each other, attempting to keep warm.

She made it to the end, now stopping at the clear panels surrounding the cell. There was a chair in front, but she refused to use it. Alexandra stood at the edge, waiting for the reception she knew would come.

He was fidgeting with something, an object in his hands she couldn’t recognize. In slow motion, she saw the movements of his hands cease and fall to his sides. Loki swung his legs over the bed, now facing towards the glass. As she expected, the predatory smile expanded over his face, replacing the confusion and irritation.

The adversary emerged, ready and willing for another round with Alexandra. She stood against the glass as he crept towards her.

“Well, well my dear Doctor. What do I owe the pleasant surprise of your presence here in my humble abode?” He was wearing the same lightweight clothes she remembered from the security footage. Even barefoot, he still appeared several feet taller than her as he closed in on her at the barrier.

She continued to stare towards him, not backing down in her contact. His smile expanded as his eyes roamed her body.

“I see you also have some remnants of our escapade last evening,” his eyes stopping at her neck. Fingertip shaped bruises had now emerged on both sides. As he moved his arms across his chest, she could clearly see red circles around his wrists. The skin was broken in places but generally blistered. She could imagine that he would be completely healed by tomorrow, if this was how he recovered in less than a day.

“Sorry about that,” he monotoned.

He moved close enough that she could see his breath as it hit the glass. Their bodies were now separated only by a four inch thick bulletproof wall. Alexandra continued her staredown, never losing her composure.

“Or, have you returned to finish what you started last evening? Was the temptation too much for you with just our mouths? A desire to experience more with the god who has been in the depths of your mind these past few days?”

She smiled brightly, knowing he’d hit all the spots he thought would antagonize her.

She began, “Oh, Loki. You know, you were correct in saying we’re similar. You see, I would assume that even though you attempted to portray last night as a mask, that it was all a lie? There’s no way I believe that is true.

“There’s a piece, a minuscule one, that wants the retribution against those you believe have wronged you. You want the crown, but with it: the acceptance.”

He curled his lips at her, walking away. She couldn’t help but admire the way his body moved without the armor on it. He practically glided across the room, the muscles in his arms and legs highlighted by the fitted clothing he wore. He stopped at the small desk by his bed, toying with the books placed on top. He casually searched one while Alexandra spoke.

“There’s something that has connected in you that this could be a viable plan. Somewhere in the vast network of options that flow through your mind at any given point, you saw working with me as a possibility.”

The pages fell from his fingers, but his body remained still.

Keeping her eyes on him, she walked along the perimeter, towards the side he was standing.

“A possibility of returning to Asgard, and to your mother and brother?”

He reversed on her, eyes glaring. Before he spoke, she threw up her hands defensively.

“Wait!” she yelled, “Hear me out, let me explain, how I know this.”

He moved back towards the glass once more, nose flared, eyes wild. He stopped at the edge, glaring down at her.   
  
“I know this. It was clear to me this morning as I looked around my office.”

Her voice dropped—low and slow, as if she was reciting a verse of prose. “You could have easily  _snapped_  my neck,  _crushed_  my windpipe. It would have been simple enough, and this whole charade would have been over.”

It was a flash, a microsecond—but a hint of softness went into his eyes. Instantly, it was gone.  _Oh, but it was there, and I saw it._

“Think about that tonight. I’ll be seeing you tomorrow.”

His voice echoed behind her, as she walked away. His tone was laced with mock sadness and regret, “Why, Doctor Tierney. No session for me this evening? I hope it was not the events of our last encounter to bring about this decision.”

She turned back to him, watching as he punctuated the speech with a flick of his tongue across his teeth. “Whatever will I do with myself this evening?”

“Get your rest, Loki,” she smiled with a wink. “We shall meet again tomorrow.”

The clack of her heels echoed throughout the hallway as she pulled the massive steel door open once again. She turned back again to find him peering at her from inside the cell, still grinning, ever the cat ready to pounce.

“Sleep well, Loki.”

His voice echoed back to her as the door closed, “As to you, my dear doctor. As to you.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexandra looks for help in understanding how to manage Loki, and some light is shed on her work with Agent Barton. Alexandra ends up with a different approach to her favorite demigod patient— with interesting results. 
> 
> kitsunemiyuki25 gets a gold BETA star and all of my love for listening to my complaints and frustration with this chapter. She also deserves a medal for managing my horrendously awful grammar.

She could have been mistaken for a statue in the dead calm of her office. Eyes closed, arms still, the only movement from her chest rising and falling. Her breaths were slow and methodical, paced against an internal count in her mind.  Alexandra did this several times, feeling her chest rise and fall with each swirl of the air around her.  The steel arms of her chair were frigid from the declining temperatures of the room, and struggled to retain the heat of her fingers.  Alexandra failed to realize that they had lost their sensitivity.

With one last breath, she opened her eyes. Alexandra did not need a clock to tell her the present time.  Orange rays shone through the panels on the windows, a familiar angle and strength.  _I’ve been watching those silhouettes for a week now,  They’ve been my silent companions. Seen and heard it all— along with my friends in the control room somewhere in this building._

The relaxation techniques were a balm, a band-aid to keep her steady for what was to come. The resounding  _clank_  from the hallway indicated her patient was on his way into the office.  Taking one last long breath in and out, Alexandra stood up and smoothed out her skirt.  Once again, she decided on height over comfort in her choice of footwear. It was clear she needed all the tricks in her arsenal for this next session.

The cavalry entered her office and she focused not on her patient, but the head agent in charge of today’s transfer.  He walked into the office with the usual black box outstretched towards Alexandra.  The group prepared to unhook Loki and move the chains to the position at the floor.

She refused the box and the agent paused, confused by her actions.  The rest of the guards continued to move but their focus was on making sure their prisoner got to his position in a hurry.

“Gentlemen,” she said, in a firm but raised tone.  

Every agent in the room ceased their actions, and out of the corner of her vision, she could see Loki’s eyebrow perk in anticipation.

“Remove my patient’s chains, please.”

**************************

Several hours prior, Alexandra was waiting in the cozy coffee shop on 57th, playing with the ceramic mug in front of her. She was lost in thought when her mentor appeared in her field of vision. With a smile, she stood to greet him. She nearly lost her breath by the force of the embrace he gave in response.

Dr. Stephen Cherowski was a member of Hunter College’s Psychology department for over two decades.  He was renowned for his work in Cognitive-Behavioral Theory as well as its practical application for private practice. CBT has become one of the foremost approaches in psychotherapy to date, second behind psychoanalytic theory.  

Stephen also developed practical uses for his work, which have been utilized extensively by the Behavioral Sciences Unit at S.H.I.E.L.D.  It’s why her current employer had utilized him outside of academia. He had been on their security payroll almost as long as he had been teaching.

After more coffee arrived, Stephen’s voice dropped while he scanned her features.  

“Alexandra, I can’t lie: you don’t look well.  I was concerned when I got your message that you needed to see me immediately.” His eyes were wide and belied his fears. “I’m not happy to say I was right.  Your eyes, your face: everything is gaunt on you.”

He paused, leaning forward on the table, “Have you been sleeping or eating properly? You know that’s a perfect cocktail for you to start having attacks again.”

Alexandra could only crack a small smile while shaking her head.  

“No. I haven’t. It’s why I called you, Stephen. I’m at a loss.” She ran her hands through her hair while a sigh flowed at her lips.  “I’m working with a client that is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.”

He dipped his head while running his hand behind his neck, “Never thought I’d hear that from you again.”  

When confusion ran across her face he continued, “Barton.  You always said he was the most oppositional patient you’d come across in practice.”

She closed her eyes, the sounds of utensils clinking against the porcelain flatware in the shop.  The quiet chatter was intermittently punctuated by the  _hiss_  of steam from the large gold machines behind the counter.  She took a deep breath before meeting his grayish blue eyes once more.

“No, Stephen, this is worse. It’s so much worse, on multiple levels.” She waited a moment, knowing the conversation was being recorded in one way or another.  Whether it was through an illegal tap through the microphones on their cells, or a satellite link through the cafe’s security, they were being monitored. She chose her words carefully, confident her mentor would follow along.

“This case, the patient? He’s related to the events of last year.  In fact, I’d say he was instrumental in the welcoming committee for our friends who came to visit.”  She glanced upwards to find Stephen nodding his head sagely.

Confident, she continued,  “Apparently he’s on that committee again. My employer believes the party could be starting soon, maybe imminently.”  

Stephen sat back and silence filled the table once again.  She waited as the news sank into her mentor’s thoughts, the possible scenarios running through his mind.

She picked up her coffee and inhaled the scent of cinnamon before drinking.  The heat on the surface of the mug was just barely enough to warm up her body.  Alexandra felt her body tighten, rubbing her arms for contact.  _I wish the weather would finally break; this chill in the air just accentuates my foul mood._

Scratching his upper lip, he spoke in a hushed voice.  “I believe, the type of person you are working with is actually quite similar to Barton.  Both of them have had experiences that have shaped their thoughts into what is their world, an understanding of what is expected of them.  

“Now, while your former client was able to eventually reflect on his actions, he struggled with the fact he lost control in that situation. Isn’t that correct?”  Alexandra nodded quickly before he continued.

“It’s all about control for individuals with this personality disorder. The loss of it causes a disruption in their thoughts.  They need to have the pieces in place, the proverbial chessboard set with their present and future moves.  

“Take that away and they will find ways to regain that control.  Which can be outwardly demonstrative like your present client or internally destructive in the terms your former one.”

Alexandra felt her head trying to grasp the concept of what Stephen was implying.  It made sense, however, there was the practical side that needed to be addressed.

“That’s fine, but how would that work? I’m still working under S.H.I.E.L.D’s parameters.”

“Well, what was the catalyst for Barton?”

Like a flash, it came crashing back in a flood of images and sensations.  She could feel the intense gusts of air as they swirled and whipped her body.  Her hair was wild and flowing around her, requiring consistent management of the strands in her face.

_“What exactly are we doing here, Doc?”_

_“We’re doing something different today, Agent Barton.  Letting you out of your cage, so to speak.”_

_Standing on the rooftop of the S.H.I.E.L.D building put them in the vicinity of one hundred stories above the ground.  Alexandra was more than grateful she was not afraid of heights. The view onto the East River to beyond was jaw-dropping and stomach-turning combined._

_She looked at her patient as he ventured to the edge of the roof, unaffected by the lack of a barrier off the side. Placing his foot on the small ledge, she could see his eyes close as he inhaled deeply._

_Alexandra moved closer, standing adjacent to Barton’s body.  It was late August, making the air warm and light, but still daunting to manage.  However, Barton appeared to be listening, practically synchronizing with the air around him._

_“How do you feel right now?” she asked as she closed in on him._

_“Like a million bucks, Doc.  Now, do you want to set up a nest in the corner over there? I’ll just live on the top of the building for the rest of my life.”_

_Crossing her arms and facing the sun, she asked, “Tell me what you’re thinking right now. What is going through your head?”_

_He sighed, letting his arms fall at his sides. Clint always looked distraught if there was nothing in his hands._

_“That this is where I belong.  I don’t belong in some confined entrapment, being held down and forced within boundaries.  I don’t belong to any team. I need to be on my own.”_

_“Why?“_

_The anger spilled over, as it had done so many times in their past sessions. “Because my ability to work, to do what I’ve done my WHOLE LIFE was taken away from me! I never had a chance. That thing took everything: my life, my purpose.  My partner. What purpose do I serve anymore?”_

_As quietly as she could, with the force of the wind in her ears, she conceded, “Maybe those things have changed. That’s true. Do you still have your skills? Do you still have the instinct?”_

_Leaning towards his ear she pointed ahead of them, “If I told you to hit the far corner of that building over there, think you could do it?”_

_"Without question."_

_She went behind a ventilation system and pulled out a bow and quiver and handed them to him._

_Alexandra could see his face perk at the sight of his favorite instruments. She wondered when the last time he was allowed to have the smooth, curved metal in his hands. While he twisted an arrow in his fingers, she pointed to the far corner of 30 Rock._

_"Got it?"_

_Inhaling sharply, he took two beats before aligning the bow in his sight and setting it free. There was a faint whistle as it left their immediate sights. It hit the corner perfectly, as she expected._

_Clint and Alexandra both stood on the sun-soaked roof with smiles on their faces. Alexandra asked, “Now what are you thinking?”_

_"I’m not. It’s silent."_

_She nodded, “Then here is where you’ll start.”_

Her mentor put his hands on the table, framing his mug and saucer.  “So, he required not only a recalibration in his frame of mind but the ability to see the potential of his actions. Think you can do the same with the new patient?”

She paused for a moment.  “I might have an idea.”

****************************

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.  Take my patient’s chains off of him.” Without looking, Alexandra could feel the smirk on Loki’s face as he watched this tug of war ensue around him.

“Doctor Tierney—” the agent began before Alexandra cut him off.

“I do not know how long you’ve been here Agent, but let me explain something.  Do you see this badge? Do you see the level it says? Its Level Nine.  Didn’t know they went that far up, did you?  

“If I say I want the chains off, it means they come off. You recognize who you’re walking into this office every day? Do you think I’m just some commonplace lay person who he comes to share some tea with on a regular basis?

“Take them off before I call upstairs and have every single one of you transferred to the southern tip of the Arctic. I heard they’re examining the effects of ice on human tissue.”

She held her breath as the dozen agents paused for a response from the Nondescript-Agent-In-Charge. The only sound was of the chains  _clinking_  quietly against Loki’s body as he was in a reprieve from his imprisonment.

The head agent’s eyes had narrowed on Alexandra, ignoring the men in his company. Each young, inexperienced agent silently pleaded for him to make the right decision.

Lips curled, he spat, “It’s your party, Doctor. Have it your way.”

Within moments, Loki was unhindered and the agents fled the room like rats on a sinking ship. For a moment, a wave of fear ran down Alexandra’s spine.  _Oh well, if it’s all going to end like this, at least I did it in my favorite Ferragamo’s._

She inhaled sharply as she faced Loki.  He was rubbing his wrists, watching Alexandra closely.  She could see that the broken skin from the previous day had completely healed.  Wishing hers could do the same, she ran her fingers over the collar of her chunky turtleneck.

“Well, my dear Doctor Tierney. I am intrigued by this stunning development.  Taking off my restraints is quite a risk.”

His voice dropped to almost a growl, “Might I be so bold as to assume you are desiring of my touch against your skin once again?” He watched her from one end of the couch, arms crossed.  Alexandra moved to the opposite end, a smirk on her lips.

Ignoring his bait, she smiled. “Loki, did you forget your homework last night?” Alexandra wagged her finger at him like a schoolteacher. “I’m willing to let that slide. Temporarily.”

Rolling his eyes, he threw his hands behind his back and gazed out the windows.  She watched him carefully, realizing every minute of this hour was to be tenuous, at best.

“How does it feel with the chains removed, Loki?”

“Natural.”  

She waited a beat before she said, “Continue with that statement.”

He snapped his head towards her and sneered, “Would you like me to describe the sensations on my skin? ‘I lament the loss of the cool, unforgiving steel across my pained wrists.  The restraints removed, I find myself unencumbered in my movements; relishing the ability to outstretch my arms to their fullest lengths’?”

She shook her head in disappointment, punctuated with a sharp inhale through her teeth.  “Not as good as the Stuttgart speech, I’m afraid. Although this was very well put together, I’d give it average marks.”

Pacing around the couch so they were parallel to the windows, she continued, “No, I meant for you to utilize your hands for something that feels natural to you.”

Loki’s eyebrow lifted and a grin flashed at the corners of his mouth. For a brief moment, Alexandra could swear her face flashed red. She inhaled deeply and moved further away from his body.

“I see,” he murmured, “Shall I begin with something simple?”

Alexandra leaned her shoulder against the cold glass panel and waved her hand towards him.  Immediately she wrapped her arms around herself.  Her body’s shaking was clearly visible and she was reluctant to give Loki confirmation of her fears.  

He walked over to her desk and took three pens from the steel container.  Standing them upright, they began to levitate until they were eye level to Alexandra.  She found herself drawn to them, noticing the tiny movements that piqued her curiosity.

Each of the three pens rotated methodically in the same direction.  Closing in, she watched as they began to change colors, starting with a lush green at the bottom. The colors gradually rose to the tip of each cap and with a small flash, each one bloomed outwards into long pink petals.  

Mesmerized, she whispered, “It’s beautiful.” She didn’t notice Loki’s proximity to her body, but was able to hold the jump in her skin when he spoke.

“Transformation spell.  One of the first Frigga taught me.” On the last syllable, the flowers changed back into pens and clinked against the desk.  Loki glided to the opposite side of the room, utilizing his ability to move freely around the open space.

“What would you say was the spell she was most interested in teaching you? The one that made her proud when you found mastery?”

He had moved to her chair, his long fingers dragging across the metal backing.  “Projection.  It takes years to develop and is difficult to maintain. With proper focus and stamina can be done quite effectively.”

“Could you manage that in this room?” she asked.

A low laugh hissed across his lips, “My dear Doctor, are you asking me to openly disappear and reappear? You are not concerned I’ll project myself onto the roof of this wretched building?”

Looking him straight in his eyes, she smiled. “I trust you, Loki.”

He laughed louder this time, “Ah, Doctor Tierney, you never cease to amaze me.”

_You think I do not realize it, but I do, Loki. You’re exactly where you want to be in your master plan. Enjoy the comfortable feeling that you have betwitched me. This time, at least._

“It might be more effective for you to view this while in the center of the room.” Alexandra had moved into a protected corner. She was flanked by the desk in case she had to divert her body and utilize a barricade on him. He was putting her in open territory- a smart move to throw her off her guard.

Removing the caution from her thoughts, she walked between her chair and the couch, now only a few feet away from him.  He paced around until they were facing each other. Loki still towered over her, his eyes peering down at her from his nose. The cool air swirled around them, and Alexandra noticed how his skin was alabaster in color-smooth like marble.

“Don’t blink,” he whispered through his cat-like smile.

She held her breath and he was gone. There were no sounds; no rustling, or even breathing to indicate where he had moved in the room. She should have been scared. Not surprisingly, Alexandra felt less fear and more excitement in that moment.

Utilizing the skills of understanding space and it’s ebb and flow in energy, Alexandra waited for the moment. The shift would occur eventually. She just had to wait.

Alexandra felt the change behind her and to the right. She turned and saw Loki’s eyes glowing in the dark corner of the room. As his eyes grew closer, his body reappeared. He winked at her while returning to her side, his large stature crossing the distance easily.

“Very good, my dear Doctor. Most wouldn’t pick up on my presence the first time around. I can see you are quite the seasoned professional.”

“It’s impressive. When your—Frigga realized that you had mastered this skill. What was her reaction?”

His face fell as he looked over her shoulders, the eye contact removed as he paced around the desk.

“She was proud of me. Quite proud of that my mastery of that spell. She regretted it at times. More than once she had to explain why there were a dozen of me in the castle at the same time. The majority of them causing havoc anywhere they roamed.”

“So you pushed those limits?”

“Always. It’s not in my nature to be complacent.”

She hummed under her breath, “So, if the chance was given to you to show her you were worth everything she taught you, everything that has been given to you—do you not believe she’d welcome you back?”

That instigated him to reaction, his eyes flashing as he turned back to her.

“She is not my family! At what point will you see that truth in your meager mind?”

Alexandra lost her patience, sick of hearing his utter disdain for someone she knew was not just a pressure point, but the one person he truly loved.

“I see a relationship that was so much more than what you’ve degraded it to become! That is what I am trying to make you understand! Why would she do all of this, for as long as she did, while you believed you were her son?

“She taught you skills, gave you this gift, with the full knowledge you were not her blood or from her own body! She showed you something that she realized had no approval, and could have caused a rift in her other relationships.

He was shaking his head, lips curled in anger. His lithe fingers twitched behind him as he held them in place at the small of his back.

“She saw your potential to shine against the supernova that is your brother.

“You may say that I have no basis to stand, but I know— _I know_ , she never brought you to a place of inferiority. In fact, I’d venture she gave you this knowledge and power to make you see that you are equal to your brother.

“Your mother was and will always be your anchor. The sooner you make that connection and stop raging against her love, I can guarantee this existence of yours will become much more pleasant.”

Alexandra was moving around the room, the two following each other in a dance of position.

She flung out her arms while scoffing, “Love is not being complacent. Love is being able to accept someone else for who they are, knowing that the love you receive makes you whole.

“Stop the reasoning that you don’t belong and this absurd belief you need a home to call your own. You do not need to rule so you can have that security.”

She stopped moving, head high against his gaze. “Your rage is blinding you from seeing you have it already.”

Alexandra chest rose and fell quickly as she attempted to steady her breath. At the end of their waltz, Loki remained a few feet in front of her. The movement of his hands indicated they were shaking. He held them close together, picking at the skin on his left hand.

“Loki, whatever your endgame, wherever you believe it will take you—it will only end up pulling you farther away from the possibility of peace in your lifetime. You should take care to remember that you have a mother that will accept you with open arms when you return.

“No matter how much of the universe you destroy in the process.”

Alexandra floated past him to sit in her chair, but she was jerked backwards. Loki’s hand circled her wrist. She turned to look at him, and couldn’t hold back the fear in her eyes. She flinched at the sensation, akin to ice wrapped around her skin.

She was shocked to see the lowered gaze, his pursed lips. His brow was tight as he attempted to speak. He closed his mouth again, never losing his gaze upon Alexandra

_It’s not real. He’s not real. Do not fall for his lies this time around._

As calmly as she could, through the shaking in her arms, Alexandra lifted her hand away from Loki. She waited for a split second. She anticipated the reaction to her rejection, her body bracing for some type of impact. Instead, he walked away from her and to the windows once more.

“As you say, my dear Doctor. So sure in your perceptions, you are. So clear and understanding of this entire situation, aren’t you?”

Her voice low and weakened, she acquiesced, “You’re right. There is no way for me to determine if I am correct. However, your course now will never satisfy you. You’ll forever be searching to fulfill a need that will never be replaced.”

Collapsing in her chair, Alexandra could not help the sigh that escaped her lips. She ran her hands through her scalp, wanting nothing more than a drink and her bed. When she opened her eyes again, his feet were directly in front of hers.

She looked up to meet his cold stare. Loki muttered, “Would you say that’s why I didn’t end you in our last session, my dear Doctor? You fulfill one of my needs?”

She shook her head. “That was your homework. Only you can answer that, Loki.”

The door opened and Loki’s chain gang re-entered. This time, there was no purpose or strength in their presence. Standing in the room, they looked almost literally, petrified.

“I suppose this is my cue, my dear Doctor Tierney. I’ll bid you adieu.”

With no hesitation, he walked to the agents and held out his hands to be cuffed. She never saw a group of men work faster—even after the session she was attacked.

It was in that moment, she knew. Loki’s machinations were far wider than she had ever imagined.    
    


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexandra makes an interesting realization regarding Loki’s feelings for her and she uses it to her advantage. Loki and Alexandra realize that their somewhat comfortable situation is about to dramatically change.

Alexandra strolled through the glass doors at S.H.I.E.L.D, focusing on the elevators, as always. She entered at her usual time of ten past six, a small victory in her favor. While every day of the past week had been nothing close to normal, she wondered if she was finally falling into a strange and, quite frankly, frightening routine.

She would be awake, late into the night, pacing her apartment. Her evenings spent replaying every single moment of the session she had just spent with Loki. The transcripts were usually within her email bank by the time the wine had begun to breathe on her counter.  _Amazing efficiency within those tightly fibered walls at S.H.I.E.L.D,_  she mused.

During that time, Alexandra would break down each statement Loki made. Taking his responses to her questions, she would match them with the movements and expressions on the video. Each session could have up to twenty pages of her own personal notes. It was an in an attempt to pinpoint where his mind was moving towards and his ultimate purpose.

She realized she was working against a clock with a person whose mind was closer to a machine than a muscle. He had multiple levels of planning that branched in ways that were impossible for Alexandra to ascertain their trajectory. With every new session, there were far more outcomes than she could determine. She would need to be a mathematician before a psychologist to understand Loki’s endgame.

One thing was certain: Loki was _exactly where he wanted_. His four walls housed deep below the S.H.I.E.L.D site was his starting point for whatever was to come in the near future. That point never left the forefront of Alexandra’s mind.

Her routine had been shattered by this turn of events and it had increased her anxiety. Conversely, the increase of anxiety caused her to lose more and more of the routines that she needed to remain calm. The cyclical spiral that she was currently embedded would have been warning enough for her to stop the patterns. However, she knew that at any moment, things could fall apart around them. If (hopefully, not when) that happened, she would have failed in her mission.

Her sleep schedule being completely thrown, she was now in bed until the early afternoon. Gone were the mornings of her favorite run down through the park, a leisurely cup of coffee before beginning her day. She found herself almost barricaded within her apartment, answering her phone to no one.

David had called her a few times over the past two days to check in on her and see how she was doing.  _It’s a shame I feel absolutely nothing for him,_  she thought.  _He’d probably be a nice person to have in my life. Even someone to share my bed with on a regular basis._

She realized when the last time she felt a small surge of anything through her body remotely within the confines of arousal. The fact that the subject of that moment had his hands around her neck just prior was a good enough reason to let those thoughts fade in her memory.

As the elevator doors opened onto her floor, Alexandra sensed a change. _Where is everyone? The usual parade of inexperienced Agents following their superiors around? Where are the Level 3s and 4s trying to edge each other out in a pissing game of who is in charge?_

She found two agents at the end of the hallway, each nose deep in their phones. Staring at the both of them, she awaited a response as to the limited presence that evening.

She silently waited for ten seconds before one finally noticed her presence.

“Oh, um, yeah, Dr. Tierney,” one said, scrambling to his feet. “There’s something going on in Brooklyn that needed backup. A bunch of the Agents were pulled to check on the electricity grids in the area since one is a mainline out to New Jersey.”

Her eyebrow raised but she knew it was a losing battle to ask these babies for more information. Ignoring them, she went into her office to prepare for the session. Even if the majority of her routines were to be broken, at least she could have the rituals she enjoyed before this mission began.

She placed her jacket and bag on the desk, grabbing her pen and paper. Sitting in her chair, she began the breathing exercises to allow her mind to focus on the task at hand.  _In for five, out for seven._  She repeated that for as long as she could remember. At the end of a few rounds, she focused her sights straight ahead.

Looking towards the large paneled windows, she frowned at the darkened skies above Manhattan. A brief warmth in the morning was preempted by rains in the afternoon. The temperatures had drastically dropped through the daytime. The clouds were still circling around the West Side, threatening to rain down again at any moment.

The far away  _chime_  near the elevators signaled the beginning of the dance. Akin to a Pavlovian dog, Alexandra stood from her chair and smoothed out her skirt. The clanging increased in its crescendo down the hall. Through the open door she could see the chests of the young Agents begin to rise and fall at a rapid rate. There was at least half of the usual presence in the cavalry this evening.

Her not-so-favorite Agent from the night before walked in first, eyes solely on Alexandra’s head. As the rest of his team went to secure Loki into the floor, she threw up her hands in frustration.

“I told you the last time, he’s not to be restrained during our sessions.”

The self-righteous smile crossed the Agent’s lips. “I was so hoping you would bring that up, Dr. Tierney.” Shoving a paper into Alexandra’s hands, he stepped backward, arms lightly resting upon one another.

Alexandra tore into the envelope and read the memo that was addressed to her as quickly as she could. As her eyes ran across the page, she could feel the aggravation flow from the top of her scalp and fire down the back of her neck.

**_Internal Memorandum from N. Fury, Director and Head of Communications_ **   
**_Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division_ **

**_CLASSIFIED INFORMATION, TO BE DESTROYED AFTER CONTACT_ **

_Dr. Tierney,_

_It is not in your purview to allow a war criminal from several galaxies to be given the freedom to move about your office unrestrained. The catastrophic damage would not be contained within this region, and could prompt responses from several realms. Some of these areas are ones we have not yet had first contact._

_Furthermore, you are not allowed to threaten Agents with removal from their positions and reassignment to isolated countries. This ability remains under the duties of the Director and Agent Hill._

_You are still classified as a Level 7 Agent. However, further continuance at this Level may be curtailed if you remain obstinate against the rules and regulations by the Agency you are employed._

_N. Fury_

_cc: M. Hill_

Alexandra attempted to keep her eye roll to herself and not have him gain any more satisfaction from her written tongue lashing. Taking the letter, she tossed it onto her desk and crossed her arms as they finished their job. The Agent placed the black box onto a side table, and collected the master key before leaving.

She could feel her skin rubbing against her clothes, giving her the sensation of sandpaper. Being this agitated wasn’t how she wanted to begin a session.

Once the door closed and they were alone, Alexandra inhaled to her limit to fill her lungs in an attempt to focus. Turning to Loki, she found him in a standing position, her body firmly in his eyesight.

“How are you today, Loki?”

He held up his chains to his chest and tilted his head. “ _Disappointed_.”

Alexandra nodded in agreement with him and sat down in her seat. Without having to wave him forward, Loki turned and sank into the cushions across from her. Slightly stunned by his compliance for the first time, she remained silent for a moment longer. Before she could speak, Loki jumped into the conversation.

“Doctor Tierney, I believe it’s only right that I must ask you. Do you think of me when we are apart?”

Alexandra met his eyes for the first time this day, searching for the bait. She expected to see the smirk on his face or the slight raise to his eyebrow. Finding neither, she decided to answer his question honestly, to a degree.

“Of course, Loki. I would not insult your intelligence by making you believe that this isn’t the priority in my life at the moment.”

He raced in his next question before she could continue, “So, my assumptions that you are not betrothed are correct. You’d find priority there, I assume, my dear Doctor?”

 _Always asking questions when you know the answers._  “That would be correct, Loki.” Running with his line of questioning, she used a long-forgotten tactic. She brushed a hand against her chest, just briefly touching below her collarbone. She methodically crossed her legs in front of him, her skirt moving upwards. Grabbing her pen, she ran her opposite hand up her thigh.  

“Same for you, I would garner? You have no spouse pinning away for you across the realms? No Princess keeping the fires burning in the hearth, awaiting your return?”

His wandering eyes and barely contained smile left his face as he regarded Alexandra with no response. She went forward with this line of questioning, Loki having opened the door.

“Would that be something you would want? Someone that you could share your home? Someone who would be the comfort in your life?”

He scoffed, turning from her, “It’s inconsequential, unnecessary. What would the purpose be in that?”

“To have someone who you would love and share your life, your thoughts and dreams. To share your fears?”

He bent forward towards her, his upper lip curling, “As I said, it is unnecessary. I have no need to be chained to another in some ridiculous fashion, finding myself locked from my ultimate goals.” He rattled the restraints in front of him to prove his point.

“That is how you view love?” she asked, incredulously. “Is that what you believe? That by having another person in your life, it makes you fixed and vulnerable?”  
  
Crossing a leg over the other, he sat back into the cushions, “Tell me that you do not see that yourself! You are a prime example of someone who finds companionship to be a burden.”

“No, that isn’t the case, and we’re not talking about me, Loki.” Alexandra’s words spilled out in rapid fire, the unease growing in her abdomen.

“Yes, yes we are, Doctor Tierney. You purport to me that I should be willing to welcome others into my emotions, into my heart as it were. Well, I believe that you and I both know that neither one of us are fit to be in any position to allow that to happen.

“Sentiment. A simpleton’s term for that which we both know is a crutch in this life.”

For a moment neither of them spoke. The only sounds being the faint  _rattling_  of his chains against his legs, her shoes grazing against the cheap carpeting underfoot.

“Your mother didn’t teach you that.” His eye roll accompanied her statement. When no outburst followed, Alexandra pushed forward.

“Your mother was strong, against the constraints of her world. She was a ruler, a teacher and most importantly, your family.

“She loved you. She loved you and Thor.” Loki’s eyes hit the floor, examining a scuff on the top of his shoe. Alexandra leaned forward in her seat, dipping her head in an attempt to catch his field of vision. She wanted his Jade eyes meet with her own.

“Tell me, while you were growing up in Asgard, that you didn’t adore her. That under her love you didn’t thrive and grow.” Her question was met with silence.

“Fine, then how do you envision her now? How would categorize your mother, Loki?”

The gold accents on his chest sparkled rhythmically as they moved up and down. His eyes refused to remain in one place, scanning the walls behind her.

His voice low but firm, he stated, “She is irrelevant.” He ended the statement as he stood from the couch, a groan eliciting from the frame as it was relieved from his weight. He turned away from Alexandra, facing the darkened skies around them. It appeared that a thunderstorm was imminent with every passing minute.

Alexandra’s frustration peaked and she jumped from her seat to march towards him. When she met his elbow, he visibly reacted at the closeness of the two of them. It was clear he had not expected her in such proximity.

“No matter how many times you tell me you do not care for your mother and state that she was ‘irrelevant’…” Alexandra trailed off, biting her upper lip before finishing.

It was a brief second when their eyes met once more, a moment before she pulled away. Alexandra sensed the flush on her neck that was spreading to her cheeks.

“There is a part of you that understands love and kindness,” she mumbled.

Tapping her foot against the floor, there was a faint bounce in her step before moving away from him again.

The wind picked up, strong enough to rattle the windows of the S.H.I.E.L.D building. Both Loki and Alexandra picked up the noise, watching the clouds coast across the horizon. Leaves and debris flew threw the air, smacking against the glass with a  _clap_.

“Perhaps, you are correct.”

Alexandra flinched, not expecting to hear his voice unprompted.

He continued, “There is a fine line between understanding and acceptance.”

Alexandra closed her eyes, trying to center herself before speaking again. “Then help me, help us. I can get you to a place of acceptance but it’s nothing without your knowledge of what is to come”

The sneer returned to his face, an eyebrow raised in her direction.

“You can’t even remove my chains, my dear Doctor. Tell me what you could possibly do to grant my freedom.”

Bravado returned to her body as she puffed out her chest, hands across her hips, “I got them off once. Something tells me I’m smart enough to get them removed again.”

She paused her words, methodically moving her hips as she got closer to him.

“If it was something I desired to accomplish, of course.”

A mischievous look passed over Loki’s eyes, a hint of recognition.

“Hmm. I believe you are correct. Desire is a grand motivator; makes things much more fun. Would you agree, my dear Doctor Tierney?”

Instinct took over, and a smile ran across her mouth, small but subtle.

“So, if you know that is the case, then maybe we should work together. I can find ways to make this a reciprocal relationship.”

She ran her fingers up one of her arms resting right underneath her shoulder.

Licking his lips, he bared his teeth before speaking, “Well, that is interesting. What would you…”

Loki went silent, a frown crossing against his brow. He turned towards the windows again, mouth opening enough so Alexandra could see the edges of his teeth. She followed his gaze to the skyline, attempting to determine what caught his attention.

It was faint at first, only the briefest of an orange flash in the far off distance. A whistling sound increased in pitch, ringing through the skies. The colors contrasted against the black and gray in her sights. Alexandra instinctively moved towards the windows, her hand reaching towards the glass.

At was then she saw the orange light moving closer, moving directly towards them. In that moment, she felt her eyes dilate as her body froze. Loki audibly took a sharp intake of breath before his voice boomed around them. His words registered right before she could make out the red embedded in the orange tail of the missile.

_“GET DOWN!”_

With a sharp yank on her arm, Alexandra was thrown to the floor, in front of the couches. As Loki’s body fell on top of her, the explosion ricocheted around them; glass and heat cascading around their bodies.

She found herself rolling forward from the force of the impact. Instantly, the alarm system went into effect, and Alexandra heard the sirens whine across the levels. She was about to rise to her feet in an attempt to move towards the exit when one of the beams slammed down next to her. Flames and embers showered on top of her body as she collapsed in the doorway to the outer office.

Alexandra cursed as she rolled to put out the fire on her clothing, the smell of burning metal and plastic filling the air. A gust of wind flowed through the hollowed out windows, fueling the fire to raise even higher against the walls. In between the haze and the smoke, she could see the doors opening and the Agents flying in.

She was able to get onto her feet momentarily, wobbling precariously in her shoes. She could see her hands, bloodied and black, as she signaled for their attention. As Alexandra attempted to scream for help, her heart stopped at the sound of whistling once more.

“Doctor! Doctor Tier-“ was all the head Agent could say before the second blast hit the building.

Two Agents were hurtled forward towards Alexandra and she flew back onto her heels. Her head smashed against the tiled floors and her ears went silent as the massive internal ringing commenced.

 _"Oh, God…this is bad"_  ran through her mind, as pieces of drywall and plaster began to rain down on her. Looking upwards, all she could see were the flames and smoke, flowing like waves against the ceiling. The heat from the fires were burning to such a degree, paint began to melt on the walls.

She could not focus fast enough, and her vision went fuzzy. One moment she was on the floor in her office, the next she envisioned herself on a slab in a desert hovel. She recognized her lips opening to scream for help. However, in both visions, she was unable to hear her voice, only recognizing the sweat soaking through her clothes.

“Doctor Tierney!” She could hear her name being called, floating towards her like a whisper.

_BOOM_

Another beam slammed down at the far end of the office snapping her into motion. Struggling to sit upwards, she could see through the haze that the only exit to the area was completely covered. She was in essence, trapped.

Between the level of the blazing heat and the thickness of the choking black smoke, it was mere moments before she would be consumed. _I’ve survived in this life to make it this far, and to be burned alive in an office building…_

She attempted to crawl to the gaping holes in the facade, desperate for fresh air. As she clawed her way through the debris, fingernails digging across the heated floor, she came across the body of the head Agent. Her hand glazed across the blood pouring out from the back of his head. The look in his eyes was a familiar sight. Her stomach constricted in the knowledge she was alone.

 _“ALEXANDRA!”_  The scream came meters from the front of her position.

Loki.

She could barely make out his figure, frantically pulling at the chains that secured him on his hands. The floor had been blown apart into shards, but he was still connected to a large chunk of concrete. He was unable to advance from where the massive stone rested.

His eyes, panicked and wild, flamed her own fears. Loki’s voice was hoarse from screaming, “Alexandra, you must get the key from his pocket! I can get us to safety if you free me from these chains!”

She realized her hands rested on the dead body underneath her. Another gust of wind from the broken windows increased the heat around them.

 _My jacket is melting!_  She peeled the clothing off, taking a slice of her shoulder with it. A howl ripped from her lips and she felt a stream of warm liquid run down her back.

Fumbling through the choking black smoke and the agent’s soaked clothing, she found his keyring attached to his belt. She was able to remove it and began to crawl, one handed, to Loki’s position.

_I can’t breathe…my chest…the pain._

Shaking and coughing violently, she stopped only a few feet in front of Loki, just beyond his reach. He was still screaming her name, screaming for her to push forward. Alexandra could make out the gold of his armor, distorted and dull as it melted into his clothing.

_I have two choices. I can end this. I can die here, and take him with me. End this nightmare for myself and those around me._

_The other is to free him, release him from his bounds, and hope he keeps his word and rescues us both._

She could feel the room slipping away, the air removed from her lungs. Darkness pulled her in and she felt a peace take over. Loki’s voice faded into the darkness, his pleas to her growing silent. For a brief moment, she thought she was gone. Inexplicably, at that moment, she heard a firm voice shoot through her subconscious:

_You’re not dying today, Alexandra._

With a primal scream, she crawled the last few feet to reach his body. Running her hand down the chains, she felt for the lock. Alexandra wasn’t a religious woman, but at that moment she said a silent prayer.  _God, please forgive me for what I am about to do._

“Now, Alexandra… _NOW_!” The key hit it’s mark and she turned it, feeling the pieces release around her fingers. Another blast rocketed through the building, and the fire rose up once more. As her eyes closed, she thought she saw Loki’s green shirt with licks of fire across the arms.

With that final vision, Alexandra’s world went black.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Warnings for blood, explosions, partial suffocation, minor character death.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexandra finds herself in a tenuous situation with Loki and struggles to cope in the aftermath of the attacks on S.H.I.E.L.D. How will she survive with the fear that she is now his prisoner?

[Previous Chapter ](http://crescent-moon-rising.tumblr.com/post/101713541236/theory-and-practice-chapter-8)

_"Do you see her? Is there anyone in here?"_

_"I found a body! Agent Tierney…Agent Tierney, can you hear me?”_

_“Dear God….Agent Tierney…Alexandra Tierney, can you hear us? We need a medic here, with a cart, NOW!”_

Flashes of white and red danced across Alexandra’s field of vision. She could hear mumbling, then a scream, a never-ending scream piercing her ears. It took a moment to register that the sounds were her own.

 _“Agent…Agent Tierney, we’re losing her—call the medivac; southeast Fallujah, Bravo sector…”_  the words floated in and out until the darkness took over once more.

The flashes pulled sensations: intense heat and searing pain, creasing against her muscles and rippling like waves over her body. More flashes of white, but now brown and gray, entered her field of vision.

 _“Alexandra…”_  Another voice this time. The melodic tones floated close to her ears and flesh.

The depths of her unconsciousness sucked her back into the abyss. She could hear a sigh of relief flow across lips. This time, the sweet sounds of nothingness enveloped her senses. She felt calm, the burning and intense heat now replaced with a weightlessness around her body.

***********************

Words, a repeating series of phrases, greeted her in the darkness. She could hear the reverent chanting and her mind drifted.  _I_ _s it a prayer? A prayer for the dead, perhaps._  Her body thrummed as if it emanated with light and electricity.

_“Mend vöðvarnir gera við skemmdir af eldi á líkama hennar.”_

Alexandra struggled to open her eyes. At first, all she could see was raven colored hair, slicked back against a shoulder. As her focus steadied, coherency took over. The words were attached to a body. A figure that was leaning above her.

The murmuring commenced again. While Alexandra could hear it with clarity this time, she struggled to keep her eyes fluttering open and closed to the words. She attempted to understand them, the heavy accent rolling through the room.

 _Male voice…northern E_ _uropean language…_  The words continued, now in a sequence of phrases,

_“Græða sár, koma aftur lífi í æðum hennar.”_

Alexandra’s head rang with the sounds of a thousand bells. Lightning strikes of pain flashed across her temple and above her neck. She felt herself drift again into semi-consciousness.

 _Whose voice is that?_  She felt oddly comforted, yet sill unsettled. The flashes began again: Blood on her hands, the Agent dead against her body, Jade eyes bathed in fear.

_New York…I’m in New York._

She felt her voice in her throat, jammed against fluid right before it could escape. The eyes staring at her were not a vision. They were right in front of her. A familiar set, and she realized their owner.

 _Loki_.

However, it was not just his eyes on her body. She felt the sensation of his fingers on her skin, dancing over her shoulder and arm. They moved back up to her neck, the pressure increasing once more.

The scream finally escaped her lips, in conjunction with a succession of coughs and gasps. She desperately pushed herself backwards on her palms, only to be greeted with a blazing pain down her left side.

“STOP! Stop moving, you will only injure yourself more!” he roared, grabbing at her ankle to pull her back to him. Instinctively, she began to kick at his hands, keeping him from holding her down. Her bare and bloodied feet flailed back and forth, as he attempted restraint. His words only halted her momentarily, her voice breaking into a choked sob.

Her words came out distorted and hoarse, still affected from the smoke. The air burned as it flew through her lungs.

“Get away from me!” she screamed, “Don’t touch me!”

As if Alexandra was actually on fire herself, his hands retracted and he moved onto the balls of his feet. The gaze never left her body as she crawled upright into a seated position. Gingerly holding her left arm, she finally held her head high enough to see past her legs.

Alexandra snapped into an assessment of her immediate area, analyzing her status and whereabouts. The deep crimson color that was saturated into her pants was her first connection to previous events. Trying to steady her breath, her eyes were drawn to the burnt tinged holes in her clothes; the black and red stains that covered her hands. Her skin perked at the feeling of exposure. The remnants of her camisole were the only fabric left above her waist.

On the whole, her skin was pale, almost translucent. However, there was no ragged skin, no burn marks or wounds in her vision. The only area that stung from pain, other than the screaming in her head, was in her shoulder. A flash of melting fabric and the shearing sound it made on removal caused her stomach to lurch.

Alexandra finally noted the dark red stain on the floor beneath her. She recognized that she was parallel to a couch, a plush carpet underneath her body.

 _We’re in a living room? Where the hell is this?_  It was all too much to bear, and her hands flew to her face as her body collapsed into itself.

She managed, “How? How did we escape?” her weakened voice ringing pitifully around her body.

Loki cleared his throat before speaking, “When you removed my chains, it broke the hold on my magic. I transported us to another area in the building, before the floor collapsed. I concealed us with a spell, changing our appearances to avoid detection. I was able to travel outside to find safety.

“I found this residential building in the area.”

She could feel his body move away from her, but she could not raise her head. She stayed hunched over, remaining motionless kept it from radiating throughout her body.

“It appears the occupants of this domicile have gone on a holiday and will not be returning for a few weeks.”

Tilting her head from her knees, she murmured, “How did you manage to figure that out?”

“I scanned their meager computer system. It took me less than a minute to find flight schedules and ticket imprints on the hard drive.”

That prompted Alexandra to catch his gaze, open mouthed and shaking her head to her disbelief. She raked him up and down as he spoke, realizing he was in different clothes than at S.H.I.E.L.D. He had changed into a long sleeved black shirt with what appeared to be black dress pants.

“Your Midgardian technologies are eons behind what we have achieved on Asgard. A simpleton could break one of these down in a half-comatose state.”

Alexandra noted the furnishings that surrounded her. She could feel the lushness of the carpet underneath her fingers and regarded the sharp edges to the cushions on the couch. Her eyes roamed to the light around her body, cascading from a bright and sun flooded kitchen.

She should have been appreciative, but the pain got the better of Alexandra’s tone, “You have good taste. No hovel for you anymore, huh, Loki?”

Scoffing, he waved his arm outwards, “Of course. There’s no reason for me to spend my time in a festering hole in the ground. I’ve been privy to some of the comforts of your culture, I’m going to utilize them to the fullest extent.

“Besides, this building has a purpose to it.”

He turned and nodded to her left. Alexandra looked through the open shades on the floor to ceiling windows. Her eyes saw the black clouds billowing out of a building in near distance. Alexandra attempted to get to her feet and Loki bent down to her arm. His hand almost reached her elbow, when their eyes met.

She stopped moving, eyes growing wide when he came close to her body. Hissing, she pulled her arm against her chest. Loki’s barely concealed aggravation rose to the surface. Moving towards her, he pushed her arms aside to grasp her waist.

“Cease the ridiculousness, Doctor. I’d rather not have to carry you around this place any more than necessary.” He bent on a knee and with two quick movements, wrapped his arm around her and stood Alexandra upright.

Her eyes filled with white spots throughout her vision. She rolled backwards with a groan feeling her body slip downwards. She braced for impact against the floor, but was surprised to find she was not moving. Loki’s hands tightened against her while the vertigo passed through her body.

When she was able to focus again, she realized she was still in his arms. A fleeting glance between the two of them prompted Alexandra’s breath to pick up, her body reeling from his touch. Her eyes dropped to her feet, attempting to steady herself on the floor. Loki didn’t move until Alexandra was able to balance herself again; the ringing in her ears ceasing their alarm.

As his arms bowed away from her body, Alexandra turned to the windows. She noted the hole in the building approximately a quarter mile away. Black smoke still seeped from the cracks in the façade. Multiple helicopters swarmed around the area. She could barely make out movement on the rooftop.

Alexandra knew, anything of value in that building was long gone before any fire or rescue trucks made their way inside. Moving closer, she could see the large gaping blast marks. From their distance it appeared as though one entire crater travelled across the front. It was clear through, what the target had been.

The destruction confined across the entire 33rd floor, the former area known as “shrink row.”

Alexandra closed her eyes again, her fingers resting against the cool metal of a side table nearby. Loki remained behind her, she could sense his presence still rooted to the spot. The throbbing on her back was taking her breath away, picked up from her usage of the injured muscles.

Her voice was hollow, “Why did you save me?” she whispered.

He circled around her, stopping to her left. “You removed my chains. I figured I owed you that much, my dear Doctor.”

She turned her head towards him, wincing at the pain. “No, let’s not do that right now. We’ve been nearly ripped apart and burned alive. Can we at least hold off on the tricks and double talk for the time being?”

“Of course,” Loki said, folding his arms behind his back. His eyes dragged up and down her body as he continued.

“I believe you realize the same as myself, Doctor?”

Alexandra nodded in agreement, “The attack was not entirely for you. Nor, was it solely for me. This was deliberate, to take both of us out at the same time.”

The room went silent. Alexandra’s mind began to click into motion, her occupational skills gaining traction. Weighing options, she went with confrontation.

She felt the fear creep through her words, a shiver flowing across her skin, “I am your prisoner, then?”

He shook his head, “No, no, my dear Doctor, you are in no way required to remain here with me. You may leave whenever you wish.”

Pacing in front of her, his eyes remained on her body.

"However, I would think before you do take a step out of that door. Simply put, I believe it will only be a matter of time before it’s discovered that we are not among the perished in that building.

“In fact, I’m sure your maniacal Director, in his omnipotence, has determined that we have survived. Conversely, whoever has targeted us, has this information in their arsenal.”

He ceased movement in front of Alexandra, moving closer to her body but keeping his hands at the small of his back. His eyes retained their cold, unfeeling gaze affixed against her fear.

“That door is never locked. Your freedom is not bound to me or in any other way. Just realize what will be awaiting you when you do leave this place, my dear Doctor.”

He leaned closer, “I wonder, how Master Fury feels about the fact that his prized psychologist willingly let his gilded toy loose from his bounds.”

Alexandra inhaled, her eyes flashing wide and her heart racing once more, “Perhaps I should have let us both burn in those flames. If it is my responsibility for your actions, that’s not a weight I need on my shoulders.”

She moved around him to the couch, the pain spiking again.

“Speaking of, you are still bleeding, Doctor.”

 _Fuck_. She placed her hand gingerly onto her skin, feeling the slickness over the pierced skin from a lack of tissue. Alexandra’s stomach flipped at the wetness and piercing burn from contact. She confirmed his statement when she viewed her hand and saw it coated in red liquid.

 _I need a first aid kit, gauze, creams. The amount of pain indicates a second, maybe even third degree burn, maybe there is some bacitracin in a bathroom._  Loki’s voice pierced her thoughts, catching her off guard.

“I was not finished in my work. The healing will continue to disintegrate, until I complete the process.”

Alexandra froze; loathe to have him touch her again, the idea setting off internal alarms in her head. She spied a mirror in the entryway to view the damage.

“No. I can handle it,” she snapped, striding away from him.

Alexandra was not prepared for the reflection in the mirror. Momentarily, she did not recognize the woman with dark blonde hair and blue eyes. They were the only aspects that connected her to a memory of her former appearance.

Her face was smudged in black and her cheekbones jutted outwards. She wondered how long she had been unconscious, looking as if she had not eaten in days. Her lips were bruised and cracked. There was no light in her eyes, only a dull and glassy veneer.

When she turned to view her shoulder, she attempted to hold back her gasp. She failed and finished with a long groan. _I can forget gauze and antiseptic cream.This requires stitches, extensive repair to the nerves. There’s no way I can triage this effectively._  The burning and pain continued to escalate, causing her nausea to peak once more.

A large vertical gash ran from her left shoulder to the middle of her back, the skin raw and creased. She could see black within the fibrous layers of white and pink, a certain sign that smoke and debris went into her skin. Blood oozed from areas around the larger wound, every movement causing more to seep into her already soaked undershirt.

She could see Loki standing out of her periphery, arms crossed over his chest. One eyebrow was raised against her, a self-satisfied smile creeping past his lips.

“Shall we? I’d rather not spend the entire day repairing your ridiculously fragile form back into place.”

Nose flaring as she inhaled to her extent, Alexandra refused to look at him as she brushed past to move into the kitchen. Yanking a chair with her good arm, she sat down with a huff.

“Just finish what you’ve started. I don’t need a raging infection in my body from saving your royal self.”

Listening for his footsteps, his bare feet made little, if any, noise as he followed behind Alexandra. She closed her eyes, anticipating Loki’s next movement. She tried to control her nerves but she jumped at the sensation of a set of frigid fingers on the top of her shoulder.

Alexandra kept waiting for the grip to tighten, visions of his hands on her neck causing a shiver down her spine.

"Relax your body. This will work more effectively if you are not tense."

"I’m  _trying_ ,” she gritted through her teeth. A second hand rested on her back, underneath her base of her neck. Tilting her head, she could see the black of his clothes right behind her.

Warmth spread across the skin, the pain finally ceasing from it’s unending assault on her senses. She could not help the tears that fell from her eyes as relief washed across her body.

Whispers of the words she recognized from her semi-conscious flowed from his lips again, drifting into her ears. His hands moved onto the area of broken skin, Alexandra bracing for the sear on his contact.

However, there was nothing, only warmth and slight tightening. It felt as if a zipper was being pulled up her skin, pieces being brought together to form a whole. Her eyes closed again, the gliding feeling of calm now flowing throughout her body. She thought she had floated into unconsciousness when it ended as quickly as it began.

Loki’s voice caused her to turn again, surprised at the weakness throughout his words.

"It is finished." She found him holding onto the back of the chair, swallowing tightly. Dark strands of hair draped across his face. Alexandra was so relieved to have the pain cease, she almost reached up to brush them away.

Loki waved her to the mirror, now closing his eyes. Alexandra gasped once more upon her reflection. The massive wound was closed, completely gone. Running her fingers over the area, there was no raised tissue, no disturbance to the skin. Her mouth dropped open,  _h_ _e healed me?_

"There should be no further issue with that wound, my dear Doctor," he said now retreating gingerly from the kitchen.

"However, I can not mend the other wounds in that area. Old scars are difficult to remove and I am still weakened."

Alexandra averted her gaze, instead dipping her head to her chest. She could not bear to see what was in his eyes, across his face. The disgust she knew and had recognized of those in her past.

Continuing into the hallway, his voice softly travelled back towards her,

"The bedroom at the far end has clothing that should be appropriate for you. You should rest now, Doctor. The repair to your body requires sleep."

He headed into one of the adjoining rooms. She was about to thank him when the door closed with a faint  _click_.

***********************

Alexandra peered down the hallway to view the doors still closed to the outer rooms. Taking a long breath, she left her sanctuary and headed for the kitchen. For the first time, she felt hunger in her body, a foreign notion from the past few days.

Disbelief washed over her.  _I’m grateful, how did that happen?_  He had directed her to the master suite in the apartment. She took full advantage of the shower, washing off the debris and smoke that had been buried in her hair and nails. Once clean, she practically fell asleep walking to the bed and passed out on contact with the sheets.

Finding some loose sweats and a shirt, she was happy to discard her burnt and heavily crusted clothes. She wasn’t sure how many hours had passed, her sense of time completely thrown since the attacks.

The sun appeared to be close to setting as she moved through the rooms. The orange beams flowed onto the furniture, bathing it in a warm glow.

Opening the refrigerator, she took a deep sigh.  _Well, he wasn’t wrong about the owners being on vacation._  She could only see various condiments strewn throughout the shelves. Spying a jar of strawberry preserves, she decided simplicity was her best alternative.

She searched through a few cabinets to find the rest of the necessary ingredients and placed them on the counter. When she looked up, she saw Loki in the entryway—eyes focused directly on her body.

"What is that?"

"Peanut Butter," she said, holding up the container.

"There isn’t much else here to eat, I’m afraid."

His nose turned upwards as she opened the jar. Alexandra smiled, “Sorry, your highness. What delicacies were you fed during your stay at S.H.I.E.L.D?”

"A variety of meats, vegetables; various types of seafood."

She scoffed, “Well, you’re not going to find any of that here. When people leave their homes for vacation, they tend to keep little behind.”

"Interesting, and if they never return?"

As she spread the preserves on the other half of the bread, she shrugged, “Then there is less for those who remain to take care of, I guess?”

He hummed under his breath, curious to her movements. She attempted to ignore him, for the most part. Her hunger claiming priority over any need to be cautious of his presence around her.

Alexandra’s eyes closed as the food hit her lips. She could have been eating a Kobe beef filet, in her response of how that simple sandwich tasted in her mouth. Inhaling deeply, she leaned on the counter.

"So, now what? I’m sure that mastermind of yours has at least three escape routes planned from this mess."

A smile crept over his lips. “Now, my dear Doctor, what would cause you to believe that?”

"Just a hunch, considering we’ve been at this for over a week now. I can pretty much guarantee that you know where and when you’ll be heading off into the sunset with your alien friends."

Loki cocked his head with a  _tsk_ , “There’s no need for assumptions when I’ve been so helpful to you, Doctor Tierney.” He leaned on the opposite side of the counter, hands spread outwards as he tilted toward her body.

"Why exactly are you still here, Loki?" she smirked. "Can’t you just change form and leave, head on a beam back to Asgard?"

Examining the jar of preseves, he murmured, “I can only keep my cover intact for so long. I would have to keep moving from place to place. Your friends in high places have ways of finding me in my natural state.

"Besides, I am not a rodent. I am meant to rule this realm."

Unable to fight his belief system at the present time, she hummed a groan at his statement.

He continued, ”We still have no idea who attacked us in the first place. Unless, you have some hypothesis to bring to the forefront?”

She shook her head. “I have been trying desperately to figure this out. I can’t comprehend who would want us both dead at the same time. Separately, there are possibilities. Together, I have no clue.”

"Maybe you were not as effective as you should have been, Doctor. Letting someone in on your little secret, perhaps?"

"No, no, the only people who knew were S.H.I.E.L.D operatives," she mumbled, ignoring the jab at her. "Maybe…" she trailed off, taking another bite of the food.

He rolled his eyes and slammed a hand against the counter, causing Alexandra to jump.

"It had to be you—your ineptitude led them to us and exposed me in that building."

Throwing her food onto the counter, she spat, “Don’t you dare make the accusation that it was me that caused this to happen! You’re the one with a bounty on your head in several galaxies! Care to think that the possibility of having some contact with  _you_  put me in the crossfire?

"I know how to handle a mission, and I know how to keep protocols. I have the experience, and ability to manage a high profile scenario."

"That was in the past, though, wasn’t it Doctor?” Loki sneered.

 _"Fuck you!"_  she screamed, sweeping her hand across the counter and sending the containers flying.

He barely flinched at her explosion, but raised his head at her words, curious but restrained.

The confinement in his presence fuled her anger, “You think you understand what I have been through? You think that you can use whatever deductions you’ve thrown together in that machine of a brain could give you an iota of what I suffered? How I learned to pull back my ego or others might die?”

She flew out of the kitchen into the expanse of the living room, searching for breathing room. The constriction in her chest caused the spinning in her head for the umpteenth time.

"You dare to say that I would be so careless as to allow a breach of information? I’ve been through it, I know the devastation it causes! I have spent years dealing with the aftermath.”

He followed her into the room, fists clenched while opening and closing. He listened, without comment, but his eyes never blinked.

Alexandra screamed, “What would you know about being broken over and over again? Being forced against your will and brought to the edge of death?  _Nothing_!”

Emboldened by her fury, she moved closer to him, “No, you’re just a prince who searches for acceptance and admiration. You couldn’t understand what it is like to truly lose yourself.”

Lunging forwards, Loki grabbed her arm and pulled her against his body.

"Oh, is that your belief?" he growled in her face, his breath skimming her neck.

He reached under his shirt with his free hand and pulled it upwards. Along his ribcage, against his porcelain skin, was an extensive pink scar flowing from his heart and around his back. As Alexandra examined his skin further, there were hundreds of smaller scars, already healed, covering his torso. The marks fanned across his chest and ran down his pelvis.

_"As I have said in the past: we are incredibly similar, my dear Doctor."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> “Mend vöðvarnir gera við skemmdir af eldi á líkama hennar”: Mend her muscles, repair the damage from a fire in her body.
> 
> "Græða sár, koma aftur lífi í æðum hennar”: Heal thé wound, bring back thé life in her veins.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuing directly after the last chapter, the balance between Loki and Alexandra is pulled to the breaking point. Secrets are revealed as each manipulates the other within the tenuous situation in their hideout.
> 
> This chapter examines the situations both Loki and Alexandra experienced in captivity. There are descriptions and flashbacks of torture and violence.

  


[Previous Chapter](http://crescent-moon-rising.tumblr.com/post/103082734516/theory-practice-chapter-9)

Alexandra froze, unable to move as Loki’s cold hand wrapped around her wrist. Fear sank into her veins, another fleeting chill of captivity flashed in her eyes. She yanked her arm back, his grip lessening to allow her movement.

_One moment he’s healing what could have been a life threatening laceration on my body, the next he’s goading me into an explosion. Never the same, never a consistent pattern. It is a brilliant strategy, actually._

The smile crept across his features, twinkling in the lights of the room. He folded his hands behind his back, allowing Alexandra to move further away from him. She never took her eyes off of Loki, the twinkle and smirk hanging on his lips.

"Well! This is a lovely conversation to be had between us, would you agree, Doctor?" He circled her towards the expansive living space, the smile continually expanding.

Waving his arms towards the rest of the couch and chairs, he motioned her over.

"Come, come! I think this is a perfect opportunity for us to share our experiences. What would you call this—self-disclosure? A way to make a connection with your patient on a deeper level?"

Her chest rose and fell without pause, the anger still brewing underneath her skin.

"I’m not discussing my past with you, Loki."

"Oh!" he yelled in mock sadness, "but we could help each other in these _pressing_  times. How about I begin, you can hear all about the pain and suffering that you believe set me on this path. It is what you’ve been looking for all these days, have you not?”

Crossing his legs, the smile expanded into a grin.

"Besides, do you have somewhere else you need to be at the present?"

Feeling akin to a fish encountering a morsel on a hook, she cautiously walked over to the seating area. Sitting across from him in a high backed, gray colored chair, she found the seating to be entirely too comfortable for her taste.

"See, was that so difficult? And look at that, you found yourself in the same position as you normally are when we’re together." He leaned forward, a smile of a lion baring his teeth was at the ready.

"We should change that position sometime soon, no?" The glint in his eyes matched the movements of his tongue in his mouth.

"Go ahead, Loki. You have things you want to discuss, let’s go ahead and do this," Alexandra snapped.

Clapping his hands, he sighed.

"Yes, let us converse, my dear Doctor. Where to begin…" He trailed off, tapping a finger against his cheek.

"Oh, yes. Probably we should start by discussing the tale of how the true nature of of my lineage was revealed."

Alexandra’s heart stopped. The realization formed that he could be giving her this information willingly. He sighed, resting his large frame against the soft cushions of the sectional. Eyes languidly roaming around the room, he began to speak.

"Well, it was after Thor had acted impulsively and irrationally—once again. This time, he found himself receiving consequences for his brashness. You see, we had travelled to another realm to discuss a matter that happened within Asgard. That matter is not necessary to our story right now.

"Thor was banished here, to Midgard to atone for his sins."

He paused, murmuring with a curl of his lips. “I can see why Odin chose this festering realm for banishment.

"Nevertheless, I remained on Asgard. I had an inkling of this deception of my upbringing. I confirmed during that time that I was—in fact—not a true born son of Odin. I am a Jotun, a Frost Giant."

She tried to hold the confusion back as her voice found it’s place, “How did you realize?”

"There is a device in Odin’s trophy room, the place where he keeps the treasures he has acquired in his many conquests. With the casket, I saw my original form."

_What exactly does that mean? Do I really want to know?_

Loki’s eye briefly dropped to his right hand and back to her, “There were a few, _minor_  incidents that occurred hence. However, in the end, I found myself as acting ruler of Asgard—and the seven realms.”

Alexandra shot up from the chair, sputtering, “Wait—hold on— you held the throne? How?”

His chest puffed, a knowing glint flickering in his eyes as he spoke.

"Thor banished, Odin fell into a temporary stasis where he is useless. The line of succession fell to me, and my moth—Frigga was there for the change in power."

"In my rule, I moved to make changes in the realms, to show that I would be a firm and just leader. It was imperative to establish the dominance of Asgard across the realms. No kingdom should have the belief that they are more powerful than Asgard, and subsequently its King.

"However, when Thor returned there was a disagreement over my actions. I found myself at the precipice of the open space between the realms."

This time, his eyes flickered to and from her, awaiting a question. With a hard rotation of his jaw, his voice returned.

"I realized that between Thor and Odin, my way of rule would be degraded down to their pathetic standards. Hence, I was thrown into the abyss of space and time."

Alexandra couldn’t understand how this was possible, how he managed to claw his way back into existence.  _He’s like a cat with nine lives, he’ll always find a way to return._

"Unfortunately, for them, I was not killed. Rather, I was found by a race of beings known as the Chitauri. You recognize them as the army that entered Midgard alongside me."

The bravado dipped slightly as his eyes changed.

"My initial entrance to their ranks prompted the belief that I was an invader. The concern that I attempted to obtain information regarding their plans. I was subjected to their practices in order to establish if I would turn against them.

"Their leader determined I needed to prove my worth as a commander of their forces. I was to endure their … _trials_  as necessary. The examination was… _extensive_.”

Alexandra leaned into him, “They tortured you, to see your strength. Determine how much you could handle before you crack?”

She nearly jumped from the harshness in his voice, “I was tested to ensure they were bestowing the Infinity Stone onto a being of high intelligence. Only one who is truly capable is given the ability to wield the scepter’s power.”

_This is new…the Infinity Stone?_

Shaking slightly, she breathed, “What was the head of this army’s plan?” her head tilting slightly towards Loki.

"Domination of the realms, except Asgard. That realm would belong to me."

Silence returned to the expansive apartment. Alexandra tried to hold back the shudder on realization of the horrors that could have been rampant on Earth if he had been successful.

He mused, “However, due to the happy band of misfits on this realm, those plans were thwarted.”

A long, drawn out sigh flowed over his lips. With a flourish of his hand the words melodiously floated along.

"I’ve spoken for far too long, Doctor. I should give you space to describe your tale to me. Please, feel free to release some of that tension."

She tried to hold back her legs from bouncing, the fear making it’s way back into her skin. With time and patience, she could have devised a more elaborate story. She was ashamed that her mind, weakened by the past day’s events and a lack of rest, was working at a snail’s pace. She ran her fingers over her mouth, contemplating the outcomes.

“ _Go on_ , Doctor. Honestly, I think we’re at the point in our relationship where we can be honest with each other.” The catlke grin returned.

Alexandra sat back in the chair, looping one leg underneath her body. Without warning, the words began to pour forth, unhindered.

”I had been a profiler with the agency for several years. Working through the ranks, I  I was utilized for only the most intense and high interest missions. A successful profiler is born with a good instinct. You have to rely on that to make quick decisions based on human behavior. Behavior which, has no discernible path, and can vacillate from one moment to the next.

"When you reach that level, there is an understanding. Most times, you will be walking into the situation with no exit strategy. The knowledge is clear: if you are cornered, or in trouble, no one would be coming to get you to safety. You’re on your own.”

Loki’s head raised at her words; no contact made with his eyes. Alexandra thought she saw one of his eyebrows raise but it was gone in an instant.

"We had a mission to move a group of rebels from one area to another. The head of this group had classified information on terror cells that were popping up around the lower half of Um Qasr, a city on the border of Kuwait. One of them gave us incredible amounts of data from access to secret drives. They were sneaking in and out of highly fortified sectors to pull the information. His only request was to help him escape the city, along with his family.

"We thought he was risking his life for us, to get us this information to further the mission. I focused all my attentions, my entire life, into this mission. We were a six man team to extract them.

"A few days before the extraction, my informant contacted me. It was protocol to give him the breakdown of his duties and to find out the details for the movement.

"He was curious as to the members of the team for this procedure. While I never gave him the information about the other members of the team, he was aware that I would be on the ground with them. He was my intel, I was assured that I would be able to get in and out and secure him to safety. I thought not only that I had this entire operation solidified, but we had tons of data coming to us after the extraction."

Holding back the stinging at the corners of her eyes, she sighed.

"I was so brash, so entrenched in what we could achieve, the  _honor_  I received, I ignored the concerns I had to his questions. I ignored my instincts.”  _That was my first mistake._

"When we descended on the building for the drop, myself and the five man team found it in a blood bath. My informant was dead—no— _mutilated_. Within moments, the place exploded with cell members.

"I watched as innocent agents on my team were shot at point blank range. The whole set up was a ruse, giving us bits of information that would become inconsequential. My confidant’s family was being held hostage. That is until he was killed. We found out his family was murdered afterwards. Burned alive at stakes, I believe, was the method.”

Alexandra stopped speaking. Suddenly, she did not care if he was using this as a part of his master plan to rule the galaxy. She needed to let her words pour forth, and he would be the person to hear it all. Without regarding him, she continued, her voice breaking as she reflected on the situation.

"You see, being a S.H.I.E.L.D agent comes with quite the reputation. Being one of the highest known officers in the division also comes with a price. This group believed I was worth the trouble and made sure I was kept somewhere isolated, off the grid."

She felt the spinning, throbbing pain flash underneath her skin. Moving from the chair, she paced in a small circle by the windows. The visions returned to her eyes, and she knew if she stayed motionless for too long, they’d take over. She’d fall headfirst into another episode, which was already threatening in her mindset.

Her voice returned with a force, “You said your captors had their practices to see your strength, your knowledge.”

"Yes," he whispered.

"Care to elaborate? What atrocities was the Crown Prince of Asgard shown? What were you brought to endure, Loki?"

She sat back down across from him, leaning forward. As Alexandra moved, the shoulder of her shirt slipped down. His eyes roamed to her exposed skin, a slight flick of his tongue rolled on his lower lip.

Alexandra kept her position, waiting for him to speak. _I’ve got nothing to lose, and everything to gain._

His hand waved around his torso, “The cuts you saw were branded by fire. It was to test my strength, my ability to hold under the pressure of whatever tricks your realm might throw at me.”

It was his turn to rise up from the couch, gliding towards the windows. His hands clasped behind his back.

“I do not fare well with heat.”

A multitude of thoughts ran through Alexandra’s head as she contemplated his statement. She rose, moving towards him. Standing behind his shoulder she focused on his back, the muscles outlined through the black shirt he still wore.

“The rest? That is not from heat.”

He breathed in and out, the only movements of his body. When his voice did return, it was weak—searching for steadiness, unsuccessfully.

"I—they needed to find a way to keep track of me when necessary."

Her eyes went wild. “It was their way of knowing where you were on Earth?”

"Additionally, allowing them to bring me back—in a way—to their planet. It allowed us to converse while I remained on this realm, so to speak."

"Do you still have this—"

He spoke quickly, “No. No, once their ships were destroyed and your associates got their hands on me, they were able to remove whatever was left in my body. I imagine it’s housed in the depths of that building somewhere, encased in glass.”

"You’re probably quite right." He turned and looked at Alexandra, a surprised smirk dancing on his mouth. Breath flowed from his nostrils and his eyes glanced up and down Alexandra’s body once more. For the first time, she smiled back at him.

The relative détente ended as abruptly as it began. Loki’s head cocked to the side, the sneer snaking through his voice.

“I find myself wondering the nature of  _your_  scars, my dear Doctor. We’ve shared so much this evening, I would hate for us to end without me knowing how you have been affected by your past.”

Alexandra felt her shoulders constrict, the frustration building from her unease.

 _I’m not sharp enough right now to cover my tracks._  Ignoring every previous inclination she had, Alexandra pushed forward into the visions that haunted

_Those who do not learn from the past are doomed to repeat it._

"They knew that I was a high level agent. These operatives realized what they had; they knew they were dealing with a prized possession. However, they were not interested in bartering for me.

"They wanted information. Whatever I knew about the inner workings of S.H.I.E.L.D: my knowledge of the infrastructure and it’s levels of power. I was being held by so me of the best in the Kuwait underworld. Individuals whose sole purpose is to extract that information."

She knew his eyes never left her body, watching her chest rise and fall as she tried to keep breath in her lungs. Her voice dipped lower as she allowed herself to open the door to the past.

"You see, I’ve dealt with these individuals: people with that skill set worked alongside me, taking my orders. I gave them each target’s pressure points. Information that would be used to extract what we required.

"This is a skill set perfected only by a few in this world. I realized quite rapidly that my captors were some of the best I’d ever encountered.

"It is not so much fun on the other side of the table.”

She closed her eyes and the visions appeared. A flash of the cold, unforgiving metal as it pierced her skin, slicing through the skin of her back. The heat of her sweat as it ran across her body- dripping onto the filthy table underneath. Perspiration intermingled with blood, a halo of fluid circled around her body.

It was only the beginning of the misery she would endure. Howls echoed in her ears; she could feel their resonation as she shrieked through the frigid night air. The sounds of the laughter from her captors at her distress.

_Filthy, pathetic woman. S.H.I.E.L.D whore._

Alexandra snapped to attention, realizing she had stopped speaking.

Catching Loki’s eyes, she found nothing. No concern, no pity—just a set of jade orbs, never changing, never flinching.

Sniffing, she straightened her body to center herself. It was then he spoke, monotone and lifeless.

“Did you reveal to them your secrets, Doctor?”

Without looking up, she whispered, “Everyone breaks, eventually.”  
*******  
Lying across her bed, Alexandra tried to formulate a plan. Her brain was scratching towards some semblance of her skills to determine a game plan. She had left Loki in the outer rooms, uncaring of his actions at the present.

_Things could be worse, I could be chained to this bed._

_I could leave, but I have a better chance of getting information here with him. I could use this containment as a way to move forward—get more information on this scepter he mentioned_.

Her mind wandered, trying to recall the footage. Closing her eyes, she strained to visualize it, and a flood of images ran forth.

_Yes. He had a scepter when he first walked through the portal, the one that affected Banner on the ship and was used to stop Selvig’s machine._

_What the hell is an Infinity Stone? Other than granting power to the one who wields it, what more can it bring? It’s clear Loki needs this, but where is it and how will he get it?_

_I have no way of accessing this information, not without raising the alarm at S.H.I.E.L.D, wherever it is now._

She sighed with a shake of her head, trying to remove the frustrations and memories she’d endured over the past hours. She could hear her mentor’s voice  _"Time to start breathing."_

As she focused on a point in the ceiling, she regulated her breathing, counting down from ten and back again.

It was faint, imperceptible, but Alexandra heard the door to her room open.

Sitting upright, she balanced on her palms to find Loki inside her room. His eyes, hooded and dark, reflected the dim lighting.

Before she could speak, Loki struck first.

“I’ve come to check on your wounds. I need to ensure that the magic has taken hold and will not deteriorate.”

She was uncomfortable with the heaviness of the air in the room, loaded between them. Alexandra watched Loki, without her approval, walk towards her on the bed. She sat upright, moving away so she could face him.

“It’s fine, I don’t believe you need to look at it anymore. I know my body.”

“Do you now? You’ve had yourself healed by magic before? Please, do enlighten me.”

Alexandra sighed, “No…no…I—“ and trailed off. Shaking her head in absolute frustration, she reversed her position so her back was to him. A position, at one time, she swore she’d never let happen again.

“Make it fast, I’m exhausted.”

She jumped hearing his scoff, right next to her ears. His hands grazed over the top of her shirt, slowly pulling it downwards to expose her back. Her eyes fluttered closed, trying to remain composed.

His cool fingers ran down her vertebrae, stopping briefly at the midline. The long digits moved over her skin, languid and methodical. Alexandra stopped breathing, stopped moving all together.

She thought his fingers would release from her skin, instead they came together. Looping around her shoulder blades, he dragged them down her sides. One hand ran over the faded scars, but she did not flinch from the sensation. His fingers moved along the raised skin, now pink and ragged on her body.

The sigh that floated from her lips shocked her. Inhaling, she pulled on the rage that was usually right below the surface. She grabbed her shirt and with a grunt, pulled it onto her bare skin.

“Are you finished with your examination?”

The calmness in his voice as he responded troubled her, “Why do I despise you so?”

She turned, finding herself dangerously close to his face, and lips. Her comment at the ready was promptly forgotten as she met his eyes. With her breath caught in her throat, she attempted to say something but was lost. All she could focus on were the green eyes, the ones that haunted her and had permeated her life entirely.

His eyes flicked back and forth, carefully watching the features of her face.

Biting her lip, one question pierced through her thoughts.  _Why does he need me to complete his master plan?_

Silence remained on her lips, however, as Loki’s hand grazed along her cheek. His thumb caressed her face, eyes floating shut at the sensation. He pulled her to him, Alexandra anticipating the contact of his lips.   
Nothing.

Alexandra’s eyes opened to find glints within his pupils, large and full of anticipation. In a millisecond, the crook of his mouth raised, right before his cool lips finally captured hers.

This kiss was reminiscent of their first, although without the machinations behind it. Shock preceded her as he depend their embrace, tongue flicking against her lips. Without hesitation, she opened her mouth more to allow him access. Her own tongue grazing against his, she sighed from the feeling of lightheadedness.

His hands moved to her waist and she found herself guided against the mattress, his body soon covering every inch of her skin. All concerns were lost in his body, his hands moving along her waist, her arms. She inhaled quickly, but his mouth moved to tongue along the column of her neck.

Desire flowed through her body, her hands roaming against the black fabric on his shoulders and back. The weight of his body felt delicious against hers, and Alexandra pulled Loki closer— grabbing onto the fabric. Her nails grazed his skin, prompting a small grunt from his chest.

Their breaths came heavy and hot as they separated, a fleeting whine from Alexandra at the loss of contact. One of the hands that had found her legs ran to her face, palming her cheek.

"Alexandra."

His eyes narrowed to her face, thumb brushing against the fullness in her lips. Bending down to her, she rose slightly to join them together.

"You need to sleep."

Alexandra’s eyes shot open with a huff of air into her nose. Her alert status was greeted with silence. Looking at the ceiling, she saw her focus point, now bathed in bright light. Pushing herself up onto her forearms, she spied the sunlight streaming through the windows of the bedroom.

She was still in her clothes; the same position when she tried to meditate and stave off her anxieties.  _Was it all a dream?_  While her head was still fuzzy from a lack of sleep and coffee, she was sure it was all real. The feeling of his skin, the touch of his fingers on her body,  _it was real, wasn’t it?_

Walking out towards the kitchen area, she heard movement around the island. She gasped with a choke.

In the kitchen area was a tall man with short, slightly curly blonde hair and bright blue eyes. He was unpacking items from a bag, a tumbler of coffee in his hands.

Her eyes wide, the gentleman turned and saw Alexandra. With a shake of his head, he waved his hand across his chest. Instantly, the genial visage disappeared and Loki’s form returned.

Clearing his throat, he moved the bag and cup to the end of the counter.

"I went to retrieve food for you. This was what the mortal in front of me ordered, it will have to do for the time being."

With trepidatious fingers, she opened the bag to find a bagel with cream cheese and a large coffee next to it. She could have shed happy tears at the moment the intense aroma floated around her senses. At least she would have some chance of keeping on her toes with him.

As she placed the cup to her lips, she consciously held back the moan on the drink’s impact with her mouth. She looked over to find Loki focused directly on her face, almost examining her features, searching for for an answer.

She jutted out her lips before speaking, “Well, thank you. I’m sure keeping that form wasn’t easy.”

"No. It wasn’t."

Alexandra ignored his cool tone and kept drinking.

"I assume you slept well, my dear Doctor?" She glanced up at Loki, just to see him turn and face the windows.

_Was that a smile on his lips?_


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexandra comes to the realization that she must gain Loki’s trust to escape the safety of their voluntary exile. However, in gaining that trust, will she lose herself in the process?

 

****************

As the day progressed into dusk, Alexandra attempted to keep her distance from Loki. Lying across the couch, facing the Manhattan skyline, she tried everything she could to keep her anxiety from building. She found herself flipping through the channels on the television, her pulse increasing with every word from the reporters lips. All of the coverage of the attack on the S.H.I.E.L.D site was on every channel. Not surprisingly, none of it was accurate. Her hair stood on end while chills ran through her skin.

The news stations confirmed that a small plane lost control of its navigation panel in flight and hit the building. There were parts of the fuselage and even large shards of the cockpit strewn about the remains of the floor. The pictures were flashed across the screen every few minutes, being a huge news story in the area.  Alexandra should have been concerned about the rapid response from S.H.I.E.L.D. Having worked for Nick Fury as long as she had, did not even raise an eyebrow. Sadly, she mused, a protocol was in place somewhere in the files for this situation

Reports confirmed four dead in the carnage. Alexandra remembered the vision of three agents rushing towards her before the second explosion. If that was the report with their claims of a fabricated pilot, she knew the underlying truth was clear.

 _S.H.I.E.L.D knows we’re alive, just as Loki stated. It’s only a matter of time._  A chill raced down her skin, perking up in a cascade.  _What will happen to me when they do find us? Am I going to be thrown in the cell next to Loki, left to rot away in the depths of a building somewhere?_

Slamming the remote down, Alexandra watched it bounce from the cushions onto the floor. With a groan, her anger flaring and breath racing, Alexandra jumped from the couch.

_No, the only way I’m getting out of this with any hope of freedom is with information. I have to have something to give them, something to say was the purpose of my actions. Otherwise, I’ll never be heard from again in this lifetime._

Inhaling to her lung’s capacity, Alexandra regrouped her thoughts. Her hands opened and closed, thinking of how she could attempt to extract what she needed from him.

 _Pressure points, anger, frustration: you’ll have to use them all._  Flashes of his hands around her neck raced through her mind. The feel of his cold fingers pressing into her skin, the force of his knees pinning her against the metal of her office desk prompted a violent shudder in her body.

She shook her head in an attempt to remove the vision from her mind. If there was any time to move against him, it was now. She had to make a stand, Alexandra fairly confident he would not harm her.

 _He needs me._  Ideas ran through her mind, in a way to convince herself of safety But she hadn't pushed him like before...and now he could use that magic…what else was he capable of achieving?

With all of this was the haunting memory of her dream. The dream of his lips and body on hers, the feel of his fingers tracing patterns against her skin. _No, no more—it was just a dream._  She had convinced herself of it. The smile was coincidence, nothing more.

She did not like the fact that it kept entering her subconscious. The kiss, his hands on her body, the way she had found herself drowning in it. How easily she reached for his arms, the contact of his lips on hers.

 _Stop. You can not allow yourself to fall into those thoughts. You know your goal. You need this information._  It didn't stop her pulse from quickening when she thought about those visions.

She pulled the sleeves of the dark gray sweater up to her elbows and strode to the room she heard Loki retreat to earlier in the morning. The quiet in the apartment was too much for Alexandra, and she could feel the pulse of both of their bodies resonating through the large space.

She knocked on the door, and a lazy " _Enter_ " met in response. She walked through, surprised to find Loki lying across the bed, a book in his hands. His jade eyes appeared curious, inquisitive at Alexandra's form as the door closed with a clack. She approached him, trying to keep her posture upright, shoulders back.

Pointing at the paperback in his hands, she queried, "What are you reading?"

“Hmm...a novel named _Before I Go to Sleep_. Interesting concept…” he trailed off while speaking.

Regarding Alexandra with a raised brow, he ground his teeth and his jaw pulsed when he crossed his arms.

"Well, I am assuming you have a purpose to this little visit to my quarters. You wouldn't be in front of me, if you did not, my dear Doctor."

Sighing, she sank onto the corner of the bed, the farthest point from him. She could not help but laugh at the sight of Loki, dressed in normal, mortal clothes. The black pants and black shirt without shoes or socks highlighted his pale skin and dark black hair. It was quite the contrast from the impressive and foreboding presence he displayed in her office.

"Do I amuse you?" he deadpanned, sitting further upright in the bed.

Alexandra shook her head briefly, ”No. I’m just noting the difference of your appearance now than our previous conversations. You look almost human, Loki."

His eyes turned dark and menacing as they lost the hint of playfulness that twinkled across them.

"Would that make you happy Dr. Tierney? To have me become human, mortal? Have feelings such as care and sympathy for those around me? A desire to become a person who could be able to have compassion?

“Feelings to show to you, perhaps?”

Smiling sightly, she let out a loose chuckle.

"No, Loki, I think you need to remain exactly as you are at this moment. After all, that will be how you'll get what you desire most in this universe."

He relaxed against the lush pillows behind him, “What is that you believe I need? A throne, as you've said?”

She shook her head, “No, devotion.”

His eyes closed and he let forth a disgusted growl.

"Again."

Jumping in, she pointed at him, ”Ah, but it is true, Loki. Because your need for everyone around you to fall to your feet is the belief that you should be able to rule. You'll need that to move forward, and become the King, ruler--whatever you desire in your lifetime.

"But you see, you'll never be satisfied."

Tilting his head, he snapped at her while baring his teeth, "Your insistence on my satisfaction remains incorrect. My right is to rule, to a throne--I will obtain all of this and more. I need no satisfaction in something that is rightfully mine!

“I will be under no one's control, do you understand me? I need no confirmation, I am the being in the darkness. I will create the chaos I require, that I will manipulate to achieve my goals.”

“Continue that belief, Loki. Eventually yes, I do believe you'll find what you're looking for--considering you'll stop at nothing for it.

“However, I will warn you, without understanding that it will never be enough, you’ll never stop. You can have every realm under your hands. You will never be content. You'll search and strain for every moment to gain more.

“If -- possibly, when--you achieve all of your perceived goals, realize you will perish before happiness, Loki. You need a connection, something to anchor you. You'll never have that.

Taking a deep breath, she went for the jugular, “That’s the difference, I guess, between you and Odin. He had the love of a wife and family to connect to his accomplishments.”

The roar from his mouth sounded like a lion in attack of its prey.

“I am so far beyond the scope of Odin’s ravaging of the realms! My understanding of rule lies far beyond what he could have ever achieved in his limited visions in rule."

Grabbing her arm, the aura of the mood changed and Alexandra shuddered at his touch. She attempted to pull away, but Loki held tight--enough to keep her in place.

"You believe that my rule will be tyrannical, and it will, that I can assure you." His eyes turned black, the green flecks remaining--almost glowing against his skin. The smile crept along his mouth, encompassing his face like a mask.

"However, I will ensure that subjects like you will be treated with fairness, my lovely Doctor."

She spat back in the grimace of his features, ”Do you believe that you could handle the rule of an entire race? Under the conditions you believe you'll create? It's weak, it'll fall apart. If it does not instantly deteriorate, then gradually.

“Then where will you be Loki? Right in the same predicament again."

He chuckled under his breath, "I am the magician in the darkness. I will always find a way to escape. You have no idea of my ability.

“That I can assure, you.” He released her arm, sliding back onto the pillows.

“You will know, my dear Doctor. In time.”

Sputtering, she spoke with an incredulous voice, “How could you accomplish this, Loki? You'll have S.H.I.E.L.D and the Chuitari after you, as well as Odin and all of Asgard.”

His voice dropped again, “There are things much more powerful than you or I in this universe. I will use whatever it takes to make my rule known.”

“The Infinity Stone?” she whispered.

“Yes, Doctor”

 _Time to tread lightly,_  “Let me paint a picture for you, if I may. An alternative, or a tangent to your plans.”

She stood from the bed, folding her arms behind her back.

“You need this scepter, obviously?” He narrowed his vision, nodding once while enjoying her movement around the room.

“Explain to me what it will do for you.”

He crossed one leg over the other, a smile breaking out across his face, “You’ve seen what it does, my dear Doctor.”

 _Selvig. Barton._  Flashes of the footage from Barton's attack in Germany ran through her mind.

“It puts them under your control.”

“Correct. As I've told you before, I gain control of the ability to function over their central nervous systems. Rendering them completely helpless and in my command.”

“However, from what I remember, you must be close to them for this. How—how could you rule so many all at once?”

His voice dropped, “Your scope is limited, Doctor. You should open your mind, allow yourself the breadth of your own powers to see beyond the immediate.”

His arms flowed outward from her body, encouraging her in her mindset.

“Am I correct,  _Agent_  Tierney?”

The name sent a chill down her spine, a sensation across her chest of each muscle being pulled tight.

She closed her eyes, “The stone gives you power.”

Her head tilted backwards, a sigh escaping along with the further realization.

“The ability to control more than one mind at a time. With the stone you would have powers beyond that…” Her voice dropped to a whisper.

He clapped his hands with child-like glee, “Correct! There are other stones...other trinkets of Odin’s that could bring this forth. You see…”

He paused, hopping off of the bed and moveing closer to her.

“Odin’s treasure room is full of a delightful assortment of items he’s pillaged from his time in other realms. He is not so innocent in all of this.”

She looked up to him, her chin as high as it could be raised, “Yes, you are correct, he is not innocent. However, you are not appropriated rule because he told you this as a child. You're both wrong.

“The longer you fight against him, the longer you'll be falling into traps that will bring you nothing.”

Straightening his back, now almost a half-foot taller than her, he glowered, “Then what?”

“Then you use this chance to help us. Get the infinity stone, use it to aid us in this attack, whenever it is to happen. Then go back to Asgard, with the evidence of your ability to bring about peace. It’s the only way you could be even considered for a life to rule others.”

His voice raised at her words, “What do you believe is a life in Asgard for me? If, in some strange way I am allowed to be free--if I am not brought back in chains once more?”

Scoffing loudly, he moved to the windows. "You see, Doctor--look out, across to that building. The one we were in only a short time ago.

“That hole is in that building for one reason only--to destroy both you and myself in a fiery death. Whoever sent those missiles to us, wanted only one thing--our annihilation.

“They assumed you would perish and I would be taken along with you--unable to escape.

“If you believe it would be as easy as taking a stone and using it for what you perceive is the greater good, then you are incredibly, desperately naive.”

Alexandra could not help her hands as they rubbed her eyes and cheeks, the exhaustion setting from the hour and the events that had come about.

“Maybe I am naive. Maybe that's so even after everything that has been done to me. After I have been beaten and sliced open, brought to places I never want to revisit again, I still know there is something to believe in this world.

“I believe in goodness, I believe in the power of things going right. That there has to be hope in this existence. It's the only thing that has gotten me through the last seven years. I have to, Loki.”

Shaking her head and padding towards the foot of the bed, she muttered, “If there is no hope for any of us, if this lifetime is to be spent in a decrepit hole which we were brought to suffer and scrape through...is this a life to be spent alone and miserable?

“Then I wish I was never removed from that table in the desert. I wish when they plunged the knives into my lungs, removing the air and I gasped for breath--they never closed them again.

“I wish I never turned that key and escaped from burning to death.”

She looked to see his skin turned paler than before, his eyes dilating at her words. Unable to be in his presence anymore, she turned from him, holding back the shuddering sob that threatened to ravage her lungs.

She heard his movements as he flew to her side. Alexandra braced to be yanked, pulled around like a child's doll. Instead, she felt an arm slink around her waist. Gracefully gliding her over to him, she held her breath.

 _No, it couldn't be,_  she thought, as she believed there was a negligible warmth from his skin.

His voice was hoarse, barely moving an octave, “You believe this? That this existence isn't worth living without…” he paused, apparently searching for a word.

“Decency, goodness? How has that been shown to you?”

Her hazel eyes flicked up towards Loki. Straightening her body, her head rose from her chest. The fear was gone, nothing remained to be afraid of anymore. She could find herself jailed, free or on the run. The fact remained: Alexandra lost the comforts of her life the moment she walked out of those elevator doors into Nick Fury's office.

“You've seen me,” she said, pouring into his eyes, trying to find remnants of a soul.

“Exposed. I am broken. Maybe I've been put back together again, shattered pieces in place to create a whole. However, like a reformed mirror, I still have cracks that will never fade.”

She watched his Adam’s Apple bob sharply against the pallid skin of his throat, “Then how do you see me, Doctor Tierney?”

She could feel every muscle release, her body falling into itself.

“You are as broken as I am, Loki. As you’ve said, correct? Two similar paths formed our current existence.”

Bringing his face closer to hers, the familiar scent of ice and snow in his breath, “So, would you say that we deserve each other then, my dear Doctor?”

She huffed through her nose, along with a shake of her head. Languid eyes stared at the closed doors, her next destination.

“Probably. Who else would want us in our mangled states?”

She attempted again to leave his room, her feet shuffling against the plush carpeting. His hands remained firm around her waist. The warmth was growing, building between them.

_It’s a ploy, a trick. You know this, it’s the basest of tactics. Show the prisoner care, compassion after an attempt of ‘extraction of information,’. Wait for the exhaustion, the subject’s weakness, to exploit and turn their mind._

It was a tactic she knew painfully well. It was also one she decided not to care about anymore.

 _Let him think he’s made a break in my façade. Let Loki think he’s brought me to his side._  However, deep in the depths of her mind, even Alexandra couldn’t Not believe her inner bravado in its entirety.

His mouth dropped down to the rim of her ear, barely touching her skin. She turned her head and pressed against his thin, cool lips. There was a retraction, a brief pull from Loki away from Alexandra. Possibly a reminder of the last time they actually shared a similar moment, one that resulted in Loki’s electroshock into the carpet of her office.

As she pushed forward, her fingers grazed along the muscles of his chest, digging into the black shirt. The hands around her waist moved from their position of holding to grasping, long and light fingers beginning to press against her flesh.

She felt the moan float through her chest into her throat, and knew the smirk was forming on his lips as they further caressed her own. His tongue moved to flick against hers, and she met it willingly and enthusiastically.

Gasping for breath, he pulled to her neck, now nipping at the skin. A remembrance of his hands agains those same spots caused her to shudder. As to calm her fears, his tongue massaged the areas, her legs further weakening against him.

Unsure if it was her legs or his guidance, they found their way back to his bed. Loki remained pressed against her body, hands roaming underneath her long sweater—caressing her skin with deliberate movements. Those hands changed their position from her back, to her hips, down her thighs. It was when she focused away from the sensations of his mouth against her neck, did she realize he had removed her clothing from below her waist.

A low incoherent mumble flew out, a last concern against the wrongs that were attempting to formulate in her mind. Alexandra felt the shaking in her muscles, unable to keep her breath. Loki pulled back, dark green eyes focused on her mouth. He dragged his thumb against the dark pink flesh, an eyebrow raised to her features.

“So alike,” he murmured. His eyes flit from her mouth and eyes, anticipating, waiting for reaction. She could see the barest glimpse of the whites of his teeth, on the border of a smile.

Alexandra’s head nodded, and he pushed forward, meeting her lips with a powerful kiss. She dragged him down to the mattress, pulling his shirt up and off over his head. His black tendrils cascaded down, brushing against her cheeks and forehead. She became lost in the sensation of his lips, his hands massaging her breasts and arms. Fingers grazed along her skin, under the shirt until her clothes were also on the floor.

Alexandra was not used to being in the situation of taking control in matters of intimacy. She allowed the men who shared her bed to make the movements, somewhat believing she was in their debt for being with her. However, tonight she felt differently—maybe it was the fact she knew they were both scarred, mangled and alone.

Or maybe it was because she knew they were manipulating the other in a fierce battle of domination in position. She did not care, all she knew was she wanted that feeling—the feeling of losing herself in another, even if it was someone who brought her fear and disgust.

Her hands groped for his arousal, stroking him against the skin of her thighs. Loki groaned into her hair, teeth nipping at the soft bud of her ear. Her fingers grazed downward from tip to base and up again, gaining heated breaths in response.

 _Enough,_  he grunted, and moved her hand away and moved his own between her thighs. Stroking her wet flesh, he dragged one finger inside of her, causing a guttural sigh float through the air. Adding another digit, they moved in and out, his mouth using the same movements against the perked skin of her breasts.

She felt her back arch, her toes curl as his fingers stroked her walls. They found the spots that brought her higher, made her voice lighten in pitch but increase in frequency. His free hand caressing the skin of her waist, splaying against the now glistening flesh, was stabilizing her body against the feeling of absolute pleasure.

Finally, his fingers moved to those bundle of nerves that were tightly wound like the coil in her abdomen. Her hands moved to his hair, intwined in the long black ringlets that flowed between her fingers. His pace quickened, her heart beating wildly in her chest.

Her murmurs were louder, longer. _Loki, oh God, please._  She heard her voice, although she was beyond the measure of comprehension to know she was begging for her release.

When his lips met her collarbone and neck she heard the words, ‘Come for me, Alexandra.’ A fleeting moment of remembrance slammed into her mind, her eyes opening to those jade orbs. However, this time there was no fear—only need. She grabbed his face and brought it down to her own as she screamed his name while the coil burst from within.

Panting, her mouth hungrily met Loki’s and she found his hands moving along her stomach, her arms. Hands met her own, holding her to place, as he moved himself in between her legs.

Her name left his lips in prayer,  _Alexandra_. Winding her legs against his hips, she beckoned his entrance and he met her gladly. With a slow thrust, moving in and almost completely out of her, she felt the moans bubble into her chest and throat once more.

Her hips began to move against his ministrations, the sounds of their flesh intermingled with the moans and gasps in their mouths. Her lips grazed against his mouth, tongues flicking in rhythmic motion.

Loki hitched his breath, begging her, “Again. Fall apart, my darling Alexandra.”

She rocked her hips against him, pulling him deeper and harder within her folds. He gasped and groaned to the base of her neck.

His voice sent her tumbling once more into the depths of the pleasure he was pleading her to follow. As the pressure unwound once more, she called out into the darkness surrounding them.

“God! Loki,” she sang and he gasped along with her.

His hand moved to the headboard, slamming into it as his hips snapped against her body. As they slowed to a stop, she could feel the faint tinges of soreness intermingled with the flashes of heat streaking down her legs.

Half lidded, she opened her eyes again to him searching her face. Eyes roamed, looking for her reaction. Brushing the tendrils of hair away from her face, he rolled to her side. She struggled to catch her breath, but still longed for the feeling of weightlessness to remain in her system. Once it left, she knew the emptiness would return.

It was only his voice that pulled her from the depths, “I believe that was more enjoyable than a dream, would you agree, my dear Doctor?”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexandra finds herself conflicted with her feelings for Loki and her duty to the ultimate mission. With time ticking down, Alexandra will use all her strengths to obtain what she needs—no matter the consequences. (This chapter is NSFW)
> 
> The final arc of this story begins, and I can’t thank everyone enough for reading and enjoying where this is headed.

 

**Stockholm Syndrome is considered by many leading psychologists to be a complex reaction to a frightening situation. It is one that can result in the place of a person engaged from a hostage/captor event.**

**Most experts agree that Stockholm syndrome has three central characteristics:**

  * **The hostages have negative feelings about the police or other authorities.**
  * **The hostages have positive feelings toward their captor(s).**
  * **The captors develop positive feelings toward the hostages.**



**It generally occurs when a crisis situation lasts for several days or longer. The hostage takers remain in contact with the hostages; that is, the hostages are not placed in a separate room.**

**The hostage takers show some kindness toward the hostages or at least refrain from harming them. In addition, people who often feel helpless in other stressful life situations or are willing to do anything in order to survive seem to be more susceptible to developing Stockholm syndrome if they are taken hostage.**

**Captives may find themselves in situations where they have to turn to the whims of their captors to remain alive.**

_That was what this was: a kindness, if you will, that turned into my belief that I needed to do what I did, right? For the sake of my own sanity, my own well being, I had to do this._

The deep, almost cleansing, sigh from Alexandra’s mouth belied the intense anxiety that brewed just below the surface. She tried to calm her rising breaths that continued without pause.

_Right, call it Stockholm Syndrome, use that psychology degree to make sense of this all. Call it your attempt at garnering new information. Call it weakness in the face of a handsome and charming demigod. Whatever works, Alexandra. Does not change matters at the moment, does it?_

Alexandra felt the knots in her stomach, the tingling across her skin, almost feeling like sandpaper was rushing over her body. Her eyes tentatively gazed over at the mass of black hair cascading down the alabaster skin of the body next to hers. His back faced her, moving slowly from his long breaths while still asleep.

_How do I explain the fact that I feel less guilt than I probably should at this moment?_

She sat up in the bed, grasping onto the sheet to feign some type of modesty Her eyes roamed around the room for her clothing, now intermingled with Loki’s on the floor. As she slowly slid out of the bed to grasp her shirt, she nearly screamed from the sound of his voice.

“Where are you going?”

Alexandra raced to her clothes, putting them on quickly before Loki moved from his prone position to properly view her. The air changed as his face tilted to watch her movements, a perk of his eyebrow to match his slightly opened mouth.

“Someplace with more pressing matters, I assume, Doctor Tierney?”

She folded her hands around her waist, backing away from the bed with tenuous steps.

“No, I’m looking for food. You may be able to get through this period here without sustenance, but unfortunately, my body isn’t the same as yours.”

Her footsteps barely made any noise she padded down the hallway into the kitchen once more. Nothing had changed, there was still the same furniture, the same practically empty cabinets, the same rising sun in the horizon. Another day, another morning, of navigating the tightrope in her sights.

She wasn’t sure why she was being so quiet, there was no true reason. Other than the fact that her mind was racing at a breakneck speed from her actions of the night prior.

She opened the cabinet, thank god, at least there’s tea. She pulled out a sauce pan to heat up the water. Apparently the original occupants of their place of exile not believing in a tea kettle.

Outside the windows, she could her the burgeoning sounds of Manhattan in the early morning. The buses as they revved their engines from their stops, the intermittent car horns directed at the taxis who would speed up while they darted through traffic.

Alexandra watched as the bubbles began to form at the bottom of the pan and slowly, one by one, floated to the top and broke at the surface. She was so mesmerized by the repetitive motion, she only heard the second set of footsteps as they entered the living room.

Her eyes darted upwards to find Loki, without a shirt, but thankfully in the pants from yesterday. Having a hard time ignoring the muscles of his shoulders and chest, she tore her eyes back to her bubbles.

He spoke, “I suppose pleasantries would be acceptable for our situation this morning? How are you, my dear Doctor?”

Without looking up, she countered, “Well, other than the fact I’m starving and we’re in this place with little to no food? Sure, I’m peachy.”

“Obviously, your temperament has remained intact.”

Her teeth ground in response to his sarcasm as she pulled out a mug. It was almost impossible, but she ignored his body as it passed her to rest against the island. Without turning, she felt the boring of his eyes into her back, the air shifting to an uncomfortable silence.

“Do you normally enter into this type of domestic situation in your own home, Doctor?”

She turned to look at him over her shoulder, “Do you not eat breakfast on Asgard? Is it something of a delicacy for people to eat?”

His nose flared in tandem with his eye roll, “I’ve seen my brother and his comrades eat like gluttons at most events. It is not something I feel is becoming of a Prince or a King.” He moved towards her, and she felt her body sink against the metal of the stovetop.

His vision on the pot and teabags in front of her, he sniffed before speaking, “I would take tea with my mother later in the afternoon. That was more suitable for my own needs.” His mouth opened, and Alexandra waited for him to further his thoughts. Instead, he rotated his jaw before moving away from her area and walked into the living room.

She found herself inhaling and exhaling at a more consistent pace once she was alone again. Alexandra made her tea and followed him to the windows.

The curtains were pulled back to their limits, shining light and warmth from the sun in the horizon. Loki’s sights were set on the former S.H.I.E.L.D building. Smoke had ceased from billowing out the massive gaps, and a covering had been placed on the holes in the sides.

“Do you enjoy watching the chaos?” Alexandra’s voice was questioning, breaking the long silence.

She heard the puff of air from his nose, his superiority pouring out, “Sometimes there is an enjoyment of partaking in the destruction, but there is an element of revelry in watching others bring themselves to defeat. If I can be the instrument that brings a slight push, all the better.”

“You have a sick sense of humor.”

“Well, you have done research on me. You know I enjoy a bit of the macabre, if you will.”

She drank her tea next to him at the window, periodically holding the mug against her chest while breathing in the steam. Her eyes glanced over at his body, admiring the muscles as they moved and contracted over the defined planes on his back. She remembered the feeling of them under her fingers, the strength as they contracted as he moved his hips into hers.

Shaking her head from the vision, she grew weary at her internal battle. _I’m tired of being stuck here. I’m tired of this game. It’s time to move forward._

“Tell me more about the Infinity Stone,” she said while moving back and forth on her bare feet. The carpet was slightly cold, the heat not at full power in the apartment.

With a curious glance over his shoulder, he began, “You have to know what you are handling, if one tries to use the power of the stone without knowing it’s uses, it will destroy you. It is why only those who have been taught, know what kind of intense control is needed to wield it properly.”

“Are you waiting for someone at S.H.I.E.L.D to pick it up and basically blow the place down?”

A knowing twinkle in his jade eyes matched the grin on his mouth as he closed the distance to Alexandra’s side. She had to hide her aggravation at the childlike mirth which floated in his words.

“Would make finding it a whole lot easier, to be honest, my dear Doctor.”

The frustration burst past the surface, finally, “You need this, you need me. You need a whole lot of things, Loki. How do you really believe this will play out for you?”

He gave her a condescending glance before speaking, “I believe, as always, the way will present itself for me to achieve my goals. How it’s accomplished and who will be in my path are inconsequential.

“The stone will be found wherever your fearless leader believes it is protected, that is obvious. He has no idea what is in his hands. He believed the Tesseract to be of interest, he was clearly wrong.

“Whoever finds it first will have the power to control minds, expand their ability beyond anyone’s imagination. It amplify’s the holder’s power, and in conjunction with the rest of the stones that are available—can give the bearer the ability to rule the galaxy.”

Her voice weakened at the knowledge that this was all a grand scheme to find this scepter.

“Is that the plan of the Chitauri for their return? This is a quest to find these stones, and they’ll start here, with this one.” He nodded, turning again, this time to the skyline overlooking the Hudson River.

She kept talking, although mostly to herself, “They need you to find this? They would keep you alive until it was found.”

As he circled her body, his eyes roamed across the open areas of her shirt and focused on the peach colored skin.

“That would be a logical assumption, Doctor Tierney. They require the stone; I have the most impressive knowledge of it. Since I have a strong connection with it, it would be easier for me to find it over them. However, I have to wade through the minefield that lies ahead.”

Alexandra felt the dread in her words, “Do you know of the army’s plan? Is that their ultimate goal as well, to rule the realms?”

His head turned from her, ceasing his footsteps. She saw his fingers twitch, as one hand rubbed the other behind his back.

“I am not aware of their plans. Most who are in a predicament to obtaining items of great importance are due to their value. I believe we can agree that the Infinity Stone is of the highest value.”

Her silence implied her agreement. Although, she was not convinced of the complete truth in his statement. Looking over at him, the slight break in his gaze, she had to believe this all wasn’t for him. She had to believe of the most minuscule hint of decency, somewhere in him. Maybe, after the previous night’s events…

“If you found the stone, you could help us defeat them. Ensure our freedom and your own, they would have to Loki. No one could look at you for making things right and bringing peace here!” She hated the desperation in her words.

As anticipated, her weakness prompted his anger, “For someone who craves such peace, looking for the balance in others lives, you make interesting choices, Doctor Tierney,” he growled at Alexandra.

“I had no choice in this matter!” she sputtered.

His eyes narrowed, growing darker, “Of course you did, Doctor. I could have let myself die on a rock. I decided to make the stand and further my quest for control of the realms. I brought myself to become worthy to stand upon the throne of Asgard before the rest of the citizens to declare my rule.

“You could have easily shut Lord Fury down, but you wanted something, didn’t you? We’ve spoken all this time about what I have desired, let’s discuss you.” Alexandra backed away from him, placing her cup on a side table as continued his tirade.

Clapping his hands behind him, he languidly moved back and forth in front of her, “You wanted the excitement of finding something new. A mission that would make you useful once more. What would be more exciting than a new and interesting interrogation, a study in profiling once again? This time, you’d be given a treat—one of the most complicated codes to crack in any capacity.”

Stopping a mere foot from her, his eyebrows raised once more.

“Have you enjoyed yourself? This hasn’t exactly turned out as you would have planned, I assume.”

Her chest expanded to accommodate the long breath she took, “No, Loki, I haven’t.”

Pushing past him, she tried to escape to the bedroom, but he moved in front of her. Alexandra stopped suddenly, the waves of her golden hair fanned in front of her face at the abrupt halt.

She found her voice, “I did what I needed to put things together, I solve puzzles—human puzzles.”

“No, you searched for something else to fix,” Loki murmured. A hand glanced against her cheek.

“A way to fix that which you believe is broken.”

It took that statement for Alexandra to meet his eyes, to make the connection in her mind. For whatever his intentions, he wanted and desired her.

“Two parts to a whole?” she said, taking another step closer to him. Alexandra was not sure if she was making the right call, and not really caring.  

“Yes,” he said, while his hand brushed a lock of her hair from her neck onto her back, “Quite the conundrum, Doctor. I never anticipated that all those glances you gave me in your office had such…” he trailed off, as he moved so his body barely met hers.“…longing in them below the surface.”

She could not hold back the desire in her sigh at the slight touch of his fingers on her skin.

Taunting, his lips grazed against the rim of her ear in a breathless whisper, “I can show you the benefits of being so open with your desires, Doctor.”

With a wave of his hands, both of them were naked, and he snaked an arm around Alexandra’s waist. With a gasp, she went to cover herself, but was blocked by his arm. His other hand rested against on her face, his thumb brushing on her cheek.

“You see, my magic continues to return to me now that I am out of your Agency’s captivity. With the stone I shall become unstoppable.”

Her hands roamed the muscles of his upper body, stopping at the small peaks adjacent to his shoulders. Her eyes automatically closed, the feeling of euphoria in his touch. Calm rushed over her body like the rolling of the tide early in the morning, little to disrupt the flow of the water.

_I can stop lying to myself now._

When his lips met hers, she eagerly responded to him, a murmur coming from her chest. The hand on her cheek wound into her hair bringing her closer to him. She gasped at the force, but his hand relaxed against her, now guiding her to the couches behind them.

With only a few movements, they were on the cushions, Loki’s long and lean body hovering over Alexandra’s. She tried to keep her breath in check, but found it harder to maintain as his hands moved from her waist to her stomach, his mouth closely following the path.

He stopped at her breasts, nipping and sucking against each one. Her back lifted, if only to have him take in more, using his tongue and lips to caress against the soft skin. Her fingers found the planes she admired earlier, now digging her fingers into them, in time with her gasps.

One hand dipped between her legs, and she anticipated the coolness of his fingers. She did not expect his body shifting against the cushions, and the feeling of his tongue against her skin, the sensitive folds of her core. The sudden heat left her breathless, and the feeling of his fingers brought air back in with a sharp gasp.

His tongue worked her skin, moving in all directions and keeping against her bundle of nerves until she could not handle the sensations. He would retract and move to her legs, returning with a force that sent her hurtling over the edge. Her fingers wound against his hair, pulling raven strands through her fingernails. Her body pressed against the cushions of the couch, sinking along with the feeling of weightlessness across her skin.

As she moaned his name, he moved up to her neck, again biting and caressing her column with his mouth and lips. When she felt her heart rate steadying once more, he brushed his nose against her ear and commanded.

“ _Ride me_ ,” with a flip he pushed onto his back and Alexandra was seated atop him. He guided her onto his length; Alexandra realizing he was waiting for her to be fully seated before moving.

He moved his fingers against her back, dipping to her curve of her behind.

A hand on his shoulder, one on his chest; her hips moved slowly at first, unsure in her ability to control their movements. His hands moved to her side, resting against her bottom, guiding her. They found the rhythm that would cause them both to moan loudly.

Her head dipped down to his, hair flowing against his cheeks, and shoulders. She moved faster, hips snapping harder against his lean legs. A growl flew from his chest, prompting his body to rise up to hers, teeth grazing against her neck.

“More Alexandra, faster,” and she complied, now rolling her hips in an unending loop.

The grazing against her nerves made her feel the tightness in her abdomen, the feeling of being right on the edge again.

“Loki, now, please… _please_ …” she moaned.

He gripped her and thrust upwards, harder and deeper until it forced her moans to turn into long wails of praise to the heavens. Loki’s moans became erratic until he followed her, his own praises to a different set of gods.

As she collapsed against his chest, she closed her eyes at the feeling of his hand running up her back. She nearly jumped when he spoke, not expecting any words of comfort from Loki’s mouth. His words made the room feel as if all the air was removed instantly

“Alexandra, I will ensure your safety. You shall be safe with me.”

It was in that moment—the words that he said, the inherent lies in his breath—that prompted her body to freeze. Every ounce of warmth that had spread through her body was immediately doused like a puff of air to a flame.

In a flash, she heard his words again: similar but in a different context. Her dream of him on the roof of SHIELD’s building; Alexandra watching as the chaos and explosions flamed through the buildings in her sights. Loki’s hands around her neck, whispering in her ear.

“ _You belong to me_.”

She moved from his arms, murmuring about needing to use a washroom. Walking against the cold porcelain of the floor, she looked into the mirror and closed her eyes. With every second ticking away, she watched her reflection.

_I do have a choice._

While rummaging for another set of clothes, she mentally recited a prepared set of numbers. She let her mind clear and focused solely on those numbers.

When she walked back into the room, he was clothed once more, awaiting her return. When he viewed her hands behind her back, a curious look crossed over her face.

Now wearing the sweats from the previous day, she paced towards him, staring straight into his eyes.

 _Through all your tricks, the ego remained. The one that refused to release your feelings of hate and despair that you have held for so long. However, the torture would have been for naught, the immeasurable pain would have meant nothing. I see this all now_ , she thought.

“You believe so strongly that your rule is the ultimate way? Maybe you’re right. Maybe, I can’t change your mind. You’ll believe that rule is the only option for you in this life, that there is no other alternative? Am I correct in my statement?” Alexandra asked. She did not wait for his reply.

“Then maybe, we need to put that theory to the test.”

His brow furrowed with a squint of his eyes. As his mouth opened to speak, he saw her hand move from behind her back to her side. She held up the cordless phone and pressed the END button. With a flick of her wrist, she threw it to the floor.

“What have you done?” he hissed at Alexandra.

“Let us see who can find their way to the Infinity Stone first, shall we?”

As she finished speaking, she interlaced her hands behind her head and dropped onto her knees.

“ _What have you done_?!” he bellowed, the sounds of approaching helicopters echoing against the expansive windows overlooking the city.

Peering at him through her lashes, the grin spread across her face, showing the tops of her teeth.

“I would get on the ground if I were you, Loki.”

He turned to the front door as the rapid sounds of beeping commenced. Alexandra dropped her head to the floor as the blast rang through the confined space. Loki jumped toward the agents, ready for the attack, as they swarmed into the living room. His frame paused and fell almost immediately by the multiple stun guns that were fired at various areas on his body. Not having any protective armor allowed the full, and most likely, tripled voltage to pierce his skin instantly.

Loki hit the ground, grunting and flailing against the shocks as the agents ran up to him with the same restraints Alexandra had seen from before. Loki’s skin became almost translucent as the power that grew in their exile was now drained from his body. A low and gurgling moan escaped his lips as his movements ceased.

Alexandra’s mouth dropped open, a plea for his distress on her lips, when the heel of one of the agents hit the back of her neck. She shrieked from the pain, white flashes dancing across her field of vision. Her arms were jerked from her head to the small of her back.

She could barely make out Loki’s voice, cracked but furious, “Get your hands off of her, you barbarian!”

As she blinked away the flashes and the pain, she felt the cold steel snap against her wrists. Yanked from the floor, she was unsteady against her feet; her ankles twisting against each other. The agents in flak jackets and helmets pushed her into an upright position.

Alexandra heard the voice over the radios, the familiar baritone of S.H.I.E.L.D’s Director.

“Do you have both of them? The war criminal and the Doctor?” A voice next to her confirmed that they had, in fact, both packages retrieved and they were bringing them in. The ringing began in her ears and thrummed against her temples, Alexandra’s eyes rolling from the pain.

“Good,” he grunted, “get them here immediately. I want them both in cells within the next half hour.”

As Alexandra was roughly pushed to the doors, an agent walked up to Loki and kicked him square in his jaw. Blood rushed out over his nose and mouth, a lesser man would have had multiple bones broken in several places.

She could not help her scream, “No! Leave him alone!”

One of the agents behind her grabbed a fistful of her hair and grunted, “Silence,” as they walked her from the scene.

Loki heard her yelp and his eyes met Alexandra’s as she was led away. As she was thrown to the elevators she could hear the roar from Loki’s voice before he uttered one last statement.

“By every god, I will find whoever hurts her, and I will destroy you all!”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Alexandra realizes that S.H.I.E.L.D sees her as a threat instead of an ally, they will use all their means to get her to divulge what she’s learned while in exile with Loki.

  1. 


* * *

_"What is your name?"_

The dryness that crusted against her lips refused to abate, fueled from the hoarseness in her throat. The hair that was matted to the side of her head refused to move creating a partial block on her sight. However, her cuffed hands proved difficult to brush said hair from her vision.

“You can end the bullshit, anytime,” she hissed. Alexandra had lost her thrill in playing along with S.H.I.E.L.D’s tactics.

She knew where she was headed, and decided it was time to move forward to the next stage of interrogations. _After all,_  she mused _, I could teach a course on the subject._  David crossed his arms over his dark grey suit while he rested back in his chair. Nodding, he tapped his fingers over the fabric, which retained the perfect lines and creases through the past few hours with Alexandra.

He clucked his teeth and took a deep inhale before speaking,“This will play out however you choose, Alexandra. If you just give us the information, what you’re aware of in the time you spent with the criminal—“

“Oh, David, seriously?” the rattling of the chains drowned out the disgusted sound from Alexandra’s lips as they slammed onto the table.

“You think that I am going to speak to anyone about this other than the Director or Agent Hill? The entirety of S.H.I.E.L.D can believe whatever they want about me. Listen to me carefully: I don’t care.”

“You were found in the company of the being that nearly set this world into chaos, his actions destroyed huge sections of Manhattan. There is an active alert that those beings are returning. Do you think that it makes sense for you to hold back at this time, Doctor?”

Alexandra smiled at his usage of her formal term, trying to get back into her good will. She had to admit that this was all an interesting tactic, using another psychologist to come in and question her. So far, it had only been the basic procedures: portraying the friend, using her situation against her, trying to appeal with her rationality. By utilizing David, he was playing the role of a mutual, someone who would come in to appear on her side, rather than a S.H.I.E.L.D operative.

"There’s a reason that Fury isn’t here himself and now I want to know why. I want to know why he’s hiding from me. If the threat was that he needed me as badly as he did two weeks ago? His ass would be in the seat across from me.

"I sent the call to the former help line and punched in my code. It only took a few moments for you to find where we were hiding. Now, I totally agree with you, David. This time can go easy or hard for everyone. I will work with you once my questions are met by Fury and no one else."

Tilting her head high, she sharply spat, “Fury can have all the secrets he wants, but I’m going to figure them out, and believe me, I will. I’ve been underestimated too many times in the past few days and I believe it is time to set that information straight once again.”

"You were- _are_ -the most successful profiler in the agency. How did you not see what was coming prior to that evening, Doctor?”

For a moment, Alexandra held back, but the smile graced her features, “No, I didn’t see what was coming. However, I am glad that I made it out of that inferno. Now I see what has been decided against my body, against my will. Because if I have to, I will continue this mission on my own and I’ll get what I need.”

Sitting back into her own chair, she rolled her neck to view David without hinderance, “You see, it’s all a waiting game now. I have all the time in the world, wouldn’t you agree?”

He shook his head, a set of light blue eyes shining against the harsh fluorescent lighting, “You have no idea what will happen, Alex.”

Fanning his fingers on his chest, he leaned forward while relaxing his body to show comfort, openness.

“Tell me, before they come here and work to extract the information. Alex, please, let me help you.”

“You can’t help me,” she bitterly said, “You have no idea…”

“Alex!” he roared, “Tell me what you know!”

Her face never changed, anticipating an eventual explosion from the normally quiet man. She found her voice, lightly singing her words.

”What is this, now? Am I frustrating you, David? Did they promise you my position, the nice title along with cracking my code? Well, you can forget it. We’re done here. You get Fury sitting in that seat, or you could watch it all get blown to bits while Loki and I cheer on with smiles on our faces.”

"Suit yourself, Alexandra. I expect you believe you know what’s coming."

"I do, David. Thank you, because I’ve been there before. If it does go down the way that you’re insinuating and how I am imagining, then trust me—you will never get a drop of information out of me in time."

He halted in his movement, glowering towards her before he left through the solid steel door.

"We will see about that."

Alexandra waited two beats after the door slammed closed. She kicked her feet against the chains that held her legs in place, growling at her state. She could feel the chill rising from the table underneath, as her head met her hands.

Alexandra looked up to the ceiling tiles, wondering how many sensors fixed upon her body. Multiple machines highlighting her vital signs and heat output. She decided on lifting her middle finger, to demonstrate an increase in her pulse, smiling all the while. She lost track of the time, if it was still in the same afternoon or same day as when she was removed from the apartment. This is all about the Stone. _If I can get to it, I can keep it safe. However, I need help to find it, more than Loki. I have no one I can trust…except._  She heard the door open and the chill of fear crept into her skin. This would be the next round, the ante would be upped this time.

The door flew wide, snapping Alexandra’s attentions back to focus. When the person walked through and met her eyes, she found herself lost. Every ounce of her confidence and strength evaporated within an instant. Her new companion turned the steel chair around and plopped down. His muscular arms draped across the top, framing his chin right above his hands.

“Hey, Doc,” Agent Barton murmured, “It’s been awhile.”

* * *

## Six Months Prior

“ _But what do you see? Do you find yourself looking to the future?”_

Alexandra sat in her chair, comfortably placing one of her legs underneath her while she watched Barton, perched at the top of her couch. He loved to sit there, she gave up a long time ago on mentioning it during their sessions.

"I try, I use the exercises that you’ve given me. I think about my goals, my life. What I’ve worked towards and what I believe in at this point. I just don’t know anymore.

"While I used to be able to see everything better from the distance, I feel I’m not catching anything. Things happen while I’m just floating around, yet my body continues to struggle with being on point. I feel at times that I’m in a haze.

"I just don’t know, Doc. I think, after everything, my instincts left me. I have to wonder if I’ve lost the ability to think on my feet."

Leaning forward, Alexandra shook her head, “No, because you found yourself in that battle, able to follow through orders. You put yourself on point, Agent Barton. You never stopped, until it was all over.

"Maybe you need to be useful again? Have a mission, a purpose? You need the adrenaline, the rush of being in the thick of the action. Being on a S.H.I.E.L.D ordered leave isn’t what you need."

The mocking-serious laugh rolled through his chest, “I don’t know, some days I believe that is true. Others, it’s hard enough to get of bed when I realize the things I’ve done. I’ve had dozens of missions, followed orders without question.

"However, this—losing myself to a power I could not control. It haunts me. I have flashes still, faces…down in those tunnels. Visions of horrors in Germany. What do I do with them?

Her voice dropped to right above a whisper, “You need to acknowledge them, otherwise they will never leave. If you ignore the ghosts, if you try to push them away, they will only return.”

He hopped down, pacing behind the couch, “Doc, I think I need to get out of here. I need to get away from this place. Find my center again.”

"Where do you think you’d want to go?"

"Away from New York, there’s too much reminding me of what I have done here. I—I think being out of the city is necessary."

"Clint," she said, moving closer to him, “I think you need to do what’s best for you. S.H.I.E.L.D can give you orders, they can give you direction. But in the end, what will matter is your own mind. If you feel that this is not a good place, you make that known.

"You served in that battle, you have the scars. It’s time they gave you the opportunity to help yourself. Regain the control, that’s what we’ve been discussing all this time. Get your skills back again, let it settle into your bones?"

He looked up at her, nodding, “Leave here.”

He trailed off, his eyes scanning the room quickly, “You know, I think I’d miss you, Doc.”

He spread his arms out wide from his body, “Miss this place, the times we’ve spent. Oh, the memories of us unable to hold back the unadulterated hostility towards each other.”

She laughed, enjoying the feeling of levity between them, “And did you ever believe you’d say that to me, all those months ago?

“Fuck no, I would have been quite happy to be done with you back then. I couldn’t stand the sight of this room,” chuckling to himself.

“I couldn’t agree more. I’d have been happy never to have you on my couch again.”

* * *

"Well, Doc? I need… I need to hear this from your mouth. I need to understand what your thoughts were in all of this."

She stared across the table at her old client, the room having been flipped to their old roles, “Barton…Clint. I—I had to do what’s right. If I have the information, I can help our forces when this fight begins.”

Dipping his head to his hands he jutted his lips, sighing under his breath, “Doc, I want to believe it. I need to believe that, it was your duty.

"However, I need you to explain, what happened that night. Why did you save him? You knew everything he’s done. You knew what he did to me, and you saved him?"

Her mouth ran dry again, “I — I thought I would never escape.”

"The thing is- why did you believe he’d save you? Why did you think that in all of this, that thing would think enough to save you as well as himself?"

"It was a feeling, a hunch, I didn’t know—" she stuttered.

Biting his lip, he looked down, “Doc, I want to believe you.”

_He knows._

Pulling a tablet from his side, he sighed, “Doc, I don’t need to tell you what happened when you came here. What S.H.I.E.L.D can determine, without even having to take off a piece of clothing.

"Tell me what you’ve had to do for this information." His eyes, always with the hint of ice now returned to a dark and desolate place. She watched the transformation, from Clint to Agent Barton.

"I did what had to be done."

"That monster, he forced you."

"No!" she said, the word coming out too fast, too heated.

She continued, “I made the decision. It was the only way.”

His eyes closed, “I’ve heard that excuse before, Doc. Thing is, while I know you are an Agent— at least  _were_  an Agent—you aren’t Romanoff. That’s not your, skill set, per se.”

The silence filled the room, Alexandra willing herself out of the deepening fear that he was right. _If Loki didn’t force her, what did that make her?_

"Does it matter?, " She sighed, "I have information that could stop this, stop it all."

Dropping the tablet to the table he snapped, “Yeah, it matters, Doc. Because if you had to, if it was in your absolute need to have that happen, then it’s one thing. However, you made choices. You chose to unlock him and get out of that blazing disaster. I can’t say that I blame you, there. There was no way of getting out.

"But, how did you know he was going to take you with him?"

"I didn’t, I - I wasn’t sure."

He turned the tablet around, pressing the screen until he found what he was searching for came up.

"Well, let me show you this."

The video played, Alexandra recognizing it as surveillance footage from her old office. She saw herself, and Loki. She held back the gasp on the connection that this was video from the night of the attack. It was when she saw her face, heard her voice, that her skin felt as if she had frigid water thrown at her.

_"I got them off once. Something tells me I’m smart enough to get them removed again.”_

_His chains…I was gaining his confidence, luring him…_

_“If it was something I desired to accomplish, of course.”_

The look on her face reflected lust, desire. Her mouth remaining just open enough to show a hint of her tongue, watching Loki’s mouth as he spoke.

_“Hm. I believe you are correct. Desire is a grand motivator; makes things much more fun. Would you agree, my dear Doctor Tierney?”_

_Oh god…this was right before we were attacked. They believe I was already in his charms._

_“So, if you know that is the case, then maybe we should work together. I can find ways to make this a reciprocal relationship.”_ Her voice reverberated, tinny and shrill through the small speakers.

She watched the footage as her hand dragged up his arm, her eyes dark and half-lidded in their proximity to Loki. Barton swiped the screen to close the video. He never looked at her, tapping his fingers on his muscular forearms.

"I find it hard to believe, Doc. This and the things you did with him in those sessions…"

"I did what I had to do!" she screamed, "You weren’t there! You have no idea what I would do to make this right, to complete what was directed of me!

“I made the choice. It was in my hands, and I would do it all over again!”

He slammed his hands onto the table, rising from his chair, “You’re the one who has to live with it all, right Doc? Forget all that’s happened in the past, what that piece of shit has done? Did you forget what he did to me? How he ruined me, my world!”

"It doesn’t matter, none of this will matter," she whispered, "I am the only one who can do this, who can stop him. Stop the invasion."

His voice was cold, emotionless, “No, I think you’ve been brainwashed.”

Her anger surged once more, “Clint, I can help, I have the…”

"No, Doc, you are compromised." His face never ceased from the look of disgust on his face.

"Just like the rest of us."

* * *

Roughly pushed through the entrance to her cell, Alexandra watched the door slam shut before her head dipped back to the concrete and steel. With only a small window with two way glass, there was little to see in the sparsely decorated room. A bed, a table, and a lamp were all she was given in this new and fresh hell. She stumbled over to the thin mattress and collapsed onto the sheets, the feeling of lightheadedness rushing through her body. She felt her breath leveling, the pain evening out into a dull, steady ache.

I have lost David, I have lost Barton and Fury and Hill are nowhere to be found. What do I do now? For a moment, the tears threatened to fall, her muscles aching from sitting in a metal chair for hours on end. Her head rolled to the side, eyes fluttering wildly as she tried to keep her sights focused on anything: the blank walls, the intermittent flicker of the lights around her. It was when she felt the exhaustion take hold and pull her into the blackness that she heard an imperceptible scratch against the floor.

“Doctor Tierney, what a surprise.”

Her eyes flared open to the voice, and found the sight of jet black hair and deep green eyes pouring over her body.

“I’m dreaming. I’ve fallen asleep and I am dreaming again,” she mumbled.

“Not this time, my dear Doctor,” Loki grinned.  _That smug, all-knowing smile. God, I hate it._

“I must remind you, the lackeys from the booths watching your vitals will rush in here and I believe that in your heart, you do not want that. Not just yet.

“They believe you are asleep, lying on this bed. If you become too, excited, they may come to determine the cause.”

She blinked several times to see if he was still standing there. On the fourth attempt, she realized it was true, her voice getting caught in the breath that escaped her lips.

“How? I thought—the cells hindered your magic?”

His eyes scanned the area, the grin reappearing, “It appears we are not in the building as last you found me. These are not the same protective containments. Apparently, they were in a rush to detain us, without realizing the shields were not strong enough for my powers. It is no matter, I am not leaving anytime soon.”

Dragging her legs into her body as she moved to a seated position, she whispered, “What do you want?”

He moved towards her, the prey in his sights.

Loki’s voice ran low, the anger surging, “The same thing as you: I want that Stone. You stupidly believed that by bringing us here, you’d find a way to get it before me. You forgot that these people have no basis in honor or loyalty. I have to give them credit, it’s something I would have done, myself.”

Ignoring the fear of his retaliation, she leaned into him,“So you’ve come to bait me into showing them you’re here? So they can chain you up once more, and leave you in a corner?”

“We need each other, Doctor. It’s plain to see. Without me, you can’t wield the Stone, and without the Stone you can’t defeat the Chitauri. No matter how many mortals in fancy suits or idiot Asgardians you bring to your side, they will return, stronger and more determined than ever. They find that Stone, your world—every realm—is lost.”

“Fine, if that’s the case. Get us out of here.”

“Patience, my dear Doctor, patience. We can’t go running down S.H.I.E.L.D’s hallways, busting our way through doors. I can move through these cells, yes. However, they will have that scepter in a place of utmost security. Even with some power left, I can not get through that on my magic alone. I will need assistance in that regard.”

Her chin dipped into her chest, “That’s where I come in.”

“So perceptive,” he purred, “It’s a charming trait.” His thin fingers tangled through her hair.

“Admit it, Doctor; you have already in your heart. You made choices which brought us to the precipice of this destrcution. Together. You made the choice to call your friends, who aren’t so much anymore, are they?

"Who do you have left?" She closed her eyes, wondering, _If I keep them closed, will it all go away? Will I wake up from this nightmare, the knowledge that I have found myself in a hole that I can not escape?_

His breath danced across the exposed skin of her neck and collarbone, the oversized shirt hanging off her body, “Your intelligence is wasted on them. They will betray you as all others do. It is in their nature, for them to use you on the path to their own greatness.”

"You and I will always survive, it is in  _our_  nature.”

He grabbed her, his mouth descending upon hers, hands winding through her hair and against her back. Loki pressed his lips against Alexandra’s, the pressure turning them bright red. His tongue danced against hers, teasing, caressing her until he retracted and went for her neck. The bruising began under her ear, his teeth on the sensitive flesh.

He grunted her name, Alexandra pulling at his tunic, searching for his bare skin. Once removed, she dragged her fingers against the firm muscles of his back, pushing him into her body. She wanted the feeling of his skin against hers, the weight of his frame as it pressed into her own.

“Loki,” it was all she could gasp, his own hands searching under her shirt, fingers kneading against her breasts.

His mouth captured one, his hand moving to her pants to rest between her legs.

“Tell me you want me, Alexandra,” he hissed.

His fingers teased and twisted against her skin, barely dipping into her soaked skin. He pulled away, his eyes dark and heated against her. Alexandra felt her breath quickening, almost unable to keep up the pace as her heart slammed in her chest.

“Say it, Alexandra. Say that you want me, you need me.”

“I want you Loki. I need you,” the words languidly dripping from her voice.

His fingers dancing, playing prompted Alexandra to shriek from the sensation of them rolling onto her folds, pressing against her nub. His mouth returned to her breasts, dragging over them with his tongue, flicking and pressing to the peaks in her flesh. Her moans grew louder, unable to keep them in her throat any longer. Arching her back against the gritty sheets, Alexandra looped her legs against him, pressing him further inside of her. Her hips bucked against his hand, her fingers pawing at his shoulders, the skin of his arms.

“Loki,” the last syllable lingering against her lips, her mouth dropping open as she felt the pressure building inside finally release in a wave over her body.

She succumbed to the feeling of breathless gasps and floating weightlessness.

“Ah, my Alexandra, it is exquisite to watch you become undone. So willing to be under my flesh.”

She rolled onto her stomach, pressing her hips and back into his body, prompting a gasp of his breath.

“I believe it’s mutual,” she murmured into the skin of his neck.

Alexandra could feel him pressing his hardness against her behind, then the frantic removal of his own clothing until he pressed deeply inside of her. Her gasp prompted her head to drop to the mattress, gripping the sheets in between her fingers.

Loki’s hands planted her hips as he began to thrust, over and over, her gasps lengthening on each one until they turned into moans. Loki’s hands roamed over her chest, pulling her into his arms.

His mouth against the shell of her ear, he whispered words in a language she could not understand. His own grunt and growls pulsated through him, his teeth biting against the dip in her neck.

She was close, the swirling sensation building again. As Loki’s hand dipped from her breasts to her thighs, back to her clit, she moaned louder than before. Her fingers dug into his flesh, creating crescent moon marks that would fade instantly.

“Alexandra, gods, you are beautiful,” he gasped, hands dancing around the flushed skin of her body.

Alexandra turned to his mouth and pressed her lips to his neck, her tongue caressing across his skin. With a grunt he met her and his arm pressed against her body, finally pushing them both over the edge with a final, forceful snap.

The two panted and gasped, falling back to the mattress. Loki, held himself over her body until Alexandra moved onto her side. Her eyes fluttered and rolled, before she closed them. Her body stilled against the waves that continued to pulsate down her legs. She relished the feeling, wanting to wrap herself into Loki’s body and drift off into sleep.

However, this was not that type of encounter, she was not in a position for longing caresses after such an intimate act. She looked across to find him staring at her body, his dark green eyes finding her own. As he glanced downward, towards her mouth, she moved her head away from him.

“You should go, they’ll be picking up on the fact that my body heat and pulse rate will be heightened any second now.”

His eyebrow raised, a huff escaped from his lips, “As you wish, my dear Doctor. I expect we shall meet again, soon.”

With a wave of his arm, he disappeared. Alexandra flew upright, realizing she was not only naked, but in a state of complete disarray. Yanking on underwear and her clothes, she was able to smooth out her hair, combing the damp tendrils from her face. As expected, the door opened, and a woman walked through.

Alexandra turned and nodded her head, “Agent Hill, I was wondering if I would ever see you again. It must be fate.”

Hill’s face did not change, her eyes seemingly blank but a fear was spreading across her features. Alexandra never, in all the years she knew her, saw such distinct emotion from her.

“Doctor Tierney. I need you to come with me. The Director wants to speak with you immediately.”

The smile grew from her mouth to her eyes as she stood up. Alexandra felt stronger and more powerful than before.

“Lead the way, Agent Hill.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When brought to the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D, Alexandra learns that there is much more to the mission than she could have ever imagined. Now that Manhattan is under an impending attack, Alexandra takes matters into her own hands—by joining forces with Loki. 
> 
> TW: Some violence and blood.

 

 

_So, this is what Loki encountered when coming to session. For being immobile, it’s quite the powerful experience._

No less than five S.H.I.E.L.D agents flanked Alexandra, handcuffed at the wrist and the legs as she was marched to the elevators. Agent Hill led the procession, never turning her gaze behind her.  If she had, she would have caught the dangerous glare that was positioned at the back of her head.

Agent Hill stepped aside as they returned to another nondescript elevator. Once their cargo was considered safe inside the cab, she walked through and watched the doors close.  Alexandra was vibrating as her smile, an almost maniacal gleam, poured forth from her features.

She could make out her reflection in the warped steel of the doors.  There were the flyaway hairs, the darkness under her eyes and the redness at her neck.  

She should have been afraid.  Instead, she reveled in the adrenaline coursing through her body, pulsating against her skin.  Her breath quickened, the feeling of a lion baring its teeth on the delicious sight of newfound prey

Alexandra had come to the final realization in the seductive feeling of power that surged through her client.

The short ride brought them to the top, the doors slowly opening onto another large, but not entirely impressive floor.  She strode through, head poised high while peering around the new surroundings. Most items were the same, the desk still covered with papers and tablets, the same individual lurking behind the desk.  One screen now held images of what appeared to be cells—and one that was quite familiar to Alexandra.  

When she stopped in front of him, Fury peered at his newest visitor. His hands draped under his nose and mouth, one index finger twitching against his skin. Alexandra kept the eye contact, never flinching. For what seemed to be an eternity, her chest rising and falling was the only movement she could make out in her vision.  

Waving his hand, Fury let out a disgusted grunt under his breath before he snapped, “Take off her restraints.  Unless she learned eons-old magic in three days, I doubt she is able to cause any problems.”  

Alexandra was pushed and pulled against the  _clicking_  of the keys in their locks, finally giving her the ability to move around unhindered.  

“Leave us,” he growled, prompting the Agents to retreat and fall over themselves back to the elevator.  

Agent Hill took her usual position to his right, but continued her focus around the room, never staying in one place for long.  As Fury sat back in his chair, his eye moved up and down Alexandra’s body, as if he was looking for something out of place. She could determine his thoughts, she knew the strategy. If he was going to intimidate her, Fury was about to be sadly mistaken.  Alexandra smacked her feet together, the boots making a  _clack_  as her heels met.

_I have nothing to lose._

He finally broke the silence, “Doctor Tierney, I have to say, we are entirely grateful that you survived the attack on the former building.  It was a concern for some time that we had lost you—however, your call into the help line was quite intriguing. Do you care to explain what happened in your time with the war criminal?”

The smile grew against her face and she knew her eyes twinkled as she simply replied, “No.”

That prompted both of them to look at her, “Excuse me?” Fury asked. “Care to repeat that statement, Doctor Tierney?”

She sighed, the sound rolling through her nose, floating against her skin, “No, Director Fury, I do not believe that I want to explain what happened when I was in the company of one Loki Odinson. In fact, I think you’re going to answer some questions for me.”

His eye narrowed on her as Agent Hill’s mouth opened, just barely showing her teeth.  

“You explained to Doctor Latimer that you had information that only you would be able to give to me, for my ears only. Was that all a lie, Doctor Tierney?”

“Oh no,” she shook her head, “What I said was completely true. In fact, I believe I have the knowledge and ability to stop this attack. You’re going to let me out of here and I am going to finish this mission—the one that you haven’t entirely disclosed to me.”

Agent Hill’s shoulders dropped as Alexandra looked back and forth to them, “You see, it’s been made clear to me that the attack, the one directed at my office was planned.  I have realized since you’ve returned me under such  _hospitable_  conditions that you view me as a threat. However, I want the answers from your mouth, and then maybe—just maybe—I’ll help you in the long run.”

His lips curled as she continued, “The reason you sent Barton in to speak with me, after you gave him the information as to what I went though in my time with Loki was for a purpose.  What was it Director Fury?”

“You should be aware, Doctor Tierney, we were looking for your information.”

She snapped, “No, no—let’s not play games.  Come on, the time is ticking, is it not? Play along, Director, or I go silent and you can figure out how to manage another incoming assault without the usage of what you need.” She seethed with rage and reveled in using it for her advantage.

“Barton was an emotional ploy, Director. A very effective one, I have to give you credit for that.  It would have taken another Agent down into a shame spiral, had them looking for the approval of one that they felt a close bond.”

He grimaced at Alexandra, her first clue her deductions were correct, “We were attempting to get you to disclose the knowledge you have of what is to come.  We needed to determine if you knew of the imminent threat, the one  _inside_  S.H.I.E.L.D.”

Alexandra remained quiet, the shock of this admission frightening, but also confirming what she had in her mind.  
  
Fury looked over his screens before he began, “There have been hints, signs, that have told us that there is an infiltration in S.H.I.E.L.D.  We believe an agent has been compromised, and is working with the Chituari. We’ve had our suspicions, our concerns for some time.

“However, now that we are friends with some from other realms, we are getting word that they are reforming, regrouping for another attack.  Within the last few weeks we’ve had a spike in Gamma radiation throughout  Manhattan.  It’s a  warning that things may be blowing sky high once again.”

Hill breathed in, the only sound above the ticking of the monitors around them,   
“We know Loki has the knowledge to stop all of this. He was with them for an undisclosed but significant amount of time. He knows how to utilize their weaponry, understands their attack formations and the possibility for their entry strategy.  Without the tesseract, there is only one other reason for them to be entering our realm—that would be the Infinity Stone which is on Loki’s scepter.

“Now, this time around, we do not have someone like Selvig on our end opening up the gates. They’ve done it before, they know how to get here without having to endure another series of hoops, nor are they concerned about having someone put in a failsafe.  They learned from their last party, they have made changes to ensure success this time around.”

Rubbing his face, he shook his head, “The only way, as it has been explained to us by someone else who is very close to Loki, is that he would have the knowledge to use the scepter to stop an attack.  We’ve kept it under some of the tightest security imaginable.  While we tried several attempts to retrieve this information using the ‘regular’ means at our disposal, it was clear we were not going to get anywhere we needed in the time required.”

“Alexandra,” he said, looking at the woman who had lost the feeling in her limbs from shock, “we knew that it was imperative to use someone who would have a combination of strength and cunning that would match him.  We hoped that you would crack him and get him to help us, as a last resort.”

“However,” he began and trailed off.  Alexandra felt her breath quickening as Fury could not keep her gaze.  She decided to throw her own deductions in the mix.

“You used Loki as bait.”  

The room went silent once more.  With a small nod, Alexandra felt the gasp leave her body as she closed her own eyes.

“You used me as bait, as well.”

“In wars, in battle, there is collateral damage, Doctor.  You know this, and are well aware of these situations, even first hand. We are dealing with a threat that could become the undoing of this entire planet.  We had to utilize every option.”

She felt her chest caving in, “So, you used the sessions as a ploy.  Made it known that Loki was coming and going at the same time every day.  In the hopes that whoever was in the building would show themselves.  You were hoping that this person—thing—would show their hand and try to take Loki and find the stone.

“Answer me this, Director.  Did you know ahead of time, that the attack was happening that night?”

“Doctor Tierney…” Fury stated, his voice growing with impatience.

“Answer my question!” she screamed, “Did you know that we were going to be attacked? Did you have an inkling that two missiles were going to be fired at my office and burn me alive?”

Hill dropped her head and shifted in her feet, her jaw clenching against her mouth.  Her eyes flicked downward to Fury and back again at Alexandra. Without a word being spoken, she knew the extent of Fury’s answer.

“Godammit, you knew we were going to be killed and couldn’t care less. “

She heard Loki’s whisper in her ear, the hiss of his breath as it caressed her neck,  _“Your intelligence is wasted on them. They will betray you as all others do. It is in their nature…”_

Fury’s rage boiled over, “We kept people back in that building, we went ahead with a backup plan to get you out of that situation! I gave up good Agents in that fight, just to try and save you!” 

She raced towards his desk, slamming a hand down, “You did it to save your precious war criminal! You could not care less about me, or my well being!”

“You are under his spell, just like the rest of them,” Fury breathed, watching Alexandra shake from the rage thrumming through her body.

She leaned into his face, now pushing every limit she knew prior, “No, once again, Director Fury, you’ve proven yourself wrong.  You see, that’s where things have changed.  While you may all be fully aware of the situation between myself and Loki you have no understanding of what transpired between us and what I’ve learned.  I have a power you could only dream of achieving and you continue to underestimate me.” 

“What could you possibly accomplish, Agent Tierney?”

“I can get him to the Stone and use Loki to help us.”

“How?” Fury scoffed, “We’ve used his brother, he wants nothing to do with any of it.  He is intelligent, and manipulative and blinded by jealousy.  He will stop at nothing to get what he wants, and that’s a trip out of here, without having to pay a visit with his old friends.”

“You’re absolutely right, and he believes that I will get that for him.”

"Why in the world would he believe that?" Fury breathed, sitting back in his chair.

She drew a long sigh before the smile returned to her face, “He believes he’s gotten to me. He believes I’ve grown a weakness for him.  I can use this and control him.  In fact, I would say that I have him right where I want him.  He’ll lead me to the Stone and use it under my direction.”

“Have you lost your mind? You’re telling me with all that we’ve thrown at Loki that you have figured out how to manipulate him? Because you…” He trailed off, using some common courtesy before blurting out their dalliances. 

“Oh? You think that just because I’ve worked in an office for these past years that I’ve forgotten a thing or two about being in the field? You yourself said to me not more than two weeks ago that I would be able to fall back on those skills and use them to move this all forward.  Or was that just a play again to get what you want?

“I know exactly how good I am because I see how this entire situation has played right into my hands.  I’ve been under his skin, in his flesh and I am still standing here. On multiple occasions, when he could have killed me and walked away in this insane game you are all playing, he let me live.  He feels there is a connection between us and I have that power against him.”

Standing tall and looking Fury dead in the eyes, she pulled on the forces driving her, “I can manipulate him to think I am under his charms, allow him to believe I’ve lost myself in him. It’s impossible to believe—but you’d agree—so is this entire situation.  

“If I was Romanoff standing in front of you, you would not even be thinking twice about my actions. You’d listen, believe her and move forward.”

His silence prompted more of her anger, “What’s the matter, Director?  Concerned that you’ve turned me into an Agent once more?”

“So, you believe you can control him? How exactly do you see this playing out?”

She began to walk backwards, looking around the floor at the bare concrete walls and stark lighting, “I’ll need an incident, something in the building to deflect the attention away from us.  We have to look as if we’ve escaped.  It will draw out whoever is behind all of this from within S.H.I.E.L.D’s walls. They’ll immediately follow us to wherever you’ve placed the Stone and we’ll manage from there.”

Fury’s head dropped to his hands, “Doctor Tierney, you understand that everything you are saying at the moment is against every protocol we have in place.  I can’t give you back to this war criminal on the hopes that you’ll be able to control him with your feminine wiles.  I am certainly not giving you a powerful weapon and allow you attempt to make a being, who almost obliterated this city, use said weapon to save us. How can you guarantee that any of this will in fact work?”

Crossing her arms over her chest, she felt the hollow laugh rumble in her chest, “I told you, at the beginning when you put this mission front of me that I couldn’t guarantee success. 

"I can’t at this point either. However, you don’t have any other options at the moment, do you?"

He shook his head, glancing over the images in the cells and on his tablets.

Alexandra cut into his thoughts,  “So I guess we’re both stuck in this situation, wouldn’t you agree, Director Fury?”

He slumped lower into his chair, crossing one foot onto the knee of the other, “You’ve put me in a precarious position, Doctor.  I guess it’s only appropriate since I have done the same to you. There is no way you’ll know whether you can come out of this alive.  I can’t give you anyone to assist you, you will be on your own out there.”

“I’ve done it before, I’ll do it again.”

“Well, I’ll I can at least give you help to get out of this building.”  He turned to Hill, who gave only a bare movement of her head and eyes. In unison, they turned back to her.

"Where is the Stone?" Alexandra asked, although she had a strong feeling that she already knew the answer.

Fury confirmed her belief as the words left his mouth, “In Brooklyn.”

* * *

"You sure you have all of this, Tierney? I hate to say your chance of success is slim to none.”

Shaking her head, Alexandra sighed, “Thank you very much for the vote of confidence, Hill.  It’s always fun to have these conversations with you, quite the pick me up right before the shit hits the fan.”

With a long sigh, Hill watched Alexandra. The latter looked through the backpack in her hands, reciting the codes and memorizing the items inside.

Maria Hill looked paler than Alexandra ever remembered her, “This will only give you a small amount of time, it’ll be instantaneous once the doors are opened that you need to make it to the loading bay and go for transportation. We can’t give you any more than that, this has to remain between the three of us.”

Alexandra murmured to her hands, a strange feeling of sisterly camaraderie hitting her, “I understand Hill. You’re risking a great deal by helping me tonight.” Placing her hands on the counter of the decrepit wash room, she looked into the light blue eyes of her colleague.

“Thank you for this.”

Hill tapped her fingers against the door frame, keeping her head held high, “You didn’t deserve this treatment, Alexandra. I wish there was more I could have done for you.” Unable to respond, Alexandra tightened her lips and nodded once more.   

Just as soon as she opened up, showing some emotion, Hill went right back to business.

“It is imperative you’re in the vehicle and out the gates in two minutes. Beyond that, you’ll be locked inside.  Everything in that bag is the best we can give you on short notice. You’ll only have seconds for the restraints, they’ll activate on closure.

“I’ll be your eyes from the remote location. Can’t promise miracles, but we’ll do what we can. There will be times you’re going to be on your own with him. I’ve seen firsthand what that scepter can do, how it can be used.  I—“ she trailed off. Hill turned but paused before opening the door, deciding to say what was ready to burst from her mind.

“You’re an amazing psychiatrist, Alexandra.  You’re also a hell of a profiler. You didn’t deserve any of this, not now and not back then.”

At the  _slam_  of the door, Alexandra was alone again. With a shudder perking up her skin, she pulled the leather jacket tight against her body.  Throwing the backpack around her shoulders, she crouched to the floor, and pressed her hands against her ears. 

Closing her eyes, she waited, preparing for her next action.

_On your feet, twenty paces, turn right, three paces, then left. Code: 015230. Hallway to next floor, first door.  Third truck…_

Her body shook from the blast as it reverberated down the hallway.  Smoke immediately billowed under the door and she covered her mouth with her sleeve as she raced into the black.  The door onto the cell levels lay in front of her. With a short leap, she bounded it and raced down the hallway.

_Eighteen, nineteen, twenty…turn…one, two, three…turn._

In the thick smoke, coating and stinging her eyes, she fumbled around for the keypad. Once they met the cool panel, she fumbled for the keys, pressing the code that was imbedded in her mind. Hearing the  _clang_  of the multiple locks on retraction, she flew inside the heavy steel. 

Racing into the cell, the change from blindness to unbearable light disoriented her enough that she was taken off her feet. She was swept up by a body slamming it’s arms and knees onto hers into a wall.  Her eyes were blurry from tears, but she could make out the black hair and deep green eyes that positioned mere inches from her face.

"Get off of me! I’m here to get you out!" she spat and Loki’s hands flew off of her body.  

His mouth was open, gaping at  her body, practically frozen from what Alexandra assumed was shock. Instantly, alarms were blaring in the hallway, the sounds of movement and screams from the other cells and Agents running onto the scene. 

“There’s no time, we have to go now!” She grabbed him by the arm and he ran with her, soon flanking her left as they hit the next door.

Upon opening, blessedly cool and clean air filled her lungs and perked up her face.  There was a holler, an order given behind them and Alexandra went to grab the stun gun from her bag.

She was met with the sight of Loki spinning with one swift movement to his left and knocking the agent in his solar plexus.  Before he hit the ground the two raced to the nondescript truck that sat in the loading bay.  She yanked open the door, Loki sliding in next to her. Yanking the keys from the visor, she hit the ignition, just as more hollering and orders rang out behind them.

"Alexandra, move!" Loki bellowed as pops peppered the side of the truck. Loki grabbed her shoulder, pulling her down to the gearshift. The driver side glass shattered and exploded, showering them both.  She slammed her foot onto the gas and they screeched off the level, careening through the barricade before flying down the darkened street.  She tilted up her head enough to get them onto the darkened city streets. 

_Right then left, onto the Drive…get to the Bridge._

“What in hel is happening?” Loki screamed, followed by a guttural groan.  Alexandra was finally able to sit upright, noting the multiple cracks in the windshield.  She tried not to move too much, as shards of glass glittered all over her legs and feet on the floorboards.

When she looked over at him she gasped, red liquid dripping down his arm, the hole punched by his shoulder. 

“Fuck, you’ve been hit,” she hissed as she simultaneously tried to pay attention to the roads and to Loki.

He growled, as his fingers dug into the hole, “It’s no matter.”

Loki’s lithe fingers twisted and turned until he punctuated his movements with a roar. The small metal piece floated in his saturated hands.  He slammed back into the worn upholstery, holding his good hand against his shoulder. Alexandra flew in and out of the few cars on the street at the late hour.  She hit the curve, the car’s wheels squealing under the pressure as they flew up to the opening onto the Brooklyn Bridge.

“Do you have any concept what you’re doing? Or are we about to perish in this machine at your hands?” Loki grunted, as they bounced around freely in the interior.

“If you want us in one piece, then shut up and let me do what I need to do right now!”

The truck groaned under the high speeds, lights flashing around them as they flew over the East River. Loki began mumbling in the language she remembered from the last time he performed a healing. Right before they reached the opposite end of the bridge, his arms fell to his sides, a long and shuddering sigh escaping his lips.

They raced through the side streets, as she flew down to the basin, through Brooklyn Bridge Park.  The truck slowed to a halt, as silent as possible, coming to rest on the side of a building. It gave the appearance of a factory, but Alexandra knew the building’s true purpose.

“What is this?” he murmured, looking up into the window at the blackened area.

“It’s where they are guarding the Stone. Once we are in, we will be able to locate the holding room.”

His voice was weak, but his eyes bored into her skin,“Why are you doing this?”

Alexandra cleared her mind before answering, knowing if she believed it, her words would sound like the truth.

“To get you what you want, Loki.”  She hissed as he grabbed her arm and looked at her, green eyes gleaming in the dimmed light.

Loki skimmed over her face, a flash—hope, desire, fury—before they returned to the cold and dark visage they employed.

"They betrayed me,” she said with a huff.

"You’ll get what you want."

With a snap of his jaw, he retracted his arm from her.  As they approached the unlit and nondescript door, it opened with a slow clack and they walked inside. Alexandra knew Hill was to blame, and she sent up a prayer of thanks to her. As they walked through the dimmed hallway, she remembered that the far end would have a sharp corner, leading to the holding room.

Alexandra drew out one of the devices from her bag—the tiny pod that set off a highly concentrated dose of a temporary nerve toxin.  At the end of the appropriated hallway, she set it on the floor and slid it down. When both guards hit the ground, she walked up to them and hit more buttons on the pad, the doors sliding open in front of them.  When it closed again, and Alexandra scanned the room for the panel to display the scepter, she felt Loki’s cool breath on her neck.

“I must say, this is not what I expected, Doctor.  I expected you to fight me down to the death, to keep me from this room for a very long time. I believed we would all burn before you’d let this happen.” His mouth barely touched the shell of her ear, and she cursed her body as it reacted with a shudder.

“Things change, Loki.”  She felt the hand snake across her neck and down her chest.  

“What is it, my dear? It could not have been just my words, it must have been something else to change that complicated mind of yours.”

She turned in his embrace, their lips mere millimeters away from each other, “I know where my loyalty lies.”

His mouth opened, heat pouring out, when a flash on a panel garnered their attentions.  They crossed the room and stood in front of a large casket, lights and sensors going off repeatedly.  Alexandra looked for the panel that would allow her access.  As she did, Loki waved his hand over it—prompting the latches to open.  Alexandra turned to Loki, her eyes widening at his action.

“It remembers who I am as it’s previous owner. It will respond to me.”  The two of them stared at the golden handle with the interlocking lines that flowed upwards to the curved hilt.  Like a moth to a flame, Alexandra’s eyes were mesmerized by the bluish green stone that glowed in Loki’s presence.

She could hear his breath quickening as he reached in to grasp around the shimmering base of the scepter. With precise movement, Alexandra dipped into the bag off her shoulder.  However, she froze at the hand that laced around her neck, accompanied by the feeling of razor-sharp steel against her Carotid artery.

_“Hello, Alexandra.”_


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexandra is now face to face with the mastermind of the attack on her life. With Manhattan under siege, will she be able to stop the incoming forces? More importantly, can she convince Loki to help her in the process?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for a month in between updating. This being the penultimate chapter, the finale will be on it's way soon. Thank you to all my readers and subscribers...this has been a great journey.

Alexandra breath was trapped in her throat, the air tight and close while the blade pressed into her neck. She attempted to remain focused, to hold onto consciousness as a second hand wrapped around her arm.

"Oh, Alex, I am disappointed in you."

Alexandra closed her eyes at the recognition of the voice behind her.   _David_.

He joined S.H.I.E.L.D right after the battle, the ‘new recruit’ to manage the loss of staff from the recovery process in the city. His ability to relate with his patients demonstrated an instinctual understanding of their pain.

The perfect timing of David rescuing Alexandra the night Loki went after her meant he knew her routine. He was waiting for the inevitable moment they could run into each other.  David would have known when they were both in the building, when an attack would bring a high probability of their deaths.   _How did I not see it all along?_

She watched as Loki turned to the voice, his eyes narrowing at the person behind her.  Alexandra could see the wheels turning, the patterns forming as to how he could use this situation to his advantage.  Fear shot across her skin like a jolt of electricity. She watched Loki’s breath regulate while his mouth opened into a small grin.

David  _tsked_ , “Alexandra, aiding and abetting a known criminal throughout the realms?  Quite the reputation you’re claiming for yourself.”

“Well now,” Loki purred as he watched Alexandra being pulled backwards, “You are not who you appear to be, are you my Chitauri friend?”

“So quick to determine my true nature, Loki.  It is good to see you’ve gotten that cunning sense of deduction back in your veins.”

_David was one of them this whole time._

Loki took one step forward, his fingers resting on the base of the blade, never taking his eyes from Alexandra.  She did not appreciate the fact that once again, her life was balanced in the hands of her demi-God patient.  

David’s voice returned, low, guttural, “It is a shame that we need this scepter to complete our plans.  It would have been much more enjoyable to watch you burn in the flames alongside your new friends. Pity…”

Alexandra could not move against the blade, She felt the skin breaking from pressure cutting into her skin. David’s stance immobilized her left side.  However, her right, although pinned against David’s body, still held the knapsack from Hill.  Inside were several items that she could use as a weapon, the best choice being the stun gun.  _I can reach it, if we can keep him talking._  Her eyes flicked over to Loki. The movement was subtle, instant, but Alexandra caught it. 

“No. Not this time,” Loki said.

Loki grabbed the scepter in one hand and with a graceful  _swish_  through the air, he swung from his right. The tip of the blade slammed into David’s neck and with a twist, Loki sliced open the skin. He pulled Alexandra with his free hand, a thin red line bursting onto her neck.  She gasped from the burn of the wound as she hit the floor, expecting blood to pour onto her fingers.  

Shocked, she watched a few red droplets drip down onto her shaking hands. The wound was superficial, mainly from the sharp blade that, just moments before, indented her skin.  

However, she choked back a scream when she turned to face her attacker.  David lay on the floor with his throat slashed open. Blood pumped outward, creating a maroon pool around his head.  His eyes glowed a sickening shade of blue that Alexandra recalled from her terrifying memories.  With a bubbling gurgle, Loki and Alexandra realized he attempts to laugh.  A deep guttural sound that matched the smirk that had formed on his face.

“You think this is over, Loki?  It has only begun.  I did what I was brought here to accomplish—have you initiate the stone once more.  The portal will open and now—now you will see the full…” He coughed several times and the blood splattered onto his chin, dripping down his neck.  

Alexandra knelt next to him and gripped his face in her hands, “You bastard! Where is the portal?” 

“You…will…burn.” His lips kept the smile, as his eyes went fixed and still.  

The blue glow faded and his eyes returned to a shade of deep green.   _He was probably human once.  I wonder if he ever felt anything when he became one of them._ Alexandra looked up to Loki. His eyes remained upon the blood marring the clean steel of the scepter.

She fumed, “Why didn’t you give me a chance? We could have gotten information from him! I had the stun….”

Loki cut her off without changing his gaze, “This thing had one purpose: he was here to kill you, to bait me.  The Chitauri’s goal is simple: to find where the scepter was hidden.  Once found, this being’s mission was completed.  Most likely you will find a similar scar on him for a location device, and now the rest of the army is aware that the scepter is found and active.”

His eyes returned to Alexandra’s, “He would have killed you so I could watch you die.  You were inconsequential to him. It would have given him great pleasure to see me lose my composure over your death.”

Alexandra could feel her mouth open, her eyes softening.  Loki silenced her with a wave of his hand, “Don’t look too closely into my actions.  I still need you, Doctor Tierney.” He turned around and walked away from the pool of blood and Alexandra’s shocked gaze.

She rolled her eyes, “Wonderful,” she murmured under her breath. “I was hoping you’d at least have the common courtesy of some concern over my well-being.  Guess I was wrong again.”

Alexandra followed him to the large screen that showed Manhattan and Brooklyn.  She held her hand to her neck, the wound still stinging as it attempted to close. Looking at the board, Alexandra could make out some of the varying sections of the S.H.I.E.L.D sites all over the five boroughs.  Lights flashed as more illuminated during the scan of the lower half of the city.

“The Chitauri need a portal to return here. A device that will break the barriers of your realm to allow access for their weaponry and infantry.  The portal needs an influx of gamma rays to break the atmosphere around your planet.  That’s why they needed the Tesseract for their first attempt.” Her eyebrow raised, giving Loki a sideways glance at his flippant knowledge of that attack that was designed for him.

“So,” she said, her fingers tapping across the screen to open the fields, “we’re searching for open areas where there’s a spike in radiation?”

“Gamma, to be precise. The stone is branded on that wavelength. When a large amount is released, we will find the portal.”

Alexandra pulled up a few more screens, plugging in the best transponders in the area to search for possible targets. Without looking at him, she continued to speak, “Could I be hallucinating or are you going to assist me with stopping this incoming assault?”

“Wrong again, Doctor.  I need this portal with the Infinity Stone to return to Asgard.”

Alexandra stopped moving her hands, retracting them to her sides.   _So that’s what this is all about, his triumphant return home for a hostile takeover._

As they stood in silence, she felt him graze against her skin, his breath on her neck, “Think of it this way, Doctor. You’ll finally be rid of me. No more fun times on your couch and in your office.”

She turned toward his eyes, the Jade orbs focused on her mouth, “They weren’t all bad, were they Loki? Here I was thinking we were having a good time together. I mean, we had long and revealing discussions. We confided in each other things very few in the realms could know. Was I not satisfactory to you in every way imaginable?”  

She could not tell what prompted her to be so provocative in his presence. The profiler wanted a reaction, to move him to react emotionally.

He scoffed, “I do not find picking your lifeless body up and fixing it, Doctor Tierney, a fun time.  However, I do find that I will miss our banter.”  A finger traced along her jawline, running across the flush of her lips.  He paused for a moment before he spoke again.

“Never have I met a mortal woman with such intelligence, such persistence.  Most of your kind would have been unable to maintain your level of stamina with me.” His eyebrow raised and she found her own mouth curling into a smile. 

The quiet  _hum_  of the computers filled the silence of the room.  He moved his finger from her mouth to her cheek, closing the distance. Alexandra murmured when her lips were mere inches from Loki’s.

“Maybe Midgardians are not so bad after all. Maybe there is something worth saving in this wretched hole?”

Loki sighed with a huff from his nose, “Perhaps. However, that is not my goal.”

He focused on the screens as the sensors flashed all over lower Manhattan.  A few turned red as more illuminated the board.  Alexandra could sense the anticipation of what would happen, another attack. The air was electric while her skin grew cold.  

“There is activity in this area,” he said, his eyes growing wider, “Gamma is spiking, the portal is opened.”

His eyes turned to the Infinity Stone, now glowing within the scepter grasped in hand.

“They will enter this realm soon, most likely tonight. They have grown and evolved from the last invasion. They will use the knowledge they gained to make this attempt successful.”

At that moment, the lights in the room brightened and dimmed.  Loki groaned and hunched over, grasping his side.  She thought she saw his eyes close as his body moved away from her.  Momentarily, she was concerned for him, the light on the stone glowing bright before returning to normal.  Loki’s chest expanded and contracted irregularly, as he attempted to keep his body upright. She could see his hand loosen it’s grip on the staff.   

For a brief second, Alexandra felt her hand going towards the glowing blue stone.  Sensing the opportunity, she reached to grab ahold of the staff when Loki’s eyes opened.  He roared at Alexandra, a return to the demeanor she remembered from their days in her office.

“Have you gone mad, Doctor? If you touch this, you will be hit with the force of the power within this stone and the energy that is barely maintained within the crystal.  You will be blown clear across this room!”

She pushed her arms against him, words spilling out, “Lies! I saw Romanoff with this in her hands! She closed the last portal with this!”

He leaned into her, baring his teeth, “Romanoff never used the scepter as a weapon, only to close the portal.  This stone was a failsafe, built to allow access to close down the Tesseract. If she had wielded it in a way to harm others, use its power, she would have been destroyed from the inside out.  Without protection—and understanding it’s properties—this stone is unstable.

“I assure you, there will be no failsafe this time.  David, whatever that thing is on the floor, would have ensured that there is little to keep this portal from closing. It will depend on how to close the power source of this new portal.

“Which is why it is the perfect conduit to return me to Asgard.  After that, I doubt the Chitauri will care much your realm.”  Alexandra couldn’t help her rage spewing forth from his words. She slammed her fists into his chest, his eyes widening at her bravado.

“You’ll leave and we’ll be left with this— this alien army? We will have to find a way to stop another attack that you have brought upon us? How the hell can you do that? How can you leave when you have the ability to stop them?”

His lips curled around his teeth as he hissed at her, “I have seen nothing but death, violence and decimation between the people of this realm! What would be the purpose of assisting your kind into another string of atrocities and disasters among all of you? “When given the free chance your kind rips each other into shreds!”

He stepped away from her, pacing like an animal at it’s prey.

“I would have been a benevolent ruler of your race. I would have made sure the successful mortals be put to good use, while the rest of you were removed from each other! Eons of time and mortals continue to destroy each other. You degrade the moral fabric of your own society and entrench yourselves into a decrepit hole.”

Walking towards her, his thin fingers pointed to her chest, “You think this is all a game, Doctor Tierney? I hate to deliver the hard facts to you. This is real, this is instinctual nature, _human_  nature at its best.  You find yourself with this foolish desire to discover the good in others? In the end—it’s all about who can get themselves to the top of the mountain.  

“Have you not suffered enough in your lifetime? You’ve been betrayed by those who claim to have your interests, who would have thrown you into a fire and let you burn? Liars and killers, do you see yourself in those ranks Doctor Tierney? Do you consider yourself one of them?”

He grabbed her arm, pulling her close to him, “Can you not see how they have taken you for granted? They toss your intelligence, your wit, aside for their ultimate goals.”

She closed her eyes and shook her head, the loose curls hitting her cheeks, “I am what I have been trained to do. I am an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. I am a profiler. I am—I am—“ and just as she was about to continue, a screeching siren went off. 

“It found the Gamma spike.” she gasped, her eyes searching over the red lights on the screen.  With a flash, they all converged onto one site—the base of the Brooklyn Bridge.

“It’s close, so close.  We have to go— _now_.”  

She grabbed her bag and the two headed out into the hallway.  Alexandra heard the  _clapping_ of feet as they closed in on them.  Loki began to hold up the scepter to blast through the Agents, when she grabbed his arm backwards.

“No! Not here!”

She could not be responsible for more deaths than already spent on her and this mission. She yanked out a stun grenade and threw it towards the increasing sounds.  The bang followed the bright flash and reverberated around them.  Loki grabbed Alexandra’s hand as they flew through the dazed Agents and down the long corridor towards the door.

They were almost free, until she saw the lone Agent standing against the door.  Fear pit in her stomach, knowing she could never get another bomb off in time.  Loki held up his blade and she saw it fly towards the Agent, just as he pulled his weapon to fire.

“Get down!” he bellowed as the base of the scepter slammed into the Agent’s chest.  

The Agent landed ricocheted off the wall and fell at Alexandra’s feet. She checked and saw he was unconscious, but still alive.  Crashing through the doors, they flew into the cool evening air.

It was then she saw the pulsating blue light, no more than a few hundred yards from them.  It was a wide open area in the park by the Hudson River. With a groan, she remembered the area well.  When she was little, she would sit by the edge of the water and watch boats float past. She counted as the cars drove over the Bridge, and she would name the colors of the cars as they flew into Manhattan.

Now it was covered in blue light, shimmering from a point at the waterline.  

Throwing her backpack on her shoulders, thankful for her prior stamina, she broke out into a sprint down to the grassy area.  As she ran, she could make out the large cylinders, now lighting up from base to the top. She knew they were only moments from an invasion that would be focused directly on them.

 _What’s the power source for this if it’s not the Tesseract?_ Alexandra crept closer to the large cylindrical mechanism. Every few seconds a burst would shoot upwards, changing the colors of the black night into blues, greens and reds.

Suddenly it turned a steady stream, the sky opening and expanding.  Alexandra thought she saw a new set of stars, until she realized they were moving.  The lights flashed and soon fell through the sky, immediately circling around lower Manhattan.

The frontline of the Chitauri invasion was looking for only one thing: the source of the light that brought them forth.  They were not here to win this realm for anyone, they were no one’s army.  This was a search and recover mission—to find the stone.  Alexandra had no doubt, however, they’d destroy every inch of land they could to find their goal.

She had to close the portal. As her hands reached outward, shocks flew out and onto her skin.  She gasped from the heat that pulsed through her body.  Gamma radiation ran throughout the cylinders, glowing periodically. She looked into the core to find multiple blue stones glowing from within.

_But they couldn’t be….the Hydra weapons were all destroyed…or were they?_

Alexandra gasped as she saw the flow of aliens begin to fire onto buildings and moving vehicles as they closed in on Brooklyn. She could feel her eyes growing, her body shrinking, as the fear flooded her body. 

 _This is last year, all over again.  Only this time, I am right at the front of this massacre._ She was sweating in the cold evening air, and she knew it would only become worse.

She realized, her companion was not next to her.  It was when she turned, her hand flew to her mouth, holding back the terrified shriek that threatened to escape.

Loki strode towards her, his plain black clothes from S.H.I.E.L.D replaced with the armor she recognized from the videos.  The visage of gold facets and dark green plates adorned his arms and legs.  A long, green cape flowed behind him, kicking up in the light breeze. The gold horns rested on his head, gleaming in the darkness.

Alexandra stood in front of the portal, her arms stretched outward, “I won’t let you do this Loki! You are not escaping without using that stone to help us!”

His face never changed, eyes cold and unfeeling, as he stared at her, “Doctor, get out of my way.”

“No, Loki!  You will not allow this to happen by your hand! I will not let you have the blood of more victims connected to your name!”

He pointed the scepter at the ground, no more than a few feet in front of her.  A blast of blue light slammed into the dirt, flying up and onto Alexandra’s body. She slid back a few feet from the impact, but maintained her stance.

He paused as he held the scepter to his waist, “Doctor Tierney, I will use this to get to that portal.  I’ve done it before, I will do it again. Please, do not make me show you exactly what I am capable of when my goal is within reach.”  

She shook her head in the negative, holding her muscles tight to remain in position, “I will not let you become what they say you are, Loki! I refuse to believe you are a cruel and heartless being!”

Her hands moved to the front of her body, foolishly attempting to hold back the energy  pulsating from him and the scepter. She turned up her palms, opening her body as he continued to stride towards her.

“Please! You didn’t save me that night because you only needed me for this!”  

Her words made him stop, his cold visage firmly focused on her face.

“You’ve said it before—we are alike because we have been through hell and back.  We’ve survived torture and abandonment—we are connected!

“Loki, you may believe that you are alone, that this is your only chance to prove your worth! This is your chance to prove all of them wrong! You have someone in all these realms who sees who you are—and that you are not a monster.

“That person is me! If you listen to my words, you’ll realize I’m right!” she screamed. His mouth opened slightly, Alexandra watching her arms shake in sync with her labored breathing.  

Time slowed around them, like the night of the attack in her office. Just like the day he healed her wounds, reminiscent of every time she was euphoric in his arms.  She watched his shoulders drop, his eyes widen at her words.  

For a moment, she did not see the demi-God, full of rage and fire that coursed through time and space for revenge.  The anger that was underneath the surface of his pale skin left him, as if he was released from an invisible set of chains.

What remained was not a man, but a boy.  A boy who was hearing, truly hearing, for the first time that he had someone who cared. Someone who needed him, and was willing to help him for the first time that he could remember in multitude of years in his existence. His eyes lost the fury. In the darkness of the night, the white framing the pale green in his eyes grew.  For the first time, Alexandra saw his fear at the possibility—of allowing her to help him.

Loki’s mouth opened, but as he attempted to form words, his eyes went upward.  Pulling back, he fired off two shots above her head as Alexandra heard the explosions go off around her.

_They’ve found us._

She crouched to the ground, her feet vibrating from the shockwaves underneath.  Alexandra watched Loki fight off incoming Chitauri perched on their flying chairs, firing off their own beams of blue light as he countered them.

As one alien slammed into the ground, he rolled forward while Loki attempted to hit him with multiple blasts.  The alien easily bounced them off his armored plate. He grinned with evil glee at discovering the final destination for their invasion.  

With a flash, Loki disappeared and a light flashed again. Alexandra turned and blinked her eyes several times to the sight in front of her. There were no less than a dozen identical Lokis that framed the portal, each holding an identical scepter.

All the Lokis laughed as they moved forward, in sync, “Hard to find what you’re looking for when there’s so many of us?  Would you agree, my simple minded friend?”

The alien growled in response, charging toward he duplicates. As a whole, they disappeared and reappeared, encircling the area.

In a rage, the Chitauri flung his staff towards a grouping of copies, unwittingly hitting the real Loki and careening him backward.

The scepter flew from his hands, and he hit the ground with a thud and a groan.  The long, golden staff spiked off the ground and slid a few yards: landing right in front of Alexandra’s feet.  She froze, almost in disbelief that it was within her grasp.  Ignoring Loki’s warnings, she went to retrieve it, without care for herself. If her life ended while she was able to end this insanity, then so be it. 

Alexandra saw her chance. As she turned to the portal, she saw Loki, still dazed and only feet from the Chitauri soldier. The being bared down on him, readying for the kill.  A long handled blade gleamed in the blue light,  Loki’s mouth growing wide at the realization of his imminent death.

Without hesitation, she pulled herself up and maneuvered the heavy scepter. She felt as if she was hit with a bolt of energy, pulsing through her hands and thrumming throughout her body. With a scream, she swung towards the alien.  

A burst of light exploded forth, directly hitting the alien’s lifeless body and catapulting it hundreds of feet into the air. However, the blast reverberated backwards, sending Alexandra towards the edge of the park.  She crashed into the ground before rolling to a stop.  Her prone body stilled at the precipice of the concrete which framed the edge of the waters of the Hudson.

In the distance, she heard a howl accompanied by a scream of her name.  She saw nothing, but felt the shaking of ice cold hands as they grasped her face. Without opening her eyes, she noted the weight upon her body, the heavy armor and the fabric of a cape against her skin. The final sensation was of tendrils grazing against her cheek as it disappeared into the darkness.

She heard a voice, breaking apart, “Alexandra, no…what have you done?”

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Alexandra has been mortally wounded, Loki must choose between fulfilling his ultimate plan of retuning to Asgard, or saving her and Manhattan.

 

****

She heard the howl, his scream, as it filled the open air around them.  As the cool fingers grasped around her face, the words poured into her ears.

_“Alexandra…no….no…please…”_

She could hear his chanting, faint and low, just as she drifted away.  Alexandra entered into the darkness, away from the pain and agony that had overtaken her body.  The pulsing heat that had scorched her skin ceased. All that remained were the fading sounds of voices and screams in the distance.

With a halting gasp, she snapped up as if she’d been hit by lightning.  Whatever magic Loki used was able to bring her from unconsciousness, but little else.

High pitched screeching, accompanied by low rumbling, became louder and louder in her ears.  The darkness faded, lights flashed like explosions against a night sky.  Alexandra realized she was watching the Chitauri enter the airspace over Manhattan while attempting to destroy the buildings on the lower West Side.  

The ground shook underneath her body as explosions rocked across the river. However, the light of the portal was a beacon in the night—perfect for the incoming invaders to track and locate.  Three Chitauri dropped in front of them, watching Loki as he protectively crouched over Alexandra.

“Ah, Asgardian, just where we expected you, and what perfect timing. Are you ready and willing to die, now that you’re surrounded?”

“Never!” Loki hissed, “You’ll never take me.  You’ll learn how far and wide my wrath will flow towards every inch of this galaxy.

“You promised me ‘that which was worse than pain’? You cannot fathom what I will bring to your kind. I’ll hunt down every Chituari, every ally you’ve ever made. Make no mistake—I will destroy you all.”

As he rose to his full height, Alexandra watched the soldiers back pedal from him, readying their weapons in anticipation of Loki’s move.  His cape flowed behind him, his hands opened and closed, as if flames would burst from his fingers.  

“I assure you, when the time comes for me to meet your master, I promise it will be a duel to end the realms!”

Alexandra’s eyes cleared enough to focus on Loki, towering above her body.  With a roar, he grabbed the scepter that was on Alexandra’s side and began firing at the incoming soldiers.  One by one they fell in front of them, Loki deflecting the rounds that slammed into their vicinity.

Although Loki was able to counter the attacks and keep the Chitauri from advancing on their position, more continued to fall from the opening in the sky.  Much like the previous attack, they would continue until the Infinity Stone and scepter were obtained.

The portal had to be closed, or, Loki had to return through it—that was the only way Alexandra could see this invasion coming to an end.  Alexandra’s eyes roamed to the sky, just in time to hear the roar from a squadron of F-80’s as they flew overhead. They zeroed in on the areas in Manhattan that were under siege.

_Its only a matter of time before S.H.I.E.L.D will converge on Brooklyn Park to destroy the portal and us, in the process._

_We have to shut the portal down, otherwise we’ll be dead within minutes._

A groan escaped her lips, as she struggled to move.  Alexandra wanted to get up, crawl away from the firefight that was raging mere feet from her body.  She could make out her hands, the long marks running up her fingers and arms like maroon lightning strikes. Her stomach lurched and she heaved from the pain that now exploded within her abdomen.

Loki’s body rotated to find Alexandra grasping at the blades of grass under her fingers. Dropping the scepter on the ground next to her, with careful hands, he pulled her body against his chest. Alexandra moaned from the agony that was now coursing throughout her nerves.  Every movement created more pain, an uncontrollable fire within her.

Shushing her, his voice returned, hoarse and halting, “Don’t move, you have broken bones, bleeding.” His hands floated over her body, assessing all the areas that were in desperate need of attention.  His head shook, disbelief in his eyes and laced within his words.

“Why? Why did you do that? I warned you—”

Her body was varying from scorching pain to abject numbness.  She was unable to focus on his face for more than a second before her vision blurred.  It was a pain she knew far too well, recalling images of her hell in the desert.  She knew she was in bad shape, her body beginning to shut down in an attempt to heal her internal wounds.  Her voice floated from her lips, as the act of speaking caused shockwaves in her chest.  His face rested only inches from hers, the fingers of his right hand glancing on her cheek.

“Because, I believe in you Loki.  I believe that you never lost the part of your soul that Odin destroyed. It wasn’t extinguished by your fall and the choices you’ve made since the day you learned of your true parentage.

“You have to stop them. Stop them from destroying New York.”

“I—I can’t, I— I,” he stuttered as his eyes flared around the area, fists clenching at the sight of the Chitauri reforming their attack stance in the skies above them. They waited for Loki to make his move, how he would respond in the next wave of attacks.

He bared his teeth as they gleamed like fangs, “I’ll decapitate them, one by one. There will be none left, I’ll make sure of it.”

Her breaths were shorter, faster as she spoke, “There’s no time, Loki! Those are S.H.I.E.L.D fighter planes and they will incinerate this entire area to stop the invasion. You know as well as I do, they’ll blow this place into a hole without a care to who gets killed in the process!”

She coughed, a spot of blood hitting her hand. Loki gasped quietly as he adjusted Alexandra in his arms against his body

“Loki, leave through the portal. Escape while you can.”

“What?” he gasped, his face contorting into a scowl.

“Escape to Asgard and use the Stone to return home. The Chitauri will be destroyed in the counter-attack. It’s the only way.

“Go, and complete what you have desired, for all this time.” She groaned again as her chest constricted, each inhale making it harder for her to breathe and focus properly.

“No, Alexandra, I can’t. I can’t leave you. I can heal you again, I can—I just need time!”

Her body was showered by an upshot of dirt and gravel from another explosion in their vicinity.  Loki growled with the ferocity of a lion against an intruder in his midst. His scepter fired off multiple rounds, taking down aliens in the sky and then on the ground around them.

However, Loki was easily outnumbered as five more Chitauri solders landed within their reach.  They circled Loki and Alexandra, enjoying the moment, anticipating who would strike first.  

One chuckled in a mechanical voice, “Looks like we have you, Asgardian, but do not fret. We’ll take good care of your companion over there.”

A second mused, “Yes, we’ll show her the same hospitality we gave to you when you joined us so long ago.  We won’t have to worry about her going off to conquer some realm.  No, she will be ours, for as long as we can keep her broken body alive.”

“Sorry to disappoint you all, but it’s time to say goodbye,” Loki growled. With a slam of the staff into the ground, a wave of blue light flowed outward to the intruders. They catapulted through the air while beams of blue light pulsed from their bodies.  

Loki looked at the scepter, then to Alexandra.  He rushed to her side, grabbing her and lifting her off the ground.  She tried but failed to hold back the scream from the movement. Heat, blaring heat, and pain flared over every inch of her skin.

“I’ll use this damned Stone to heal you. I will not lose you, Alexandra.”  She lay like a rag doll in his arms, limbs askew and bent at unnatural angles.

As he carried her back to the portal, Alexandra could see the flashing lights and sirens as S.H.I.E.L.D and police cars flew over the bridge towards the park.  They had little time before they would be surrounded.

“Loki,” she moaned.  The darkness was beginning to cascade over her eyes, the pain dissipating.  She recognized that the lack of feeling was a sign her body would be unable to hold onto consciousness. Soon she would slip into the darkness, and likely never return.

Loki rested Alexandra on the ground, adjacent to his feet. Searching the skies, his voice boomed throughout the vicinity and into the skies.

“Your ranks have forgotten that I have been taught the ways of this Stone! Do your feeble minds realize how the scepter has been advanced? I have full and terrifying power within my reach!

“It is time to regard the wrath of my knowledge!”

Holding onto the staff it began to glow in his hands.  Alexandra watched as beams flew forth from the stone.  Dozens of flying beings in the skies above Manhattan and Brooklyn ceased their movements, entranced by the sight.  

The portal began to spin faster as Loki held the scepter over his head, the light from within glowing with the intensity of a thousand suns.

“You are under my command and I am ordering you to leave this realm, never to return!”

He dropped to his knees, the sweat pouring from his face, as his eyes glowed the same blue as the stone.  With a primal scream, he held the scepter up as high as he could and the light blasted forward.

Alexandra watched the black skies as the armies returned through the gaping hole of the portal. She could not focus, could not keep her vision on one area before it blackened again.  She struggled to remain conscious, if only because she realized what Loki had accomplished.

_He sent them back.  He stopped the attack._

Her eyes opened and closed as Loki grasped her face, a quiet sob running from his lips.  

“They will return for the stone once the effects wear off,” he gasped. His hands ran over her face and threaded her hair, gently caressing her face with his fingers. He was breathing heavily, eyes close to dilated.  

The pain left her body, while warmth replaced the sensation of pain.  Loki held her face close to his, chanting the words she remembered from the last healing.  The sounds of sirens filled her ears as the calvary from S.H.I.E.L.D had made their way into the park.

“Loki,” she whispered into the long hairs that brushed against her face.  He was shaking his head, negating her unspoken words.  His belief in his magic to fix her broken body,  Alexandra knew, was too late.

“Loki, please, listen to me. You must leave.  You have to, S.H.I.E.L.D will capture you and you will never see daylight again. You have to go!” She groaned from the remnants of pain that flared in her almost numb body, her eyes widening and closing with every halting breath.

“No. No,” he hissed, his teeth grinding against each other, “I cannot, I will not leave you.”

“You will, and you must.  You have work to do in Asgard.  Whether it’s your ultimate plans or a truce between you and them, you have to leave.  You know yourself that trying to heal me is futile. You’re too weak and I am too broken.  Finally, it seems this body has hit its limit.”

Her fingers were cold, unnaturally cold.  A sense of calm rose over her, as if the fight that had been raging ceased.  Alexandra could not help but smile at Loki.

Two tears streaked down his cheeks, dropping from his jaw onto her arms.  She tried to nod, but her head refused to move.  Loki shuddered while his hands scrambled to hold Alexandra while searching around the area.  He grasped the scepter with his free hand, the blue stone shining in the glow of the open portal.

“You didn’t perish when you held the scepter for a reason, Alexandra.  This has to work, it has to…” he trailed off.  He tightened her hands around the cool metal and dropped his mouth to her cheek.  

“Alexandra, you must use the scepter on me.  Take command of my consciousness.  The damage to your body is far too strong for my magic alone. You need the power within the Infinity Stone.”

Her ears rang like a cathedral at noon, combined with a sharp metallic taste in her mouth. With the last bit of strength, she willed her hands to grip around the scepter as Loki held them in his own.  He placed the tip of the hilt to his chest, the area of his heart.  He closed his eyes and inhaled with a stilted breath. Loki could not contain the terror in his voice while he spoke with trepidatious words.

“Take my knowledge, my power. You must believe you can heal your body—with mine.”

With a flash, Alexandra let forth a gasping scream, the sensation of pure energy racing through every inch of her body. It was if she could sense every cell, ever fiber that had been ripped and broken become whole and healed. Her eyes shot open, the world around her appearing to glow with life. Each star in the sky, every blade of grass pulsated with its own life force. Her mouth dropped open. With each breath released, she felt sparks of electricity seep into the pores of her skin.

Her reverie was interrupted as she heard his groan, a guttural noise from deep within Loki’s chest.  She turned to him, the sickening blue color reflected towards her in his eyes.  With a shriek, she pulled the scepter away from him, her hands grasping onto the sides of his face.

“Loki, please, speak to me.” She watched the sweat pour down his face, the dark circles and ashen skin framing his lifeless eyes.  Alexandra murmured her disbelief, as she whispered his name over and over. The blue retracted, the familiar deep green returning.

She brushed the raven hair from his face, her fingers lacing through the damp heat that emanated from his body. She was on the edge of tears, believing that the power of the Stone had taken every drop from him to heal her.

It was the smirk on his face that prompted her gasp. He chuckled, “Oh, Doctor.  It would take more than that to end me.  However, I do appreciate your concern over my well-being.”

“Fuck you, Loki.”

He laughed even harder, his nose wrinkling as he sighed.

“I believe we are to receive company, Doctor Tierney.”

Dozens of S.H.I.E.L.D vehicles raced onto the grass, the shrill whining of the sirens deafened her ears.  Alexandra looked up as agents and soldiers ran from their cars, guns raised.  She watched red lights illuminate upon Loki’s chest and head.  

From her periphery, she could see the black clothing, the helmets and gloves of each agent as they crept towards Alexandra, Loki and the portal.  She could sense their fear and apprehension in the presence of the one they remembered from the last attack.

She heard a female voice, growing stronger as it rose from behind the front line,  “Stand down, stand down, that is an order! That is a S.H.I.E.L.D Agent in distress, you wait for my command!” Hill bellowed as the agents formed a semicircle around them.

With painstaking deliberation, Alexandra rose from her knees to her full hight. Instantly, her body lit with dozens of red lights prepared to remove her from any situation that could threaten the relative peace.

Alexandra knew, along with Loki, that the Chiaturi were ready to return.  The hold on their collective consciousness ended when Alexandra took over his ability to control the scepter.  

“This ends now,” she ordered.  She rose her arms to her sides, her palms facing forward, “This portal will close, and all will be returned to where it belongs.”

She saw Director Fury stride through the ranks, his long leather coat flapping in the breeze behind him.  His voice cut through every sound: the clacking of the Agent’s shaking hands against their gloves, the whir of the portal behind her, the roar of the fighter jets flying back to the base off the coast in New Jersey.

“What needs returning, Doctor Tierney? As far as I am concerned, everything is exactly where it should be at the moment.”

Her eyes narrowed, the pulsing energy that was contained in her chest and arms starting to flow to her fingers.  She could see Fury’s eyes widen, she could sense his heart rate quicken—even though he was several yards in front of her.  

For a brief second, she felt as if she could levitate from the ground. The energy in her fingertips ready to explode forth, taking every threat to her and Loki down in an instant.  She could use the power to gain control, become unstoppable…

 _No.  This is not who I am._  Taking a deep breath, she felt the energy dissipate before she spoke again.  

“I believe that’s not the case, Director.  My goal, my mission, has one more piece to be completed.  If you are going to set me on a collision course with an Asgardian, you’d best get out of my way as it ends.”  He paused on her words, just as a second figure flashed in her mind’s eye.  It was instant, but she could hear the snap of a bow and a flare of an object towards her shoulder.

Her hand reached out and she snatched the arrow from the air, aimed at the figure behind her. In unison, every agent and S.H.I.E.L.D member recoiled in shock and awe.

“Clint,” she said, while her voice echoed around them, “let’s not do this.”

In the crowds, towards the back, she found him. She locked into his eyes, wide and unflinching.  With a wave of Fury’s arm, Clint’s hands dropped down, as his elongated bow rested against his thigh.  Alexandra scanned the area, noting that every individual was frozen in place. 

“Alexandra.”  She felt Loki at her side, her eye perked to find his own mouth open in shock.  

Without speaking, she turned and allowed her thoughts to permeate his mind:  _Take the scepter.  Go through the portal to ensure it closes.  The Chiatuari are readying for another attack so you must leave Earth._

“Gods.” he murmured as he regarded her face, and body.  Her massive wounds and broken bones healed, now, stronger than before.

_Return to Asgard with the knowledge you made the decision to sacrifice yourself for another.  Remember that, Loki._

In her ears, even at their distance, she could hear the murmurs of Fury and the agents in his proximity. They conferred on how to get the Infinity Stone into their grasp without prompting Alexandra’s retaliation.  Loki and Alexandra had become a new and powerful threat.

Loki’s vision flicked to the ground where the scepter lay between them.  She expected him to grab it and fly.  She did not anticipate the words that came forth.

His hand went on her cheek, his eyes fixed upon her lips, “Come with me. Come with me to Asgard, Alexandra.”

She searched his face, almost choking in disbelief.  Thoughts raced through her mind, each one more dangerous than the next one.

_Asgard.  Away from here, away from every memory that would bring me pain, all the reminders of my suffering.  Escape from a life that consisted of years of despair. Could I be given a new beginning, a new start?_

Her face fell as she felt the tears cascade down her cheeks, “No, Loki. I can’t.”

His own face contorted as she continued, his hand falling to his side, “Asgard is not where I belong.  While this is far from peaceful and I’ve endured enough in this lifetime, this is my home.

“I understand that now.  Whatever change, big or small, has to come from me. I cannot rely on anyone, including you, to make that an actuality.  It’s time for me to make the change to live in peace.”

Her hand glanced across his as she continued, her voice breaking, “Just as you can not rely on me to make things easier when you return to Asgard.  You have to make the decisions for your destiny.  Whether you bring peace or war to your homeland, its in your hands.

“I’ve said from the beginning, that you always had the power within you, Loki.  It’s up to you now to make that final decision.”

His head dipped down, a smile masking the vibrations through his words, “Of course.”

“Do me a favor though, Loki.” The two locked  eye as her own lips shook in her attempt to purse them into a smile.

“If you do return to Earth, promise me you’ll leave me out of your world-domination plans?  Find me if you’re willing to have a proper conversation. No tricks or schemes?”

His laugh was low, mirthless.  With a nod of his head, he bent for the scepter, eyes remaining on the calvary that was poised in front of them.  As soon as the golden staff was in his hands, guns raised towards them, and murmurs echoed from the crowd.

“Go, Loki,” Alexandra whispered, “I’ve got this.”

The loaded snicker in his voice drifted into her ears, “What you need is a distraction.”

Her head turned towards him, and instantly Loki’s mouth captured hers. Blood rushed through her body, causing her heart to race like a stallion. With a final flick of his tongue against her pert lips, he pulled away and winked.  

It was a flash, but she watched Loki’s disappear in front of the agents before he leapt into the stream.  In that second the portal ceased, the gaping hole in the sky closed. Only the familiar sight of the handful of stars over the Manhattan skyline remained.

Alexandra shuddered as her head dropped to her chest. She could sense forward movement and her eyes found a concerned Hill, a raging Fury and a contemplative Barton.

“I suppose I’m going into custody?” She regarded her thumb as it ran across the pads of her index and middle fingers.  She did not need to read the energy  to know that tension ran deep within the three individuals standing before her.  Alexandra wondered if she focused enough on her hand if sparks would fly.  

When her eyes rose she realized that they were thinking the same as her.

Fury cleared his throat before speaking, “You let a war criminal leave this realm with a powerful weapon.  I think custody is the least of your worries.”

Hill and Barton’s faces turned to Fury, but it was Hill that spoke first, “Sir, I understand the concern.  However, this is solely your fault.”

His eye flashed to her, eyebrow raised to the heavens, “Excuse me, Hill?”

“You gave her the mission without the understanding of what would be the ultimate goals of her success.  You put her in the face of danger.  Her actions were to save herself on several occasions without the help or support of the agency that said would be her backing.

“In short, Director, you failed Doctor— _Agent_  Tierney on every level in this mission.  Anything you do to her would continue to mar your name and bring further disgrace to S.H.I.E.L.D.”

A loaded silence filled the air, only the echoing sirens from the opposite side of the river floated across into Brooklyn Park.  Alexandra watched Fury’s jaw clench and pulsate from Agent Hill’s words.

“I can’t just let you leave, Doctor,” he grumbled, “You were hit with a serious amount of Gamma radiation and healed from the use of an Alien device.”

“You mean, similar to the devices that stand behind me?” she pointed out with a tilt of her head to the silent portal.

“It was common belief that all Hydra weapons were destroyed after the last attack on Manhattan.  In fact, it was an order from the highest agencies in Washington D.C. to ensure that a situation exactly like this would not happen again.

“Imagine the fallout upon the discovery that not only a member of a S.H.I.E.L.D division was a double agent for the Chitauri, but also got his hands on illegal Hydra weapons?  That his actions led to another attack that took S.H.I.E.L.D lives, and could have been easily avoided if those weapons were not available?”

Fury’s chest constricted, the rage barely contained in his shaking voice, “You have absolutely no idea of what has happened to you.  We do not know how that radiation has changed you, how the stone has healed you…”

Clint broke Fury’s tirade, “No, she does not. However, I have had experience with those who have been exposed to this situation, on both levels, wouldn’t you agree, Director?”

Fury tilted his head just enough to allow his neck to crack before speaking, “Truth, Agent Barton.  You saying you’re willing to take Doctor Tierney into your ‘attentions’ and be responsible for her? Responsible for any and all of her actions, knowing what could occur?”

Barton and Alexandra’s eyes locked. With a curt nod of his head he affirmed, “She’s welcome to come with me.”

“Done.  Get everyone out of my sight and clean up the mess up from this park. Sun’s up in three hours and I want as little evidence of what has happened. Ideally, I want to forget all of this ever happened.” 

Fury turned on his heel and headed back towards the agents behind him. Barking orders, they scattered to their respective vehicles and began to dissipate from the park.  

Hill remained for a moment, regarding Alexandra with sorrowful respect, “Good luck, Alexandra.”

Alexandra nodded, the exhaustion seeping into her bones and skin, “Thank you. Same to you, Agent Hill.”  

Maria took off to her waiting vehicle, leaving Barton and Alexandra together.  As she tilted her head, focusing on the black expanse through to the heavens, she wondered if Loki had already stepped foot into Asgard.  _Was he welcomed with open arms_   _or was he threatened upon his return? Was he forced to blast his way through whatever he faced?_

It was Barton’s voice, precipitated by a cough, that pierced her thoughts, “Well, I think we’d best get you packed up to head out of here, Doc.”

She looked to Clint with a long sigh, “There is not one item in my apartment that is of any sentimental value.  In fact, I’d rather leave this island with nothing.” Her legs were heavy, her thoughts sluggish, as they headed to the Jeep that arrived in front of them.  

* * *

##  _Six months later_

Her boots made a pleasant  _crunching_  sound as she hiked back through the lush undergrowth of the wooded area behind the main house.  The skies were beginning to darken, an early morning thunderstorm appeared imminent on the horizon.  Alexandra mused that it must be a regular occurrence for Western Idaho to experience these storms on a regular basis.  With the weather dropping into to lower temperatures, the atmosphere became conducive to the fluctuating changes that brought lightning and thunder.

She removed her boots before entering the back door into the expansive wooden kitchen.  She placed her journal and pens onto the island before grabbing a mug for some of the coffee that had just been brewed.  

“Morning,” came the voice from over her shoulder. Clint scratched behind his neck before pulling his own oversized mug from the cabinet.  Alexandra held up the carafe and poured some for him as well.

He was dressed in a tank top with long pants.  She assumed he was off to complete a morning check on the livestock down by the valley.

“How’d you sleep last night?” he asked, leaning against the farmhouse sink framed by two windows.  Alexandra’s eyes trailed to the black clouds, watching the winds rock the trees in the distance.

“Better. Last night I was able to catch a four hour stretch. I fell back to sleep not too long afterwards. Actually felt rested, hence my early morning hike.”

He nodded, staring into this cup as his fingers tapped on the counter behind him, “Glad to hear it.  Did you some good.” A low rumble ran across the expansive acreage around the farm, echoing off the river a few miles out.

“Were you able to look at those reports from Tony?” he murmured, his own eyes turning to the noise in the skies.  

“Yes, he seems to think he can help me with the disjointed sleeping and intermittent ear ringing.  All the other additions to my daily repertoire may take some time. He suggested some noise canceling headphones at least, for now.  They should be here later today.”

With a grunt he finished off his drink with one swig before clapping his hands, “This storm’s coming in early, so I’ll grab some supplies from the stock before it gets really bad. Wind’s picking up.”  She nodded to him before he turned towards her.  

“You need anything?” he asked, and she smiled at his concern. Her head shook in the negative.  

“Kay,” he responded with his own hint of a smile before heading out the door.  It smacked against the wood frame with a  _thwap_.  

Alexandra headed over to the back doors to face the ominous clouds.  Periodically she could see the winds as they trailed downward, and the sky illuminated with light. She’d been in a few rough storms throughout her stay on the farm, but this one appeared quite menacing.  

It seemed to be picking up in intensity at a rapid pace, concentrated over an area of open plains a few miles due east.  For a moment, she felt a jolt of electricity run over her skin and she yelped. She nearly dropped her mug, but not surprisingly, she caught it before it hit the floor. 

_I haven’t felt that sensation since…but, no, that’s impossible.  It’s just a storm._

With a sharp inhale, she headed up the stairs and entered her room.  She dropped her body into her chair by the lamp, and pulled on the soft blanket underneath.  

She anticipated another afternoon of reading, now accompanied by the forthcoming sounds of rain.  She was excited for the storm, but moreover, the quiet of afterwards.  When the area around Clint’s farm calmed after the rains and the winds died down.  When all that remained were puddles in the dirt.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has liked and subscribed, sent Kudos or comments for this story! It has been a pleasure and a privilege to write this story!! Please, feel free to leave feedback here or at www.crescent-moon-rising.tumblr.com. Thank you, enjoy!!!!


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